Starting chemo August 2017 - would love some moral support!
Comments
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Willow, glad your DH is coming home, is he there already? How was the lingonberry jam? Swedish glögg is almost exactly the same as German glintwein, I do not like it though, I am not a fan of sweet wines, but one cannot avoid it in Sweden during Christmas, served in every home and even during afterwork hours at some work places. Is contains cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, cloves, orange peels and even some additional ingredients for an endless variety of different glöggs there are in our liquor store. Notice please that we have only one chain governmentally owned, I quess, that has monopoly for selling alcohol beverages. I know, people usually cannot believe it. It is closed half of Saturdays and all Sundays, so if you did not buy anything during the opening hours the only place you can get your drink is a closest bar. That is how we have it in Sweden, it is the same even in Norway. And expensive too, probably not whine but the strong liquor can be bought much chefsperson abroad. And the glögg is served with raisins and peeled almound in it. I hope you husband had great time in Sweden Cherry
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toghtcookie, I know these submarines, you called them hoagies? I learnt a new word today. I remember during my first NYC visit when my eldest was 15, she said mom I intendent to eat at Subway every day and I was like, honey, we are in NYC, are you sure, there is plenty of other things to eat here. Eventually she agreed to go to some other places too, but we ate a lot of submarines at our hotel room.
I feel hungry almost all the time and I am trying to cut on food, I suspect my anti-depressives is the reason behind my appetite. Sometimes I lay in bed and think about what I can eat from this fridge and it turns out I can eat just anything, like slices of cheese on the dry crispy bread all Swedes just love to eat for breakfast, I never used to like it before, now I do. I try to cut down on bread and sugar, buying the dried fruits thinking even if there is plenty of sugar in them it is still better than the gingerbread cookies but then I am buying the cookies too. The muscles is the thing unknown to me anymore and I was a runner prior to diagnosis, I have to get in shape but I have three EC I decided to take you all are welcome to share your tips what to eat during AC. Cherry
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Cherry - did you gain weight during chemo? I’m cutting back sugar now, taxol made me ate more breads that I should have, don’t get me wrong I love bread but I have to watch my sugar since I’m from a diabetic family, with the steroid I might in trouble. Willdo my blood test in a month so I need to cut my sugar and carbs this month, will eat more vegetables.
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Paulette - I lost 5 pounds on AC but I’m finding it on Taxol! On AC I ate so much, but it was like my metabolism was in super drive. Now I’m eating normally, walking more and I’ve gained some weight. I think it is maybe being forced into menopause by the chemo?
But my “normal” diet, although vegetarian and mostly very healthy, does include chocolate and other yummy things. I will cut them out if I keep gaining, but sadly!
Do you know when you start rads and for how long
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Cherry - unlike many, I was starving on AC. I keep a daily journal of this experience and in it I do log the food I eat each day. I ate constantly during AC, some very healthy and some not! But I gained no weight. During Taxol I am much more careful - eating less, not as hungry, but gaining weight easily. The chocolate chip cookies I made a few nights ago did not help the situation!
I too was a runner prior to all this - 15 miles a week running and 25 walking. I have run a few times but it is difficult and demoralizing. I do really try to get in a long walk each day. I remember at the beginning my MO telling me I could run “throughout" treatment. What a joke
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My morning appointment was canceled this morning due to my oncologist having an emergency. Her nurse asked if I could push the date up from the 21st to the 30th. (Fine with me as I needed more time to buy a ton of things in preparation). Loading my frig with pop cycles and all kinds of silly things. The only downfall is I talk with the doctor the same day of chemo. I have a ton of questions. So I will be the last one treated for the November group.
