New here, saying hi, need encouragment

ShayRodzeer

Hello everyone,

i was diagnosed with BC in July. my tumor is about 2.7cm with a mix of IDC/ILC-i find that strange. its also an odd shape in that its not exaclty a round shape but sort of a U. there is one node involved, .7mm, the others appeared to be inflamed-don't know what that means in the grand scheme of things, but my onc said theyre that way possibly from the biopsy. I have one more chemo session out of 6. meet with surgeon 12/5 to decide on what surgery to have. my instincts say double mastectomy but a small part of me says that may not be necessary. i do not want to go through this again. i just turned 40 and have 3 beautiful, busy, little girls and a super husband. im tired, scared to admit im scared because everyone is telling me i MUST stay positive...ughhhh

anyone have any good advice on how to just stay sane?

EastcoastTS

Shay:

Welcome to the club no one wants to join. BUT...you've found such a great place for advice and support. I literally could not have made it through this year (almost a year with this mess!) without the women/men on this site. Even with family and friends trying to be there for me, I find that only someone who has gone through this "gets it".

Staying sane. Hmmm...I think I've tried to take one day at a time. Learn all I can, then make decisions and not worry too much about the choice. Not always easy. Just feel gratitude for all that I have. Yoga has really been good on that score too. Mindfulness and breathing!

I just finished binging Outlander! LOL That's a pretty good recipe for forgetting about BC for a moment, if I could offer it as a suggestion. (Pretty Scottish sexy at times...can't beat that.) This Is Us for extreme tears every week (but so cleansing!).

How about coming here to vent and express the doubt and fear you don't want to with others? I don't like admitting I'm scared, either. But I'm okay to do that here. Or a local support group. I'm thinking about trying that out. Why not?

Final note: I was torn between lumpectomy and BMX. I was very small-breasted and all the PSs I talked to (3) were against lump from a cosmetic standpoint. BS was cool with either. My final tipping point I guess was the fact that mammo did not see my tumor, even when I was pointing it out to the radiologist. Nada. I knew that unless I were to have an MRI every year, I would not feel "safe". And ILC can be sneaky, so I wanted to make sure there was nothing there that had not been seen on MRI even. I also hoped to avoid radiation if I could, which may be possible with BMX. My mother, on the other hand, did lump/radiation/chemo (triple neg) and 10 years out is doing fine. Reconstruction does add some complexity to the mix, I will admit. (I had tissue expanders and now implants) but I think I'm happy the tissue is gone, to be quite frank about it. It's a very personal decision...and I didn't make it until about a week/two before my surgery. Ask lots of questions and soul search, Don't forget about the great lists on this site that will tell you how to prep for surgery. I was so damn prepared, it was scary.

GOOD luck to you!

Denise-G

ShayRodzeer - just wanted to extend an hello - and tell you how I almost decked the last person who told me to "stay positive". I had

enough of that statement! I tell people that is the WORST thing to say to a cancer patient. I had a single MX 6 years ago, but found I

have a genetic mutation after my sister and mom were both diagnosed within 3 years of me. So now I am getting the other breast removed

at the advice of my MO.

Sending all my best wishes - you will make the right decision for you!

Georgia1

Welcome! My tumor was a mix of IDC and ILC also, which drove me crazy because there's so little written about that. But in the end I believed my surgeon that it didn't really matter. The treatment plan was really the same.

I was diagnosed just a few weeks ago, and chose lumpectomy. Radiation starts soon for me. My "staying sane" plan has been to get up and go to work every day, plan some fun treats like a manicure I'd usually do without, and limit the Internet searches. I did, however, insist on an MRI and researched the heck out of every aspect of it. And I got a second opinion on surgery as well as radiation.

In the end, mastectomy vs lumpectomy is a very personal choice. We're all here for you as you go through this so keep in touch if you need anything.