Waiting for Punch Biopsy Results, Unrecognizeable Self

peaceandhope

Hello All,

About three weeks ago now on a long airplane ride, I found myself scratching the inner area of my right breast. It wasn't horribly scratchy the way that I often feel with mosquito bites so I really I didn't think anything of it--I was wearing a strapless bra and on a long flight (and the bra may not have been washed for awhile). Sometimes we just scratch!

The next morning I woke up before work and hopped in the shower. When I got out of the shower I noticed two large and enflamed circular areas. They were angry, red and had two distinct what appeared like "entry points" at the center. Alas, I thought to myself, THIS is what I was scratching. I quickly looked back and remembered that the night before the flight home I slept topless so my mind went to bed bugs or some other "spider bite". I was in an old part of a major European City--seemed logical that these things would happen. I compartmentalized the health observation and put it in the back of my head--honestly, I was just mostly disgusted by possibility that it was bed bugs. Ew. I have always had sensitive skin-I literally get boils when I get bitten by a mosquito. Boils. So I thought this was more of the same.

Later that evening when I had some time to myself (I am sure you can tell where this is going) I goggled "bed bug bites on breast". I was so caught off guard--never once did I think that it could potentially be cancer let alone an incredibly aggressive form, IBC. This is when the panic set in.

As a healthy 26 year old who has no other major health issues in my life and as one who has moved many times in the past years for college, graduate school, career, I haven't prioritized establishing a relationship with a long-term doctor in my area. So a big portion of my anxiety began when just trying to book an appointment with a doctor (complete stranger) to see me. The OBGYN that I saw explained "it's probably just a dermatitis type rash" and prescribed me a hydrocortisone but mentioned that he was going to refer me to a breast surgeon if it doesn't go away in 7 days.

I lasted 1 day before going to the breast surgeon--I felt that I needed to see the breast surgeon immediately because I had a sense that the OBGYN was in unchartered territory. I am so glad that I did see her right away. Immediately I knew that the breast specialist was very familiar IBC was and mentioned that (1) the rash/redness did not appear to fall in line with IBC rash because it (a) was improving slowly and (b) did not cover 1/3 of the breast and (2) I had no other symptoms (swollen lymphnodes, thickening of the skin, swelling, heat, nipple changes etc.). She also explained that given my age and lifestyle, while not impossible, it statistically made it more unlikely. She continued to explain down a logic tree that IBC is rare, to be 26 and healthy and get it is very rare, no with no history of breast cancer, and to get it with no other symptoms over a few weeks time and have a rash improve could be a case of first impression, played in my favor. The good doctor explained that protocol would require the use of hydrocortisone for a week and then if it isn't going away, she would give me Keflex. She believes it was a type of contact dermatitis. I still think it looked more like a bug bite (given how perfectly circular it was and defined entry points). But I defer to the doctor.

Seven days into the use of the cream I saw an improvement on the rash--100%, truly. One of the "circles" was improving faster than the other and was practically gone. The other circle was lagging behind, but appeared to be improving as well. Turning from less of a red to more of a brownish purple. When the Doctor called me to follow-up to see if the rash had disappeared-- I had to answer in the affirmative that the rash had not in fact disappeared. I still had no other symptoms but echoes of the rash was still very much there and slowly subsiding (if at all anymore). I didn't want to brush it off. She told me to begin taking the Keflex and to come back in for an ultrasound a few days later. So we can see how the Keflex was working, if at all.

Two days later, the radiologist confirmed that the ultrasound show no visible signs of skin thickening. She noted that I do have dense breasts and fibrocystic breast changes. I have always known this about myself. Surprisingly, I found that following the ultrasound I felt that my chest was tender and sensitive. Is that normal? I think that I the obsessive prodding of my breasts looking for something to calm me down--make it all ok--has actually made them more tender. It has also made me more anxious--was this vein always in my nipple? Was this vein always this dark? Is the rash healing? Is my skin thickening? The neurotic struggle is real.

The day after the ultrasound, I met with the breast surgeon who explained that the ultrasound showed no evidence of thickening and that, as she looked at the rash, it was improving-- and that with IBC the rash would not improve and given the week or two that lapsed, it is likely that other symptoms would begin to appear. However, for my own mental peace of mind, she would offer me a punch biopsy which can definitively rule it out in 7-10 days IBC (the punch biopsy was last Thursday). I practically jumped at the opportunity seeing how difficult it can be for so many women to push for one and feel lucky to have been given the option. I have subsequently read stories of punch biopsies coming back with false negatives but I want to believe that with a negative punch biopsy, no other symptoms, and doctors monitoring that I will be able to find peace. How do I get there?

The past two weeks have been the worst in my life. The anxiety is crippling me and causing a physical manifestation of symptoms (tightness in the chest, complete loss of appetite, numbness in my arm, insomnia). I seriously cannot eat. I have also begun to feel stabbing pains in my right breast--I believe that this is emanating from the site of the punch biopsy but it's difficult to tell because it's on the inner underside of my breast. In addition, my fibrocystic breast tissue feels more sensitive then it usually does at this point in my cycle--I am sure worsened by stress. It's a vicious cycle of anxiety and something that I have never suffered from before. I am unrecognizable to myself. I don't know how I will get through the next week or so waiting for the path report.

I know that there are so many strong women on here--those who have actually been diagnosed and are fighting like champions and those that are awaiting results with symptoms far more ominous than mine. But I just need help. Any tools that women have used (i) while waiting for a DX and/or (ii) to accept a negative punch biopsy would be much appreciated.