I will not be getting a port as it is not necessary using my drugs (so the nurse told me) - taxotere and Cytoxan. Not sure if that's good or not. It will eliminate an extra stick, but I may end up with a very sore bruised up arm. It's already bruised from being on blood thinners. I picked up my anti nausea pills, prochlorper, and anti anxiety pills called lorazepam. I'm going to take one of the lorazepams tomorrow and see if it calms me down. The nurse said I could do this. Won't waste the anti-nausea pills though of course until chemo time. I just want to see if it makes me feel different.
VL22 - I’m impressed you can run those long distances. You’ll get back into it in time. The best I did was just 3 miles and that was when I was 37! It about killed me then! 31 years ago - mercy I’m soold! I can only walk 2 miles now - but it’s better than nothing I suppose.
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Hi Kritti,
You both are so BEAUTIFUL!! I wish I had seen these before I struggled with my hair loss. I knew it was going to happen, but when it did it became a reality. I too eventually decided to be Bald and Beautiful, but only took pictures to send to my husband and kids. Thank you for being my inspiration to take some really beautiful pictures to have as celebration once this is over.
Hanging in there like all the rest of you Angels.
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Blair2,
Just read that you are not getting a port and I am a bit concerned. I know that not everyone does, but you mentioned that you have thin veins. I have thin veins as well and it was suggested that I get one to save the stress on my veins. It was a pain after placement, but it has helped with a "one stick" process for chemo. You may want to revisit that conversation with your doctor before starting treatments. Also if you feel you need more time to think out your questions, please ask the doctor to schedule your 1st treatment a few days after the appointment. My doctor wanted to give me a week to even decide which chemo treatment I would choose -one in which I would not lose my hair or the stronger one in which I would, so I think asking for a bit of extra time in sorting the new life that we are in is not asking for much. Additionally, while you are stacking up, please make sure to have lots of Gatorade. This will help with the 'pulling and tugging' that you will feel within your body after treatments and start drinking early and lots.
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Hi NewNormal - You were given a choice in chemo treatments? I don't know if that would have been good or bad for me. I was told what I would be taking. (Maybe because I'm HER2+ ?) Thanks for the Gatorade tip! Adding to my ever growing list. Where am I going to store all this stuff! Hoping I won't need most - but I'll be prepared......
Blair2 - my 'navigator' set up the infusion center RN to call me to answer some of my questions. Huge help. She was so re-assuring.
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Hi rlijess,
Yes, he called the new version the "2017" version, but duly informed that my hair would indeed fall out and it may not grow back. My boss, who is a retiring Med Onc, has informed that he had to say that, but it will grow back - a bit different. Yes, that gatorade was a life saver. I didn't know about before I started the 1st treatment and felt as though pin were sticking the inside of my body, but shortly after I started consuming at least 3 bottles a day, I never felt that again. Also, if you are taking the neulasta, take claritin and each peanut butter crackers because it helps with the bone pain. Don't worry about where to store - just make sure you have it all. Everytime my son's or husband went to to the grocery, they picked up items and soon my foyer was stacked with gatorade, which reminds me --time for my last 2 cases in prep for my last treatment.
Keep us updated. We're all here for you!!
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Newnormal144 - thanks for the concern, but my veins, as far as I know, are not really thin, it’s just that I’m on blood thinners. I do bruise easily from taking that drug. I’ll check into it for sure though. I thought it was odd I didn’t need one as most seem to on average. I have a good vein on my right arm that is easiest to tackle.
Rljess - the oncologist nurse I spoke to might be a navigator nurse, but not sure. I’m not use to these newer nurse titles. The meeting I went to yesterday was conducted by a nurse navigator. I did ask a bunch of questions, but a lot of her a answers were - you need to ask your doctor. She was helpful though. So I just have a list of questions for my oncologist.. Some are like administrators. I will figure it out and I plan to call them before I go in to see if I need to take my pills prior to the treatment day. I don’t want nausea to hit me right after treatment, but maybe they put it into the treatment.
