Joining the IDC Club

HollyDollyD

Hi (mostly) ladies.

I'm new to the forum. I found a lump during my monthly breast exam in November, had a biopsy on my birthday in December (Dec. 18) and got my tentative diagnosis from the radiologist then. Official diagnosis was 12/21/2017.

1.6 cm

ER+, Allred 7, 95%

PR+, Allred 6, 60%

HER2- equivocal at 2+ sent for FISH analysis

Ki67: 33% (cutoff 20%)

I have to admit, this is all pretty new and still shocking. I'm under 50, and looking through surgery choices (those are up first), then chemo and radiation and breast reconstruction, if necessary. And I'm quite frustrated. Can I say it is just really, truly annoying when there is not clarity on a path forward and when the experts disagree on much of this.

Lumpectomy vs. Mastectomy vs. Prophylactic Mastectomies. I think I decided on a lumpectomy. I've been told due to the location of the mass (near the sternum) radiation is probably a given even with a mastectomy.

I'm just scared, I guess. It feels a little unfair. I didn't have early menarche. I had my first child by age 30. I breast fed as counted by YEARS not months. I eat healthy. I exercise. I'm not overweight. And my Mom (who is almost at her 10 year mark) didn't have BRACA genes. Not a smoker. Not a drinker - save the odd glass of wine. This just plain sucks.

And the waiting. Oh the waiting. I guess I never was patient.

Holly

OCDAmy

Holly, sorry you had to join the club. You are right, I think the waiting is the worse part. Hopefully once you have a plan you'll feel better. It's ok to ask "why me", I do it all the time. Cancer just sucks. Best of luck to you.

waytooanxiousmommy

HollyDollyD so sorry. I was diagnosed last month and it is tough. You are at the toughest part. Its so hard to take it all in. I am glad to see your receptor status. I am TNBC. Fingers crossed you will be able to avoid chemo and do hormonal therapy instead. From my experience choose a doctor and hospital who make you feel taken care of and make yourself a priority. Exercise and eat well, rest, drink nice teas, hang out with friends who help you to feel good and let people who want to help you and do nice things for you spoil you. Hugs and love

Beatmon

Cancer is such a crap shoot. You have lived a healthy life style... you just never know. There are so many of us I think the statistics will soon be 1 in 6

moth

Hi Holly. I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm an IBCLC, was an LLL and yeah, I too breastfed for *years*. Good bmi, I exercise, don't drink, don't smoke etc.

It sucks when the stats say we shouldn't have it and yet we do. I mean, wth? I think I keep cycling through denial and anger in my processing right now.

The only thing about my lifestyle I keep circling back to is maybe all this healthy living stuff will help us now. Reducing risk of comorbidities is a big deal. I was up and about and doing 20-30 min walks within a couple days of surgery. I'm ramping up my meditation practice and even with all this, I've been sleeping pretty well.

So I guess at least we're well armed to face this. & I suspect we'll both get better at patience because we'll get ample practice

SueRobbo

Aged 66, IDC, E+, P-, Her-, Grade 3. Lumpectomy and sentinel node surgery 21st December. Just been told Her2- (results of FISH test). Don’t know if I’m more worried about the single receptor status now (E rich 8/8) than the Grade 3. Hoping for surgery results in a week (clear margins and no nodal involvement would be good). Not a clue about size of tumour orwhat sort of treatment I will be offered.

HollyDollyD

Thanks for the support, ladies.

Yeah, moth, I totally get the anger. I wasn't really in denial, somehow I just KNEW - so I was really pushy about moving through the system. But the anger and sadness. And definitely WTH.

Yup, SueRobbo - waiting for treatment options is really tough. However, E+ is good news - no? It means more treatment options - at least according to the breastcancer.org site. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Just waiting on a surgery date, really. Should hear back today.

Falconer

Holly, so sorry you're here with us. I too have a similar profile and a similar history except my mom did have BC in her mid50s after taking HRT. Never planned on that, still received the dreaded dx well before menopause. Please know you're not alone, this board is fabulous, and let us know what questions you have. You'll make it through.

SueRobbo

Thank you Holly, really glad of the support on here! Good luck

HollyDollyD

Thanks, Falconer.

Yeah...HRT. My Mom took Premarin. Then she stopped it. Her Dr. sent her a nasty letter about stopping. Years later, the whole Premarin/Cancer risk came out. To say she was furious would be an understatement.

Didn't hear back from surgeon today, because the technology went down. This is going to be a "but yet she persisted" place for me. I don't take waiting well.

Holly

Rrobin0200

yes. It just plain sucks. I'm in the same boat... non smoker, exercise regularly, normal weight, healthy eating habits, and occasional drink here and there. And yet, here I am. Guess the saying "cancer doesn't discriminate" is 100% true.

Waiting is the worst part. But, you'll get though it. I promise

SavedbyGrace1972

HollyDollyD

Boy oh boy if only you knew, lol. 2017 was going to be my best year. I was going to start and finish strong! I was happy, healthy, and learning to live life to the fullest. Had discovered a healthy lifestyle and lost a significant amount of weight. Rang in the new year with my husband and kids and was celebrating a 35 pound weight loss. Decided I was going to gain muscle and really focus more on me. For the first time in years I felt great! Looked great and was a solid size 4 and weighed 112.6 pounds!!!

Turning 45 was going to be wonderful!!! I held a vision board workshop in my house with my family and I was going to write the vision and watch it happen!!! For my birthday I went on a week long cruise. Living my best life now!!! Then in May, it's time for my annual mammogram. This is routine. Let me go get the girls checked. I also needed to make appointments for annual physical, pap and update immunizations.

