depressed

dani_katze141914

Hi,

I was diagnosed with axilar breast cancer again this year, after my first one in 2011. Through surgery, on march this year, the nodule was removed and afterwards, on july, I had 25 sessiones of radiation. The doctor told me that I would feel tired and depressed. Well, I am always struggling with tiredness and depression, after my first thyroid cancer in 1992. In fact, after my thyroid glandule was removed, I changed a lot, my energy was never the same and had the worst depression ever. But I got used to, and had good and bad moments...

But, lately, I feel depressed as I used to feel back in 1992 and don't know if this is due radiation or what...

I was on antidepressant, but because one of the side effects (migraines) were so strong, that I decided to quit, but very slow. I went to the pyshiatrist and he told me I was right for doing so and if I feel too much depression, I have to go back to him to try another medicin. Anyway, I wouldn't go back to him, he was really different, he hardly listen and cared about what I wanted to tell him...

I don't know what to do... I just don't have any energy and feel that I have lost interest in thingd I used to enjoy, like doing excirse. Lately, for weekends I hardly go out, don't want to do anything, but sleep...

Any insight are welcome!

Thanks for reading.

dani_katze

Alicethecat2

Hello Dani

In case this helps, my oncologist told me to rest whenever I needed to after radiation. I lay down for two hours each time and then jumped up as if nothing had happened.

Five years on, it seems to have been good advice.

Alice

MTwoman

dani, I would recommend that you find a different psychiatrist. Your history of thyroid ca means that you are already at risk for low energy and depression. Not all medicines have the same side effect profiles, so there will certainly be something that you can take. You do NOT have to live with depression. It's awful. As for feeling "that I have lost interest in thingd I used to enjoy", that is a symptom of depression. It's called anhedonia. That should also get better when your depression is well treated.

Please do try a different doctor, you need your strength (both physical and mental) to heal.

dani_katze141914

Alice, thanks for your respons. Can you tell me how long it's been your radiation therapy? I ask this because, my radiologist told me my energy would come back after a month, and it's been more than 3 months for me now...

MTwomen, Thanks for your advice. I was thinking the same, to try another psychiatrist... It's just that I tried so many. For instance, after my first mastectomy, I found a good one and I was on medicin for depression for about 2 years and he told me I was recovered from my depression, although I visited him three times after leaving medicin, telling him I didn't feel ok. So, I tried a new psychiatrist, when I felt stressed about work and went back to and medicin again. Then I looked for another one, for a better diagnosis for my mood disorder, but she told me that she never saw me depressed.... So I returned to the previous physician and he told me to go back only if I still feel awful after a month without medicin ...

So I am thinking to wait for a month without medicin or to look for another psychiatrist...

MTwoman

Gosh, that would be frustrating! Typically, if a person has full resolution of their symptoms, a trial of stopping their medicine is offered. If they have another episode of depression or their symptoms return, restarting the medicine makes sense. The more times that someone has gone on and off medicine (because their symptoms resolve) the more likely that they may need to stay on them, even after symptom resolution. I hope you find a new psychiatrist who will continue to support you until you feel like you have your old energy back and your depression is long gone!

LizzieP123

lumpectomy + 3 lymph nodes 12/21/17, then 20 days of radiation. the cancer was small, the lump had clear margins, lymph nodes negative for cancer. I start estrogen blockers in a few weeks. I am told my prognosis is quite good. I thought by now I'd be feeling out of the woods. I can understand the 2-month anxiety attack prior to the surgery, I just can't figure out why I am still so angry, anxious and depressed.

Georgia1

Lizzie, breast cancer is a real emotional kick in the gut, in addition to the physical after effects. So many of us feel angry and anxious months later. I have found that checking in with friends here is helpful when I'm feeling down, but I also am trying to regain my life by going back to the routine I had before. Hopefully when the weather improves so will your mood but I would expect ups and downs.

Dani, I hope you find a good doctor to help you, and I also wonder if your treatment facility has a breast cancer survivors group? Sometimes talking to women who've been through this is the best thing.

Love and hugs to you both.

LizzieP123

thank you, Georgia! Holding on by a handfull of threads.

Hopeful82014

Dani, your radiation oncologist was, in my experience, down-playing how long it takes to get your energy back after radiation and other treatments.

When I was first diagnosed several women told me that they had been told the same thing (one month) but found that it took quite a bit longer - six months was a common comment. Some women said 4 months but NO ONE said just one month!

I felt pretty good soon after radiation (maybe after 6 weeks or so?) but then crashed a few months later. That was probably due to a number of factors including not taking enough time to really recover AND having to push through and be Wonder Woman for the rest of the family too soon.

Radiation takes a toll on your body (as you know) and it's not very consistent or predictable. Combine that with depression and it's a really tough way to go through life. Please take it as easy as you can, do things that make you feel good (maybe get outdoors whenever you can) and put some time into finding yet another new psychiatrist. You need and deserve support to get back to feeling like yourself.

Lizzie, cut yourself some slack! You're dealing with a major life change (despite your good prognosis) and it takes more than a couple of months to recover your equilibrium. And that's not considering the physical effects of treatment. If your hospital/treatment center has an oncology social worker you may find it very helpful to talk with her. Usually these services are free and some of the social workers are EXCELLENT. A support group can be helpful. If your hospital offers any other services for those in recovery check into those. Locally we have, for survivors, yoga, tai chi, Nia, meditation, and Pilates, all of which are free. I've found some of these wonderfully healing and supportive. Not everyone's lucky enough to have these but it's worth asking. Your local YWCA or American Cancer Society may also offer something helpful.

Good luck to both of you. Sometimes healing from the invisible injuries is the hardest part of cancer.