Oh I dread it! I hope my body can take it. How many days on average do you suffer? Do you feel normal after a couple of days, or is it off and on throughout the three week interim? I guess what I’m wondering if there are ANY normal days to feel normal at all. I know everyone reacts differently to treatments. It’s going to bug me if I find I can’t do normal activities like yard work, cleaning and getting out to shop. Living alone keeps me busy staying on top of things
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Blair - I have different chemo so I can’t answer how many bad days are you going to get. I’m not a runner also, with my condition now, I’m happy that I can walk 40 minuets. I’m not going to push myself, will take it easy and listen to my body. I haven’t walked for couple days because we got rain then I went out with friends today. Will do my walls tomorrow.
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VL22 - I lost about 9 lbs from AC and taxol. I’m not pushing to gain my weight back, as long as my body gets my energy back slowly I will be happy. I stopped most of the sweet stuffs ate enough when I was on taxol.
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Blair2, I did not get a port for TC and I'm happy I didn't. I have terrible veins but I was fine with the nurses having to try a couple times to find a good vein. It just didn't seem worth having another procedure for just four rounds of chemo.
I usually felt normal until day five, fatigued days 5 through 10, and normal again until the next round. Round four, however, has left me with ongoing fatigue three weeks after treatment. I hope to get my energy back soon—and I am feeling better—it’s just taking longer than I’d like to feel well
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KBythelake - we do have almost same diagnosis, although my tumor was just under 2cm, so larger, but you had 1 lymph node invaded. Same aggressive cancer grade mode I see. I can deal with fatigue as it had taken my body 6 weeks for my energy to return after my bypass - however, that was just pure recovery and not dealing with drugs in my system. I hope I can deal with it like you and others.
Do you exercise at all? Maybe some short walks might help your energy come back. After my bypass, I started walking a half mile to start, then a mile, then 2 miles after a month. I could tell I felt great, and kept it up religiously until this shock came into my life. I joined the classes at the Y also, which was fun. Now I wonder if I’ll be able to have enough energy to move in a class. They say pace yourself, but I tend to push myself too much (Not at these classes), but working around house or yard.
Right now I’m so messed up with anxiety, that I haven’t kept up with my exercising at all these last two months. I walked a couple of times, but not enough. That will make me feel worse during chemo, and then when I lose my hair, that will really depress me. I can just visualize myself taking a walk with my new wig or scarf over my head, then a bad wind will blow it all off!
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Blair2, I take two short walks with my Jack Russell Terrier every day—uphill one way. But before all this cancer stuff I worked out with kettlebells. I really miss that. I’m hoping to ease back into it soon and I’ve asked my trainer for a light-ish workout to start with. Kettlebell workouts are the only exercise I actually enjoy
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Cool - kettlbell work outs. I don’t know of anyone here that does that kind of exercise, but if you enjoy it, that’s great. When your energy fully returns, you’ll get back into it. I love jack terriers for their high strung personalities. My grandfather had one on his farm many long years ago. I lost my miniature dachshund a year ago come this 23rd. She was a joy to my life for 14.5 years. Still have a little memorial set up. I’d love to have another dog, but I’m afraid they might outlive me! I was just thinking the other day that I wished she were around to just cuddle during this stress. They are such great companions to have for those of us who are single
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Blair - it’s good to have a dog for companionship, I’m happy to have mine she really gives me joy. Perhaps you can adopt an adult dog.
One week PFC got some of my taste buds back, my appetite is good and I don’t have to push myself to eat. Neuropathy hasn’t improve much, I stopped using Ativan at night for two nights, I used melatonin only. Last night I slept about 5 hours, I hope I can sleep longer. Joints pains mild, GI back to normal I think, and fatigue is slowly improving.
Have a good Sunday ladies!
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I am actually starting Chemo tomorrow... but reading other posts I kept seeing everyone say “Go to August 2017, they have great information and are so helpful!”
I need help!!!
Fear doesn’t begin to explain the last couple months. Of course y’all know. Tomorrow starts the worst part of it, or so that’s what I hear. I have read tips on what can help, physically. Mentally. Etc. But the fear going through me, is sending me into a spiral into a deep dark place.
