My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

mara51506

Sondra, I missed your post up above but I am stoked to hear that your new hospital is going to be more convenient for you and less stress ful and save time. We definitely need to be able to save our time for sure.

Micmel

KBL~ I’m with you! Get the Medicine before you become more uncomfortable! The funk is real. It comes and goes. You’re not alone

mara51506

KBL, you are NOT the only person who puts on a brave face for others. My DB and SIL get really irritated with me because unless something happens, they don't find out. I don't bother them with SE and things like that. I don't even involve them if having a depressive period as I prefer to solve my own problems. I also have a hard time with people wanting to take care of me as my whole life, people did things for me until I insisted on doing for myself. I am also sorry to hear about the yeast infection. I confess that I have never visited a gynecologist since I had no children or stds. Just the regular pap smears with my pcp.

KBL I hope you feel better soon and may that infection just go away.

jhl

Mae - that teller window is the best. It looks to me as though it might have come from a bank on Main Street in Disneyland. Is the rest of your small town that cute?

KBL - fungal infections with low WBC's can be dangerous. If it were me, I'd send a message to your MO. He/she might prescribe an oral med based on your symptoms alone rather than have to get a GYN diagnosis.

Hope everyone stays well!

illimae

Jhl, I wouldn’t call it cute but definitely eclectic. It sort of caters to people passing through to big bend National Park and is a popular place for cyclists in spring and summer. There’s a rock shop, yes, they sell rocks, a barn shaped shed as a liquor store, an ice cream shop out of an old train caboose. What we really appreciate about the nearby town is that there are no chain stores, retail or fast food, it’s all local run and the locals are intentionally keeping it that way. It means we can’t just get pizza or Chinese but in preparation for this move, I’ve learned to cook all the foods I like but can’t get easily. It also make going to the big cities a foodie event.

Micmel

welcome jhl~hope all is good with you.

Rosie24

KBL, I recently restarted meds without numbers too. New MO works under no call means start. I saw 5 days later I had 700 neutrophils. Old MO was a stickler for 1,000. I don’t feel much different so maybe it’s not as important as I thought? Hope your uti responds to your otc stuff. They’re pretty miserable.

Hi to everyone here! I hope your days/evenings are going ok.

KBL

Thank you, everyone. I'm on day two of three of the treatment.

Jhl, I will give my MO a call tomorrow and let them know. It is probably not something I should keep to myself.

Mara, Mel,and Rosie, thank you. I'm glad I'm not alone. I just wouldn't wish this on any of you phenomenal ladies, but I'm so glad you're here with me.

Rosie, yes, my doc has let me start if I’m at around .85 before but not when I’m in the .7s. I don’t know what has me feeling so lethargic these days except for perhaps my infection.

illimae

You know, when thinking about work and my old life, I mainly have no regrets but this morning I was reminded how cancer effects so many others too, not just family. My friend and former work husband texted me about some turkey and dressing kolaches he found, which he would have brought for both of us, if we were still at work. It’s a sad adjustment that those times are gone now.

Micmel

I'm sorry Mae, I can't understand the work part. But the gym buddies I had. All the ladies , I knew young ones. Everyone knew me. I was in shape. A rock. No fat on my body. I was a fit mother! My Dd used to come with me and I would be working out and she would be waiting for me to finish. She's 20 at the time . I miss feeling the power of working out and the atmosphere. I'm so sorry you're feeling it too. Just in other ways ....Hugs to you.🌹💗

mara51506

I miss my work buddies too, a lot of them are local and on facebook BUT with the pandemic, we have not been able to get together. We were initially split up when the biggest client at our call centre pulled out, this was when US dollar was almost on par with the Canadian dollar. Then I wound up getting a job with the same company taking calls from home. I did not like it but was very good at it. Had a voice that stayed neutral but interested no matter what abuse I took. Cancer entered my life, was able to work for about a year, company was great about time off then the brain met came and WBR. My brain swelled so I pretty much seized during calls, moods were wrong, I was mean to people. When I found out about the met, I left my job, I was told I could come back anytime but was given disability so decided to save myself the stress.

moth

I'm in a parking lot, snuggled in my car waiting for clinic appt. Did fasting blood work. Then about 1 hour later will see the trial nurse. Then 1.5 hrs after that, I will meet the RO to learn about the sabr trial. I came by myself this time - no point dh having to work in the car this long and he's not allowed in for any appts of course.

