Questions about Hospice and Palliative care for mom

sunny8

Dr told us my mom needs Hospice. I’m conflicted because I’ve heard so many different opinions about Hospice from wonderful to morphine death factory. I want my mom to go in peace at home but I’m conflicted. Should I hire a 24hr care person to help with her personal care and have nurses supplied by the hospital to come 5 days a week? Or should I just call Hospice and supplement with a care person.

I’m afraid if I call Hospice and she happens to have a bad day, they will just morphine her and she will be dead. But if I use a nurse / care team then I’m afraid maybe her pain might not be managed well? Mom is really afraid of Hospice because she really doesn’t want to go yet but she’s got brain and lung mets.

Does anyone have any opinions on this? I’m wondering what the difference in services Medicare will provide between Palliative care vs. Hospice.

dtad

Hi there. I'm assuming you live in the US. I'm a RN with lots of experience with Hospice. I cannot say enough good things about it. IMO most people call them in much too late. They can be there 6 months before the end and after that they will reevaluate. They are an amazing support system for both the patient and family. They will take care of all meds and supplies. They will send a home health aid to provide personal care and meal preparation. Palliative Care is the stage before where they provide comfort measures while still being treated. Good luck and please let me know if you have any more questions...

50sgirl

Sunny, I am sorry that your mom is so sick you are facing this decision. I know it must be overwhelming for you, and you must be in so much pain right now. Those feelings make the decision even more difficult, I am sure. The intent of hospice is not to bring a quick end to life. Instead, its purpose is to help the patient and family through the last stages of disease. It aims to make things more comfortable for the patient and less stressful for for the patient and family. It strives to give the patients a better quality of life than they might have without the support. The hospice staff members do not try to hasten death. They serve as a valuable resource, giving care, support, and comfort at a time when it is needed most. I would recommend that you meet with a hospice representative so that he or she can explain their mission, their services, their experience, and their proposed plan. You, in turn, can ask questions, explain your concerns, and obtain information you need to make a decision. If there is more than one hospice company available in your area, you could interview both. Meeting with hospice reps does not obligate your mom to agree to enter hospice. Also, keep in mind that your mom would be able to exit hospice at any time if she feels that it is not right for her. Mythoughts are with you and your mom.

Hugs and prayers, Lynne