I have a wonderful husband, 2 handsome boys (4 and 10 years old), supportive family and friends. My trust in God is what keeps me from completely losing my hope.
My question.... Can I do this? Is it as horrible as people have said? Will I not have a life for the next year or two?? Will I be able to breathe in the middle of the pain? Will I be able to hug my kids? Make love to my husband? Laugh with girlfriends?
Or is Chemo it?
Thank you for any help
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Mamatwoboys - if I could hug you, I would. You can do it - believe me. It’d such a terrible thing to be told you have breast cancer and the fear and sadness and anger can be so overwhelming. And you’ll have bad days, but you’ll also have good days. Remember, chemo is your way to fight - it must be done.
I’m finished AC and getting ready for #8 Taxol (of 12). Yes, it can be hard and exhausting and I’ve cried in bed at night thinking I can’t do this. But you just do - and you love your kids and kiss your man and have fun with your friends. I’ve really learned to value life and every day.
If your fear is affecting your ability to function each day, maybe ask your Dr. For medication to help you cope. Believe me, it is a common request.
Good luck tomorrow- you will be ok.
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Mamatwoboys,
VL22 is so right. I have had those same feelings. On the bad days, I questioned whether I had made the right decision and on my worst days I wanted to die. However, my last treatment is in 4 days and I am amazed that I have almost made it, so trust us... You can and will do it. There will be bad days and there will be good days. On those bad days, allow yourself to rest and on those good days, allow yourself to enjoy. You will be able to enjoy your kids and your husband and believe it or not, on your good days you just may forget for a few minutes what you're going through.
Sending prayers to you. We all here for you.
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Blair2,
I'm sorry that I misunderstood. The port was suggested for me because of my veins and I was told that it would be easier and I think it has been. Check with your medical team and make the best decision for you. As far as a pattern, I would say there is none. For me, that's the worst part that I can't say.. Ok, I'll feel bad x number of days and feel better x number of days. All I can say is, on your worst days allow your body to rest and on your good days enjoy them. You can do this and it does get better.
Prayers to you for strength.
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Mamatwoboys- yes this is a roller coaster journey we have good and bad days, what I learned is enjoy the good days do everything you can, on bad days just flow though it and rest. Yes it is rough and we cried, but we are strong we can make it. I finished my chemo week and half ago, will start radiation next month. All I can say each person is different, you read about my SE you might not have it. Hang in there and pray to God, he will give you strength.
Send you prayers.
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Manatwoboys, its not easy but it can be done. Whats your planned chemo regime? Lots of fluids, eat when you can, eat whatever you can, rest when you can. I have as 22 month old and 4.5 year old. The fear is crushing at times. But chemo is your weapon against the enemy. It isn't smart, but its effective. Every time you get an infusion your fighting back. I have 3 doses to go. It feels like the finish line is starting to come into sight. Don't think about how many doses you have to do, just think about this one. Good luck. You can do this x
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Blair2... I was also on TC, same as you and didn’t have a port. I’m now 6 days post my fourth and last cycle and about to move on to rads. Not having a port was not a problem at all. There was no bruising and no trouble with the sites after each session.
In terms of good days, there have been plenty, but it’s all relative! My bad days were days 4-6 after the steroids wore off where I just gave in to sofa surfing, sleeping and drinking loads of Coconut Water. For the rest, I’ve worked all the way through and whilst energy can be a challenge it’s been very doable. Good luck
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Mommatwoboys, I agonized over the decision to do chemo and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't want to pick up the phone and tell my oncologist that I don't want to continue. I hate it, hate what it does to my body and hate that it makes me look and feel sick. But I have more good days than bad and they're really good days. I appreciate that I can still do things with my family on weeks 2 & 3 between chemo and enjoy spending time with them more than before. I still can't wait for it to be over, but it has been easier than I thought it was going to be.
