Tests, surgery and paralyzing fear...

justamy

So at my last onc appointment they found that some level is off. I didn't catch what they called it.All I heard was this could mean the cancer is back. So, off I go on Tuesday to get a CT scan and a bone scan to see what my life will look like from here on. They also had the cheery news that the hormone inhibitors aren't working well enough so I need to get my ovaries and possibly my uterus removed. Today, I started breaking out with a Sweet's Syndrome rash ( rare/ recurrent disease that came with bc. A flare up means your white count is high). I'm not sure how I feel except terrified. My husband doesn't want to talk about it until we have results. I understand that but I think I am more scared now than when I was waiting for results the first time. I know how terrible chemo is. It could be mets. Cancer already has taken my breasts and just when I thought I could move on...this...On a more positive note, I did have a PET scan last December and there was no cancer anywhere. I know I'm rambling. I'm sorry. This just sucks.

KBeee

This must be so scary for you. Can you ask your doc which level is off? Are you having other symptoms?

Hoping you get the big all clear

farmerlucy

Sorry Amy. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Wishing you only benign results. Waiting with you.

cive

Justamy, Generally a PET scan is considered the best prognosticator for BC mets, although a CT scan with contrast is also a good indicator.  It is possible something may have occurred in the last 8/9 months, but I wouldn't worry too much about it.  What they may have discussed that is off could be a tumor marker.  Inflammation can also cause TMs to be high which if your white count is high is a distinct possibility in your case.  So I wouldn't get too worried about it now, perhaps you'll have great results from the CT.

justamy

Thanks everyone. I forgot to turn on my notification for this, so I thought no one had responded. I had the scans and await the 27th for results. I am having crampy period like pain, so now I'm scared that it went to my ovaries. I'm beyond scared. My daughter's fiance is proposing this weekend. I don't know why that matters but it does. My brain will not stop. My daughter and husband tell me not to worry until I know something. I love them and know their hearts are in the right place but I don't know how you just remain calm waiting to see if the monster that is cancer has returned, only meaner and uglier than before. I'm sorry to ramble on but this is truly the only place I feel understood in this.

farmerlucy

The thing that amazed me when I was first diagnosed was how my life was now in slow motion and yet everyone around me just kept on with their lives. It was interesting and revealing. Life does go on. I still have most all of my anxiety meds from five years ago. Every now and then I take a half pill. Better living through medication is a mantra I learned here. 😉

Congratulation on the upcoming engagement. My DD is getting married next weekend. What a precious time of planning and working together the past six months have been for us - that alone has been such a blessing.

Whatever it is or isn't, you will deal. I'm sure of that. Carpe diem. Gentle hug.

justamy

Good news! No sign of malignancy! Are there any more beautiful words than that? I am so relieved and in full planning mode for my daughter's wedding.

farmerlucy

yay! Great news Amy!

wallycat

Enjoy the nuptials and congrats on b-9!! Thanks for updating us. Did they say what was causing your discomfort??