My mom has cancer. I need someone to talk to?

Jcjsksnd

I’m 17 years old and my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer on December 8th, 2017 and I’ve been really struggling with this. Her surgery is on Janaury 12 and I’m worried about what the future holds and I’m not sure of what to expect. Her doctor said she has the best kind of the cancer (I’m not sure exactly what, I was never told). Our house is very emotional at the moment and I feel very guilty because I find myself angry quite often now. I am in my senior year and while I’m dreading what my mom is going through, I am upset that my mom may miss out on a lot of my life. I have no one in my life that can relate to what I’m going through and it sucks. I just need someon

SavedbyGrace1972

Jcjsksnd,

It's normal to feel upset and angry. A cancer diagnosis is scary. How old is your mother? Find out as much as possible about her cancer and treatment plan. Join support groups. Glad you found us but maybe ask if their are support groups for kids whose mother has breast cancer. You need a place you can discuss your fears and anxieties freely.

No negative thinking allowed ok. Cancer isn't a death sentence. Everyone's cancer is different and everyone's story isn't the same!!! So plan your future. Have fun it's your senior year of highschool. Yep you might have to detour your original route, but it's ok. Sometimes the road less traveled is more picturesque☺️.

Support your mother. I know that's hard being that you are so young, but do your best to help her get through this. Everyone will need support in their own way. If you're the praying type, pray. Ask Godto intervene and give you peace and comfort.

Do you have any other siblings? What about your dad? Have you spoken to other family members about this? The women here are very helpful but do seek counseling from someone near to you. Hugs

Cpeachymom

jcjsksnd-

I was diagnosed this past year and my older daughter was 17 at the time as well. My best advice is don’t panic. The next few months may be difficult in your house, or maybe not as bad as you anticipated. It is hard to be worried about your mom And be worried about how all this is going to affect you and your plans, and that’s natural. But it is definitely NOT a death sentence! If the doctors sound positive, that is a good sign.

I agree with SavedbyGrace1972, try to find a support group for family members or see if your school maybe offers a crisis counselor to talk to if you feel overwhelmed. Try to stay positive and avoid going down the rabbit hole of worst case scenarios. Be helpful.

Sending hugs and hope!!

dtad

Hi there. I'm sorry your mom and family are going through this but I'm glad you found us. The doc was probably referring to hormone positive breast cancer when he said she had the best kind. I know her diagnosis is scary but it is not a death sentence. Hormone positive breast cancer responds well to anti hormone therapy. The beginning is the worst part of it. Once you have all the details and a treatment plan in place you will feel better. I promise. We are all here for you. Good luck and keep us posted.

HollyDollyD

Try reaching out to a hotline - they should be able to put you in touch with loved one's support groups in your area. In no particular order.....

(1) The Komen Breast Care Helpline

1-877 GO KOMEN (1-877-465-6636) or helpline@komen.org

The Komen Breast Care Helpline offers free breast cancer support and counseling to anyone with questions or concerns. All calls and emails are answered by trained and caring staff Monday through Friday, from 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. EST. We do not, however, provide medical advice, physician referrals, evaluations of physicians, medical facilities or services. TTD available, English and Spanish.

(2) Breast Cancer Helpline

When you're ready to talk, we're ready to listen.

The Breast Cancer Helpline connects you to a trained volunteer who has been diagnosed with breast cancer for emotional support, guidance and hope. Whether you are recently diagnosed, in treatment, years beyond treatment, living with metastatic breast cancer, or a loved one - you are not alone, we're here to help.

Details:
You can either complete our online match form or call us at (888) 753-5222 to tell us about yourself and the kind of support you are seeking. Based on this information, we will match you with one of our trained volunteers. Within two business days, your matched volunteer will contact you.

(3) American Cancer Society: How We're Providing Support

We're here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to help guide you through your cancer experience. Whether you've recently been diagnosed, are currently going through treatment, or are caring for a loved one with cancer, we're here with information, day-to-day help, and emotional support every step of the way. From free lodging and transportation to help making decisions about your care, we offer programs, services, and resources in our Find Support and Treatment section to help you on your journey.

Cancer information services

Giving you accurate, up-to-date information on cancer is one of our top priorities. You can find plenty of information here on the site, but if you still have questions, you can call our 24-7 helpline or check out some of our more in-depth publications.

Cancer information, answers, and hope.
Available every minute or every day.
1-800-227-2345

Luckynumber47

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I just knew I was going to die the very next day, in some horrible, painful way. I'm sure you imagine that is what will happen to your mother but it couldn't be further from the truth. I chose to have a double mastectomy (BMX) which meant surgery with an overnight stay in the hospital. Now I take one tiny pill every day. That's it. Other than dr checkups every 6 months I have no other treatment and I'm fine. If I hadn't told my family about my cancer I dont think anyone would have known. So it could very well be that your mom's treatment plan could be just as easy.

Your mom won't know her full diagnosis and treatment plan until after her surgery but you should have a frank talk with her. She's probably trying to protect you by not going into all the details. Say: mom, please tell me everything you know because not knowing is really scaring me. She's probably as worried for you as she is for herself because moms just want to protect their loved ones.

Right now everything is geared to just getting to surgery. After that, things will settle down and normal life will go on. Just hang on until then

LimnoGal

jcjsksnd-like others have mentioned, this is scary for sure, but it will most likely turn out to be a bump in the road. A bad bump, but a bump nonetheless. Others have given you some very good suggestions, and I recommend that you look into them. One other suggestion I will pass on: pitch in a little bit more at home. Make a dinner. Pick up the living room. Run to the grocery store. Sometimes those mundane things are the most appreciated. I’m not suggesting that you take over running the house, because this is a big year for you and you should participate as fully in your senior year events as you want to! Just pitch in a little more. It will be noticed and appreciated.

For what it’s worth, my daughter and I are much closer now, a year and a half after surgery, radiation and chemo. She was a huge help throughout that mess, not because of anything big that she did, but because of a lot of small things.