The Secret Suckiness Of Life After Breast Cancer

cp418

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/10/176194/life-afte...

Wendiwithani

Great read...

GreenEyes81

Very good, thank you for sharing.

Denise-G

Amen!

gb2115

I need a "like" button right now.

HoneyBadger47

Amen! This is the type of truth I would like to see given to the public. It is the root of one of the reasons I am angry about BCO's take the fright out of BC. WTH?

Why can't the just change it to the Fright and the Fight.

Simbobby

So, this is what I have to look forward to? Bummer!

exercise_guru

I really appreciated this article because it's something I could share with my family my husband my friends. I have often wished someone would start a thread where we can all talk about this suckyness issue and share support. I am post-treatment feeling discouraged about howuch my life changes. I am still chasing down side effects. I feek very alone knowing my life has changed forever and trying to somehow map out a future while dealing with the after-effects. Some days are better than others but I agree with everything she wrote in the article it expressed exactly what I am feeling.

HoneyBadger47

Simbobby - Maybe. Everyone is different. At least if you do go through it, you will not feel like you are nuts. And when you have to smile and nod about how grateful you are, you know you have a safe place here to rant, laugh, vent and then pull it back together.

How are you doing on chemo? Good luck with treatment.

ABeautifulSunset

So great. I shared it on my Facebook page and I am getting a great response. Thank you for posting it.

CeliaC

Thanks for sharing this article - helps to hear things so eloquently expressed. So true about people only want to hear that you are OK.

Falconer

yes!!

ShetlandPony

Now there's some Awareness for you!

labelle

Yes, indeed.

Optimist52

This is so true, it makes me feel less alone with these feelings. I've occasionally referred to my side effects on letrozole with some female family members and received little to no sympathy. They just don't want to hear about it.

Jackster51

Well said!

dtad

Hi everyone...IMO this is what Pinktober should be about!

pennsygal

Thank you for posting this. I went to Panera yesterday and it was decorated like a five year old girl's birthday party - pink balloons, fuzzy pink rope with bc ribbons attached, a big poster to sign - it was revolting. In the midst of that, and the constant blabber about "battle", "journey" and all that f-ing pink, this actually describes reality.

ShetlandPony

What do you think about saying that ^^ to the manager? And asking exactly how much and to whom the company is donating?

CeliaC

Thanks for the posting about Panera - I will be sure to steer clear until Fxxxtober is over. My boss (male) actually came in with a "BC Support" travel mug from Panera the other day - Yuck!

J57

I was diagnosed 8/2013...stage 1, no lymph activity (4 removed), didn't need chemo, 35 treatments of radiation. I was estrogen positive, HER2 negative. I consider myself exceptionally lucky. My team of doctors was/is outstanding. The aftermath has been so challenging and downright discouraging. I have recently (5 days ago) voluntarily stopped taking my Letrozole. I'm in such joint & muscle pain that it has become dibilitating. I teach third grade & can barely move around my classroom. My school is all stairs & the pain is fantastic! I did see my oncologist & ask for time off, more like I told him I was done! As you can't well imagine he was not thrilled. We settled on 6 weeks during which time I will be seeing a rheumatologist for advice/relief & bloodwork to see what is going on. I warned my oncologist that after the 6 weeks I have every intention of going for 6 more & starting back on Tamoxifen which I tolerated so much better. I'm done with the aromatase inhibitors. Turning over a new leaf to eat an anti inflammatory diet & stop drinking-maybe that's why I'm really ticked haha, & exercise. I'm no whiner & have been blessed with a great sense of humor but I'm frustrated. Anyone else been through or going through this? Any advice? Thanks

bravepoint

Great article. Thanks for sharing.

VLH

Everyone has the right to their own responses to tying marketing / sales to breast cancer, but just as an FYI, Panera Bread has donated over $2 million to breast cancer organizations. Their Pink Ribbon Bagel program was started by a franchise who is a long time survivor, originally diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer. Some franchisees donate 100% of their Pink Ribbon bagel sales one day each year.

I'm not defending abusive marketing practices, like slapping a pink ribbon on any old product to promote "awareness" while not donating more than a pittance (if anything) to research or tangible support for women in need. That is truly loathsome. I don't have the visceral response to pink that some do, BUT admittedly have problems with the images of smiling, beautiful, perfectly made up women beaming at the camera when the realities of breast cancer are so trying and ugly.

As to the general concept of suckiness, I had numerous complications during treatment, deal daily with knowing my triple negative cancer is relatively high risk and that I have genetic mutations associated with chemo and radiation therapy resistance. I have lymphedema as well as neuropathy in my hands, shins and both feet, the latter affecting my gait and balance. Adding that to the fatigue associated with decades of severe Fibromyalgia makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to return to the part-time jobs I need both financially and emotionally. I'll likely never recover from the financial hit of paying catastrophic out-of-pocket co-pays. THAT is my cancer reality and it ain't pretty.

Lyn

Jackster51

I could not agree more that the whole 'smiling faces thing' does us all such a disservice. I will wholly admit that before I was diagnosed, I had zero idea how devastating it can be, even for early stage gals. It's a shit show! We need to change the 'image'.

dtad

jackster15...completely agree!

pennsygal

Lyn - thanks for posting about Panera and their donations. That's impressive! I really like Panera generally - I think I was surprised to see the decor, which seems somewhat at odds with their 'clean food all the time' campaign. Of course, nothing is perfect.

NotVeryBrave

I agree with the disconnect between the "pink" campaigns and the reality of BC. I'm a nurse and still had no idea of how scary BC is! What is portrayed is a strong, healthy, and happy survivors group. The true story is quite a bit different:

- having to be strong in the midst of feeling anything but,

- trying to be healthy while the treatments are whittling you away,

- working your way back to happiness but never really carefree again.

That's the true story of BC and its aftermath.

VLH

Yes, in attempting to offer hope, some breast cancer organizations seem to ignore the toll taken by treatments as well as the suffering of those with metastatic breast cancer. Having said that, I worry that the frustration and anger of some of the more vocal critics will make all corporations reluctant to support breast cancer research.

Lyn

meg2016

I never felt like I needed a support group during cancer treatment, I had great support in real life and these boards for questions. Plus I had enough on my plate! But now I feel like I need a breast cancer group just to have a safe place to vent. I am extremely "lucky" all things considered, but some days I really need to just commiserate with people that get it! This article is so validating.

LeesaD

Meg2016-I feel exactly same way. My family, friends, colleagues were/ are so unbelievably supportive to me. But now that I'm done with 'active' treatment it's hard to get across the reality of my new normal. I had a meltdown last week and my poor husband was trying so hard to understand. I read him this article and said this is what I mean. He got it. Hard to explain to people. And I admit I had no freaking clue until it happened to me. I too only saw the pink. I went to the 'Look Good Feel Better' program at my cancer center today. There were five of us all with breast cancer at different stages of our journeys and it was therapeutic to just chat with others who get it as we were doing our make up. And I highly recommend the Look Good Feel Better for those who have not gone! Women who ran it were wonderful and the make up we got was awesome! It worked and I felt good after! We need all the positives we can!

CeliaC

NotVeryBrave - Stated very well!