My mom was just diagnosed stage iv.

Daughterofcancermom

my mom was just given her diagnoses of stspread breast cancer it has spread to all her bones and lymph nodes. Im so scared for her and the pain she is going to b in. Im scared she is going to suffer through all these treatments and still pass away. Please someone give me some good news. Im getting ready to head 1300miles to go see her i need to get these emotions out b4 i get to her because i want to be strong for her while im there.

exbrnxgrl

I am sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis. There are many fears and unknowns in the beginning and our minds do tend to wander to some scary places. It does get better over time. I was dx'ed with bone mets over 6 years ago and am doing well. That being said , the moderators have set up a separate forum for family and caregivers of stage IV patients. Check it out and best wishes .

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/144

DivineMrsM

Dear daughter, I am sorry that your mom got this diagnosis. It is a shock to her, a shock to you. Please begin by tring to stop the thoughts of projecting yourself into some unknown future, worried that your mom will go thru a bunch of difficult treatment and still not make it. Try to focus on one day at a time. One step at a time. It is something I had to learn, to teach myself to stay in the here-and-now. For me, it is one of the best coping mechanisms. Stay present. No one controls the future. We don't know what it holds. You can experience now, tho, and be there and be present for your mom.

As your mom moves forward and gets a treatment plan, it will be a help. There will be a focus on the treatment. I do not know how old you are, but it is never easy to see your parent have to deal,with something like this. You want to help but you are going thru your own stuff, too, dealing with it. It will get intense at times, but find moments and afternoons and days where you can lighten the mood. You dont always have to be perky and positive, but you will be surprised that there are still many good moments, even great ones, to be had with your mom.

I was diagnosed with bc spread to several bones in early 2011. So been around awhile. Currently stable. Even tho in some ways I deal with mbc every day, life for me is often regular, normal stuff. Your mom is blessed to have a caring daughter in you. Hoping for the best for her.