Evolving in how I react to changes

Catsme

Before breast cancer I didn't worry too much about little changes in my body. I'm over 50 and changes seem to happen daily :-). Now I see every change as an "Oh no" moment. I'm working with a counselor to help with the PTSD, of this experience. I am trying to apply some of the things mentioned in this community, like the two week rule.

What I am struggling most with is the frustration and anger I feel over my reaction to even the smallest change. Sometimes I'm afraid if I don't react with an "Oh no" attitude something bad will happen. Do others feel this way? How are you working through this?

Thanks

mistyeyes

Catsme - I get worried over every little twinge I feel. I automatically think its probably cancer. I try very hard not to be frustrated or angry because in my weird mind I think stress helps cancer grow. I don't yet know how not to be stressed and feel like I am not going crazy. I still sometimes wake up in the morning and in sleepy mind almost forget about it, then think that I can't believe I am going through this.

Sorry, I did not help. Maybe just pretend the attitude you want and it will become that???

Catsme

Thank you mistyeyes - by just responding, and sharing a similar experience you help so much. The emotional and psychological effects of breast cancer was something I just didn't expect at all.

MTwoman

Catsme, many of us are more hypervigilant over any changes in our bodies after a bc diagnosis. I have found, and had this confirmed by others here, that the feelings soften over time. I can still get scanxiety with the best of them, but being blindsided on a daily/weekly basis over unusual body sensations has, for the most part, faded after 14 years. Give yourself some time to continue to heal, and be gentle with yourself. It can take awhile to reach our new normal, and we all take different amounts of time. Warm wishes and gentle ((Hugs))

Wildplaces

Catsme,

For me it was devastating.

I have two parents and a child that I am responsible for, and I work in an area where I am supposed to be the caretaker. The diagnosis, treatment and notion of prognosis were a very hard blow.

I am ok - I go to work, exercise, travel, smile and see friends but I also come here everyday.

I think in time I will need this less and maybe have more to give, but I have not processed it entirely yet.

In that sense I am asking the heavens for a bit of a break from all this before and if another "change" is to come. So yes I I have the Oh no change

I hate anything to do with doctors or tests when it comes to me, although my work is in a hospital, and I don't think twice about being there.

I don't think the medical community as a whole gives enough support to the emotional and personal changes associated with this diagnosis - it's not just about antianxiety - I am not by nature particular overanxious - it is a bout of REAL fear and practical difficulty of having to deal with the burden of this disease.

I, like you, am hoping that it will soften with time.

😊🌷

Catsme

Thanks so much for the support and hugs. Having a place to share these feelings with those who truly "get it" is so comforting. MTwoman, I am working on having the compassion and patience for myself. Your 14 years of experience reinforces this. Wildplaces, I agree, the emotional aspects of this need more focus from the medical community. I did get connected with my counselor through my medical team right after diagnosis and before surgery. At that time I was so focused on the physical aspects I didn't know why they were making this connection; now I know.

Thanks, prayers and hugs to each of you.