Made me mad though last week because when sitting in the chemo waiting room I noticed they were not really enforcing the no visitors rule. Why have I been doing the right thing and going by myself since March when they're letting others in *and* exposing cancer pts to extra people unnecessarily? Made me grumpy so I emailed a complaint. I'm becoming a cranky old lady lol

Sunshine99

Moth, it would frustrate me also to see "visitors" in the waiting area. Those that I do see are obviously there to help the patient. I had my infusion time changed last week from around noon to 4:00 PM. I was just going to wait, so that my DH didn't have to drive me twice to the clinic (it's only about 20 minutes away, but still...). He said, "No, I don't want you waiting there for four hours. I'll bring you back." I thought that was so sweet of him. I wish he could come in with me, but that's OK. Sometimes, he'll pop over to the coast and check out the surf or just watch the hang-gliders sail off the cliffs. (My clinic and hospital are in La Jolla/Torrey Pines.)

candy-678

Morning all. Almost afternoon here- 11:30am.

I had my Lupron shot and Port Flush this morning. And mammogram--- new MO said no need, PCP said to do. Lots of Covid cases in our area so I came home and cleaned up and changed clothes.

Moth- I understand the crankiness about the adhering to the Covid rules. I have been soooo careful thru all this pandemic. Hate to see others relaxing the rules.

Mae- Love the bank teller window. And the thoughts of the small town/ local businesses. Wish Covid was over, so one could visit those type of places more. We have local shops too, but here I sit in my house.

KBL- Definitely call MO about the infection. Your numbers with an infection brewing could be bad for you.

I miss my old job/workplace more than I realized I would. I dream something about work/co-workers each night. Some dreams I cannot really remember, just bits and pieces. But co-workers in the dreams that I don't really think about when awake.

I talked to a church lady last night on the phone. She had Covid (6 and counting from my church that got it so far). She is doing better. She was talking about going crazy cooped up in her house since the end of October !!!!!!! I thought, I have been in my house since March !!!!!! I did not say it, but I was getting frustrated. Then she asked what meds I am on for the cancer. I didn't elaborate. Just said 2 pills and 2 shots. She said "that is not so bad". Yet again, I was getting frustrated. So I ended the call soon after that. Said I had to go.

Does anyone else have a short fuse when talking with people anymore? I feel I just do not have the patience with people anymore. I know they cannot help it. If you do not have MBC, you cannot really understand. But I just do not want to deal with their petty ways. Maybe I am not a good person.

Hugs to all.

Micmel

I realize I’ve become cranky as well. I haven’t noticed it until recently. I don’t like it, I was never like that . I don’t like being cranky to DH he’s the sweetest thing. I don’t even realize sometimes. It’s because I’m so aggravated fighting cancer every day I get so consumed in how shitty it feels to live with MBC. I am nead and have been for 4 years. Almost 5. You’d think I’d feel better. You’d think it would be like remission when you feel good again. Why can’t that be us. The damage has been done to my body I know. But it makes me mad. I was so strong.

Tanya_Djamila

Candy I hope your appt is going well today. I think we both have bloodwork Tuesday appt.

Mae the bank teller window is so cute. Definitely it’s a stick up!

Mel Bliss Booboo I was watching the voice this morning on Hulu-just because and I heard a song- if the world was ending youd come over right? It made me emotional and then I googled it and saw that song sung with people being reunited with their pets who were in military and stuff and so I had a good heartfelt laugh 😂 cry with strangers and I thought of you guys and the loss of your pets.

Have a good day all. Bloods 🩸 drawn. Going in for faslodex shots.

Tanya

Sunshine99

Candy, I think some people will never "get it". I get frustrated with people, too. I've started just being blunt with certain people. How long will I be in treatment? The. Rest. Of. My. Life!!!