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I went to support group yesterday, that was my second time to go, first time was before chemo, during chemo the support group is on my bad day so I can’t join. When we talked about my chemo journey I still get emotional. BC changed my life completely and I can’t go back I only can go forward to accept it. I appreciated each day in life now, I don’t get mad with my hubby because I realized how much he loves me. I appreciated each moments in life now. I thanks God for each day because I treasure what I have now.
I think BC made me more humble and really in touch of my feelings. Chemo made me realized life can be so unpredictable and how strong we can be also.
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welcome mamatwoboys - glad we can support you! I think almost everyone on this chain has mentioned at one time or another that chemo was not nearly as bad as they had imagined it would be. that is totally true for me - my fears of what could happen included every possible side effect at it's worst, and while I did have some side effects, I was able to do something about all of them. I was helpless before chemo, but I was in control and able to do something about the SE during chemo, so I wasn't as frightened and anxious as that "what will it be like" period. You CAN do this!!! I think it also helps to think about the chemo as a powerful weapon against cancer anywhere in your body, and even when it causes side effects, think of it eating up cancer cells like pac man or star wars blasters or whatever image you like. do you know which chemo meds you will have? I was on taxotere/cytoxan every 3 weeks for 4 sessions. I had side effect days that I knew to expect right after chemo for 4-6 days (and your MO should be able to tell you ahead of time) , my 2nd week I didn't want to go out as much because of low white blood cell counts but I felt pretty good - just more tired, and the 3rd week when I felt pretty normal. as for enjoying life - I didn't have the summer I planned, but there were some very unexpected positives that would not have happened without chemo.... my hubby and kids have taken care of me, which is a complete role reversal, and has been wonderful to be nurtured and to have them be the ones sensitive to my needs. we've said the things in our hearts and hugged more. the same is true of our extended family. On my tired days, I've had time to research nutrition and plan some changes that will ultimately help me and my family live healthier lives. And it helps you appreciate a normal day where you can go about your business freely with energy (even if it's just errands)! I certainly wouldn't choose to have cancer, but I am taking good things away from this experience and know that I am a stronger person because of it (or maybe I'm just seeing what a strong person I've always been????)
Take a deep breath and know that you can do this - we're here for you!
Willow
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Mamatwoboys, I am so sorry you find yourself here but take a deep breathe, as everybody said, you can do it. We have all been there where you are right now. Please read the article a lady on TP-thread shared recently, this diagnosis is awful but it happened, this is so unfair but life will not always be the way we want or plan for it to be but it is the only one you got and now it is a time to fight for it but it shall pass, just go and read on the threads where they do roll call for those who are five, ten years out, it will give you hope. My heart reaches out to you, so unfair, but you can do it. And I strongly recommend some anti-depressives, it is hard to go through chemo with all the changes, at least you will feel more calm. I tried without until I said give me the meds and it got much better. Life will never be the same but you will find your new normal because there is no other way.
https://herecomesthesun927.com/2016/11/14/dear-eve...
What treatments will you have? When you know exactly come here and we will share with you all we know. I have so far only had 12 doses of weekly Taxol and it went well except for fatigue in the end because the effects are cumulative. I will now have three infusions of EC three weeks apart so I will be in treatment until January. Some days will be bad but the treatments are effective. Sex, well, the chemo will most certainly throw you into menopause so first wait and see how you will feel about it, think only about yourself in this matter, do not fell like you have to. It is a very time to focus on yourself, everything else will wait. And start cooking some rich veggie and chicken broths and freeze it, on a bad day you can just thaw some, throw in some noodles and you have a meal. Virtual hugs from snowy Stockholm. Seriously we have like ten cm snow now.
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Mamatwoboys, I hope your chemo session went well! I found that the remaining ones weren't as bad as the first because the fear of the unknown was gone. I hope the same is true for you
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