So Freaking Tired

JennD

I have no idea where to post this so I thought here is hopefully ok. I was diagnosed May 30th with IDC and have had 2 surgeries to get clear margins and check nodes. Since then it's been a lot of frustration dealing with my MO and getting the Oncotype test paid for which I just found out today it will be. That's 2 months since my last surgery! I call the office every week or so to find out where they are with things and never get a call back. I have asked for a second opinion because this MO is apparently too busy to follow up with her patients. Ive healed pretty well from my surgeries but I am really struggling with fatigue. It just hits me all of a sudden and I'm to exhausted and overwhelmed to deal with anything. I have 2 kids and raising my grandson and I feel so bad for them because I just don't have the energy or brain power to plan anything with them. It's summer break here so they want to be on the go and all I want to do is sleep! Has anyone else experienced this? Is it normal?

solfeo

I think that is very unacceptable to make you wait that long. Especially if it has delayed your treatment. It is standard of care to begin treatment within a certain number of weeks after surgery. I can't remember exactly what my MO told me but it did come up because I had to wait a long time between diagnosis and surgery, and then wait again before starting tamoxifen. I ended up falling right at the end limit of the standard. Beyond standard of care, it's common human decency not to keep a person who has had cancer waiting for information one minute longer than necessary. IMO that says the MO doesn't care much about minimizing the emotional trauma we go through as BC patients. I think you have the right idea to seek a second opinion and hopefully find someone who makes you feel better instead of worse.

Hope your energy returns soon. Life gets normal again for most of us but the time frame is always different based on the individual.

farmerlucy

Hi Jenn. Sorry you are feeling so tired. It sounds to me like you are right on schedule for "the crash" that happens to so many of us when active treatment is over. You have been through a lot of trauma in the past few months and your mind might just now be catching up. Be easy on yourself. Right now it is all about you. Maybe the kids can wait on you for a bit. Could be a good lesson in compassion. I saw my primary care physician when I crashed. He was so helpful. He said he was seeing four other breast cancer ladies with similar emotional symptoms, and jokingly suggested we form "a club." You gotta love him.

Talking things out with a counselor was very helpful to me, as was an antidepressant and meds for anxiety.

You'll get there. It just takes time. Gentle hug to you.

JennD

Thanks for the replies farmerlucy and solfeo. I fell asleep shortly after posting. I definitely feel like I've crashed. I started out feeling really positive about everything but then started to look at all the options and how I feel about radiation and hormones. It sounds ridiculous because I should be more afraid of cancer but my aunt died of lung cancer non-smoker and radiation scares the heck out of me but so does mastectomy and all the complications that can arise from that. Then there is chemo which is probably not an option but wow just no good options. I'm so inspired by all the people on here who have been through all these treatments and are still so positive. I feel awful for being such a wimp about it all. I don't think it helped that I had a really rough year going into this. Farmerlucy, I'm already on antidepressants but I think you are right about some counselling.

Solfeo,I am going to look into what happened with my case because you are right, no one should have to go through what I did. The MO actually sat there telling I just needed to make a decision on chemo without it and was really aggressive about it. Not at all an acceptable standard of care.

Thank you for your encouragement! I'm going to drag myself to yoga this morning and hope that improves my energy and mood.

NotVeryBrave

Absolutely - no good options! There have been times during this whole ordeal that I've felt like there are too many options and I don't like any. It would almost be better if you didn't get to choose - if they just said "you have this so we do that" or something.

I'm often amazed at all of the positive people on this site. But I imagine they've all had their own moments of doubt, worry, exhaustion, despair, anger, sorrow ... We're all in this mess together.

JennD

Notverybrave, I found the rant thread today and that helped me feel like I'm not alone hating all this stuff. Life was tough enough without BC! Thanks for helping me feel like I'm not just being a big baby. No one is happy with any of the options, I'm sure.

Brightness456

Ah JennD, you sound like my soul sister. I couldn't help being negative and couldn't understand how people here were so positive and helpful and not completely wrapped up in their own pain and fear, even as I was so thankful that they were here for me. It's a strange thing to be so vulnerable in such a physical way. I've had a rough few years too and things had finally started to come together. I was smiling and laughing a lot again, then wham! This hit. Go figure. My kids say they've never, ever heard me use the F word like they have since I started this process. I'm normally a Mary Poppins type, but who has time to be polite and appropriate when our well being is on the line

The waiting drives me nuts and your wait sounds unacceptable. Do you have other options? Maybe switching doctors?

Keep posting here. These people are amazingly educated and informed. I'll be thinking of you.