Next up the return for more views. Ok. Maybe y'all couldn't get good pics because I'm hopefully a double A cup at best. Went back for additional views. This time I had the 3D because hey let's get this right so I can continue living my best life now!!! I'm running a ten day daily, winning all my Fitbit challenges and looking great! Or so I thought!!! Follow up mammogram they say it's a mass but we're just going to watch it for now. Come back in 6 months. Ok. This is routine! It happened to my cousin and best friend, so it's nothing. They are just being extra cautious. Now it's November and time for the follow up. Well I go and this time they've want to go ahead and do an ultrasound. Ok. I'm no thanks worried. Radiologist says I don't feel comfortable just monitoring this slets do a biopsy. Now I don dont drink, smoke cause never ever did Drgsanf I have breast cancers

So now I am ending 2017 fighting for my life!!

SavedbyGrace1972

HollyDolly

I am thinking I are too much food cooked on the BBQ grill using charcoals, or maybe it's all the chewing gum I eat, or just maybe it's just meant to be. After all I survived being born at 2 pounds in the 70s so surely this should be a walk in the cake right? I'm praying it is all I can handle and then some.

EastcoastTS

Holly:

Sorry you are here but glad you found this site. I say it all the time but will repeat: I could not have made it through this year without BC.org. Please ask any and all questions or come here to vent. Whatever. We get it.

I've often thought about why I got BC. My mom has as well but diagnosed at 73 and BRCA-, so doctors pooh/pooh'd it as risk for me. But we're both ILC with lots of prostate on her side, which I've read may be connected. I just think they haven't found it yet. I'm BRCA-, too. Idk. Things I did "right", things I did not do "right". More on the I did things right -- but still here. Try to get past that and look to the future.

I agree about differing opinions from doctors. I had to make my own decisions for the most part on surgery and, actually, chemo, too. It's a bit of a crapshoot, I hate to say.

Good luck and know we're here for you.

Cpeachymom

I’m with you ladies in the taking good care of myself, eating right, had children early, breastfed, etc...yet here we are. In good shape to recover, for sure. But man, there are days when I feel now like “why bother? I already Have cancer!” The steroids I’m on right now and the amount of sweets in the house from Christmas aren’t exactly helping with food choices either!!

There is no rhyme or reason to it, and no fairness, and it’s not punishment for anything we did or didn’t do. Even young children get cancer, and I would rather it be me than them any day.

SavedbyGrace1972

cpeachymom

I totally agree. Some are born with cancer. We are all made of cells and who knows what makes them change courses and act bionic (laugh), but let's just pray and rely on modern medicine to get us through.

bripoe

Hey ladies! Here is my story! In May 2017, I went to the dr to have my annual physical. She mentioned to me how at 46, I hadn't had a mammogram yet. I said mmmhmm and went on. Yet a couple weeks later, something said "Make the appt". I opt for the 3D one, even remarking to my husband.........I went for the best one because this will probably be my last". When I arrived, the technician said......."Dont be surprised if you get called back for additional views since this is your first. We don't have anything to base it on, so we want to be sure"! Ok, great! Yep, I got the call back, but when I arrived they said I would be going to the diagnostic center and speaking with a dr. What it really meant was we are doing a sonogram. After the sono, the dr comes in, takes a look and says........I think we should biopsy the mass on the left. The mass on the right............I want to watch for 6 months. So I go back later for the biopsy. June 14th I got the call that it is cancer. It is Stage 1, ER & PR Pos, but HER2 Neg & "the best kind to have if you are going to have it" Now we have things to think about, lumpectomy, mastectomy, or double mastectomy. While I was contemplating my decision, I had an MRI on the other side because I wasnt waiting 6 months to if was cancer or not! I was going thru it one time. It came back negative, but I had read too many times they find out later it was wrong...........so I decided to do a bi-lateral mastectomy. July 17, 2017 was surgery day! And really, it was not a big deal. Everything had been a blessing up til that point.........it was small, it was caught early, not in the lymph nodes, surgery went well. The dr thought we should do the ONCO test, to see if chemo would be beneficial or not. I was pretty positive it would be in the 0-18 range and we would go on about life. I was wrong! It came back as 22. I think it lowered my chances by like 7% or something......which doesnt seem like alot, but to me was a much bigger % at 47 than if I were 77. I didnt have both breasts removed to then just say, I will leave it up to chances. So I decided to do chemo......4 sessions........3 weeks apart. I thought "I can do anything 4x right?" That what my mentality! After the first one, I felt like I was in a fog for the first 5 days. Little did I know, the further I got, the more emotional I got. I had not cried about having cancer, not once. The reality of not having breasts and feeling like less of a wife, mom & woman was taking a toll in my head. The further out from surgery, the more emotional I got, felt incomplete, and ugly I felt. I lost my hair at 11 days after starting chemo. I have never been a makeup and hair person, but this devastated me. I will NEVER forget the sound of those clippers as my husband was ready to shave my head. I put my baseball hat on and didnt look in the mirror for almost a week and a half. I didnt want to talk to people. In fact, I would avoid them. I would purposely go to the high school football game & sit by my car outside the fence or if it was a REC game, I would walk over and stand on the sidelines with the boys and take pictures. Chemo kicked my butt for about a week and a half each time then the next week or so, I would feel ok! Not great, but better. As much as my family was there and supportive, it is still a very lonely journey. One that you just have to find your way thru.......I am done with chemo and have scheduled a hysterectomy for next week. I have always said "as much as the chemo sucks at time, I am still very blessed" Are there times when I lose it? Yup! Let your body and your mind have time to heal. You will come out stronger than you ever thought you could.