I'd rather be in the Beer, Wine and Dine Club...

beach2beach

Hi,

51yrs old, 3 kids, 22,20 and almost 16. ( Sis dx with BC at age 48. 8years out from IBC). Mammo beginning of July, biopsy of left br following week, surgeon following Monday, don't worry, its all good. Set to do excisional biopsy. (radial scar and benign proliferative changes).. Cry, wrap my head around that. Go for a magnetic seed to be put in where the biopsy was done by radiologist so Bs can easily find it and do pre-testing. Get call that morning from BS, her team looked at the films I had brought in from radiologist. See lump on right br that radiologist did not note on report. They will look and do biopsy. That was last Thursday. Poked and prodded on both boobs for a good 2hours. Next day,(last) Friday, get call, its cancer. IDC. On sono about 8mm. I hear the Charlie Brown teacher voice..options, lumpectompy if MRI shows everything else clean. I cant do the 6mths to 6mths of worry. Opt for BMX . BS had plastic surgeons office call within 15mins. I cried all weekend off and on worrying about my kids and having to tell them. See PS and thank goodness for my gf offering to come with me she took notes. I was and still in shock. Got call today from BS today. Pathology is ER+,PR+ and HER2- . Surgery next tues, Sentinal node biopsy and send Oncotype out 2 weeks to come back.

Now I have to tell my kids. I dont know how to start without falling apart. Especially my middle child, my daughter. After 4 knee surgeries she's ready to finally play soccer at College this fall. I want them to go back up to College and concentrate and move forward. Im not even sure what I'll be dealing with until pathology and the Onco test come back. My spouse and I live in the same home but have been separated for years. He thought about not telling kids. I think they would notice me gone for the night and then home with drains the next day and can't move my arms.

Im scared, I still cry, not sure I can do this. Afraid of surgery, not the pain, but of going under Anesthesia. Afraid of what comes after, the what if's the unknown, the pathology, the possibility of chemo, or rad, or whatever else may be found. I don't want my kids to be without their Mom. I want to see them grow all the way up and have families of their own. You read so much and you find more of the bad than the good it seems. Its been a whirlwind. Lost 9lbs from being so nervous and anxious and lack of sleep.

I needed to write some of this down just to see it, rather than hear myself say it or listen to it in my own head.

Thanks ladies,,,,,I know you all understand. xo

Italychick

General anesthesia is way better now than it used to be. I was put under about 10 years ago for a finger surgery and puked my guts out after. When I did my excisional lumpectomy surgery under a General in 2015, I had no issues, came home and did a neighborhood walk with my husband same day. A lumpectomy is different than a mastectomy, but don't worry as much about the anesthetic. They have so many things now to help with general anesthetic, don't let your head get too crazy. Have you ever been under a general anesthetic before? Ask questions, talk to the anesthesiologist until you are more comfortable. Ask what antinausea meds they will use, etc.

8 mm. is tiny, about 1/3rd of an inch. It is scary, but take one step at a time, only look at the next step in front of you and don't go too far down the road with what ifs. There is no way to know if you will need chemo yet, or radiation. I know lots of women that only did antihormonals with an er/pr positive, Her2 negative diagnosis.

Hugs, I know it is hard.

Suzanne50

So sorry you are going through this. Being diagnosed is a whirlwind of fear and anxiety. I was in your shoes two years ago. Opted for a single mastectomy. I told my kids when I had a plan in place but definitely had to tell them before surgery. General anesthesia is great. I have had it several times now and you just go to sleep and wake up DONE. So don't worry about that. The surgery was painful afterwards. I will not lie. The first 24 hours are the worst. But every day it gets better. The drains are the biggest nuisance. I had them for 3 weeks but once they were removed, I went back to running and exercise.

I had chemo and radiation so my treatment didn't end with surgery. It's a tough year after diagnosis but you will get through it. Just take it one day at a time, one treatment at a time and try not to overthink. We could all worry about the "What ifs" - trust me- I do it myself. But I try not to focus on that. I just try to live my life everyday and love the people around me. No one is guaranteed life with or without BC. Your kids will have their mom. You will be ok. Keep the faith. Hang in there.

beach2beach

Thanks Italychick, KB870 and Suzanne50. I knew you all would understand Trying to not let my mind wander so much. Every ache and pain now!

EastcoastTS

beach2beach:

Sorry you are here, too, but you've found the best place for support, encouragement, advice, etc., etc., etc. I feel these folks (women and men) are the only ones who truly "get it".

I'm new to this as well (Jan diagnosis) but I can tell you: it does get better. You just somehow start to survive in this new world, the new normal.

There are some GREAT forums with surgery advice. Search and you'll find them. They will tell you everything from clothing that will work, ways to manage the drains (I had mine 10 days and it was doable), items to pack for the hospital, limitations others have encountered. Everything. I studied like I was cramming for an exam, however, I was terribly well-prepared and in control. Or at least I felt like it!

BMX pain was manageable. You'll have meds and, I guess looking back on it, it was not that bad. NO issues on my side from general anesthesia. I did tell the team I get nauseous -- not sure if this is true (ha ha) -- but advice here was: ask so you don't! They'll give you meds proactively.

Ask questions -- no matter how minor. And know we're thinking about you.

Hugs.

Goincrzy8

One day at a time. I found out on a Tuesday, I called my best friend (im single) I cried with her and she was my support. I didnt want to tell my kids, 34 and 32. The Medical oncologist called me right away, so I made appointment to see them first. Then the surgeon called. Once I had those appointments I told my kids. Hardest thing for me was telling my daughter on her Birthday as she lives out of state and her dad was with her so at least she was not alone. My son and daughter in law plus my two best friends came to both appointments with me. I felt better having a plan in place. Everything is about waiting....hurry up and wait.....I had LMX and the drains were the only issue. Everyone on this sight is helpful and you can bet someone will have the same issues as yourself Breathe in and breathe out