"Oh, just 2 pills and a monthly infusion? That's not so bad." I'm thinking, "Well at $14,000 a month for one pill and the fact that my white cells tank every month... Whatever..."

I'm glad we can vent here.

Happy Tuesday, everyone.

mara51506

Candy, I think that some people just do not understand how serious it is for us and minimize out of ignorance. My SIL used to correct me when I would call Herceptin my chemo app't as the cancer clinic does. She said it is not hard because it is targeted. I corrected her that the exhaustion, nausea for the first few days, nausea and general malaise is real and does not get better. It is easier I think than systemic chemo but it is a heavy drug for me all the same. I corrected her on the SE and she never has done that again. It would be like if I told her some seizures are not a big deal to deal with, she has epilepsy that nothing controls. She does not seize every day but it does knock her out when she is having a day with multi seizures.

Rosie24

Candy, It’s so frustrating when people try to minimize what we deal with to make it a more pleasant conversation. I get so many comments of “you look good, you never lost your hair” that I kind of wonder if that’s all anyone knows about cancer, that you lose your hair. I do think a lot of people are well-meaning and really don’t know what to say. You were smart to just end your conversation. Id rather talk about the weather than cancer with most people. (Other than all the good folks here, but weather is a good topic here too. I’m so glad to have found you all.

booboo1

Tanya,

I’d be there in a heartbeat! You bet I’d come over. You are so sweet.

I am getting better about Huey’s passing. I know we did the right thing for him, so I’m doing pretty well this week. We have friends here from PA this week, and they are a great distraction. We went to the new pier in St. Petersburg, and what a beautiful day. Enjoyed the breeze and thought it was a good day to be alive.

Tanya_Djamila

Boob00 enjoy your company. Its the best tonic and gets us out of the house.

Thanks for coming over - right

tanya

KBL

I did call my MO today. They told me I would be okay to stay on the Ibrance, and they called me in a script for diflucan. I’m praying that does the trick. If it doesn’t, I’m going to call my primary. I can’t get in to see a GYN for months. That’s not going to fly. I hate to ask her to check it out, but it’s better than going to the emergency room.

Thank you all for the gentle nudge to call. I really appreciate you. I probably wouldn’t have done it otherwise.

Karenfizedbo15

Grumpy old woman is completely understandable right now! I spent all my working life trying to be calm and sensible... not always successfully I should admit.....but right now 🤬. Today’s rant was at cyclists along the canal tow path, where I walk Fionn, the very well behaved dug. These eejits race along a public path with zero consideration for anyone and where I might have been understanding previously I’m now the mad auld git screaming at them to slow down. Whew ...rant over and here’s the dug.

BevJen

Oh, Karen, such a cute little pup!

mara51506

Beautiful dog Karen, I am not even considered old and I am known to lose my own temper as well for things like that.I cannot stand thoughtless people. I was yelling idiots at the TV when I heard about a protest against masks being held in a small city near mine. These people really trigger me.

candy-678

Karen- Cute baby!!!

Micmel

precious puppers !

Micmel

I miss my puppers. Today was the first day I haven’t cried about it. I haven’t felt all that great this weekend. Up and down up and down with feeling half decent. And feeling more pains and different places. It’s really annoying. Some days I go without any pain, others I get it in that s3. Prime spot to hurt me. Sciatic nerve gets all fired up and I’m in pain for a week. Cancer can go suck a d**k!

mara51506

Well, I am another year older today. Another year I am surprised but happy enough to see. Have to remember to change my age when filling out surveys, much like when the year changes, it takes a while to change the number. I will be going out with my friend for a bagel lunch, she was originally my mother's friend since I was a child but we have kept in contact, it will be nice to see her and if weather permits, we will go for a walk in the park. She is more of a walker than me even. That will be nice. It is remembrance day in Canada

Micmel

Happy Birthday Mara!!!!!!🎁🎁🎊🎊🎊🍾🍾🎈🎈🌹🌹💗💗😃😃🥰! I am sipping my coffee in your honor! Have a great day today!