Family mental health

Nurseinboots

It took me a few months, but I eventually got on board with some professional mental health care to help me through this dx. I finally got DH to make an appointment for himself.

Both of us definitely had some stuff to work out before I got diagnosed. I guess this is what it took to accept some help.

MTwoman

That's great Nurseinboots, someone who has experience in supporting people and who has an open, non-biased opinion can be so helpful! I am sorry that "this" is what it took, but am encouraged that you are both seeking support. Good luck!

Legomaster225

Good for you Nurseinboots (I’m trying to picture you with this username :-). Sometimes just talking to an uninvolved person can be so helpful. Sometimes talking to others who are walking the same path can be helpful too. Lots of support, we just need to seek it out. Good luck to you.

Halfa

Hi my wife has just been diagnosed and is really struggling, as you would expect, to come to terms with this. I'm normally very stoical about such things but I'm really at a loss to know what to do to help, what to say or more poignantly what not to say. I'm really not coping very well myself at the moment and feel totally guilty and frustrated at myself for allowing my feelings to interfere when my wife is so vulnerable and needs me he most...

Moderators

Hi Halfa, and welcome to Breastcancer.org,

We're so sorry to hear of your wife's recent diagnosis. We know it's a difficult time for you both as you process the diagnosis and prepare for treatment. However, you've come to the best place for support! In fact, we have an excellent forum here where other husbands share their experiences -- check out the Caregivers, Family, Friends and Supporters forum and introduce yourself. We're all here for you!

We look forward to hearing more from you soon!

--The Mods

MTwoman

Halfa, so very sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis! I do think that bc does not just happen to us. It also happens, in some respects, to those who love us. I think that it isn't unreasonable for you to find a support system for yourself as an outlet for those quite normal feelings. If you do that, you will more likely be able to hear her concerns and be able to support her (if you're not stuck with unvoiced feelings/concerns). Allow yourself the space to have your own reaction, just as you'll allow her to have her own. It is normal to have feelings and reactions. Just do what you need to do so that they don't distance you from your dear wife. She will also find that there are supports (other than you) that are helpful to her, like a community like this one and/or a local supportive community (or therapist). If you first take care of yourself, you'll be better able to then take care of her. Sending you both warm thoughts and gentle ((hugs))