My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

magdalene51

Mic, I know the relationship between the two DDs makes it hard, but I'm of the opinion that we must eliminate or at least drastically reduce the presence of toxic people in our lives - and that's what that woman is, toxic. She poisons your thoughts, and brings you down to her level by doing it. I have no clue how you would get rid of her; maybe after both DDs weddings it will be easier. And surely her DD will understand. As close as you are to her, she is not blind to her mother's toxicity, and she also undoubtedly loves you enough to understand the effect it has on you. I'd have a heart to heart with her, maybe with both DDs.

That's my two cents. As for the gift, most registries have online shopping you can access, so see if she has registered somewhere that has that option.

MJH, thought you might appreciate a pic of the place we lived when we first moved to Camden, it was right on the bay, you could see Curtis Island from the house. As you can see, there is a long stretch of lawn that leads to the water, what you can't see is that the edge is actually about a 20' cliff down to the rocks. Looking at the house on Google Earth, I can see that the owners have remodeled and added a whole lot of square footage! When we rented it it was a simple Cape Cod with the exception of the sun porch having been incorporated into the living area and a bank of picture windows looked out to the water. So nice. I can't even imagine what it must be like now!

illimae

micmel/Tanya, I like to cuss people out, give her my phone number, lol

Funny, I’m always nice but at work, I am invited to certain meetings just to hand people their asses, it’s kinda fun, like an acting job. I hav a super low tolerance for lazy/stupid people and I’ve noticed it shows more now, thanks to tamoxifen.

MJHJAN1014

Lynnwood-those flipping bottom feeder insurance companies-like we all need more stress in our lives. Being in a state of scanxiety blows big time-I hate it. We need "forget" pills for the periods of waiting for results. It took me quite a while to accept when I progressed, but I did eventually get my head around it. I am in your corner 100% rooting for no progression. Best, MJH

Micmel-Please don't have any worries about offending me! LET HER RIPPP!!! You neighbor sounds like a real treat; some people cannot even BUY a clue! Many folks have no idea what to say, so I just blow them off big time! We are all in a different realm now, and this group is together because of YOU!

Magda-WOW! Looks like a beautiful spot! There is a lot of wealth along the Maine coast now, which makes for some pretty amazing homes. We like those tax dollars! Thank you for thinking of me! When DH and I first met, we climbed Mt. Batty, in December! We spent our wedding night at a B&B in Searsport. By the way, you are ALL invited to my home this summer for lobsters, blueberry pie and gin and tonics!

Tanya, Divine, 50's girl-you are so lovely- I feel we are all kindred spirits!

Minnie-thanks for the compliment regarding my energy for my grandson. I will say that I am feeling the best I have felt since being diagnosed with MBC almost 2 years ago. Who knows how long it will last, so I am keeping the pedal to the metal as much as possible. I have such a motivation since I am essentially my grandson's mom. DD does what she can, and is getting better all the time. I am almost 60, and DH is 71, so we're tired at night! Anyway, I hope you are doing well there in sunny Spain. Hopefully your hip pain has abated some? I am itching to get to San Sebastian! Love, MJH

Mae- rest easy my dear so you can rock that beach vacation!

Gracie- I sense from your posts that you are feeling well, and that makes my heart happy!

Best to each and every one-hope you are enjoying a lovely spring day! MJH

MJHJAN1014

P.S. Mae-you really crack me up!

GracieM2007

Micmel, you couldn’t offend me!!

Micmel

I appreciate the support. People just are ridiculous sometimes. I can't belive they can't hear themselves blabbing all around. I'd be embarrassed. I know her DD is not only embarrassed of her but is really upset about the fact that her mother isn't functioning enough to have a party for her Youngest daughters wedding. I know it is not my responsibility at all, but I do love her very much. It's not her fault her mother is just not normal. We avoid her like the plague, everyone does. She's captain annoying. People run from her. It's a sad thing, but she brings it on herself for sure! Thanks again, love you ladies ! ~M~

runor

Micmel, I actually went back to read the post where you said something offensive. Oooh, goody, some offensive shit is going down! I couldn't find it. Couldn't find anything. Figured I have to come to your house and give you a lesson on How To Be Offensive. Or better, take a lesson from that dipshit neighbour of yours. Seems the woman has achieved a level of offense before she has coffee in the morning. Sadly, she reminds me a bit of my mom. My poor mom. She opens her mouth and out comes words that ought to have the warning NO THOUGHT WAS ATTACHED TO THIS SENTENCE. Once some friends had an infant son who died. It was tragic. They were bereft. What did my mom say? "You're young, you can have another one." I could Not. Believe. Her!!!!

There are people who are very hate-filled vicious people who say this stuff constantly because they are wildly passive aggressive and not at all in touch with their inner rage. So it manifests as barbs and jabs that seem innocent, but are not. Then there are people who lack the mental ability to grasp the social norms of our society and don't have the skill to not look like complete asses. Everything they say offends and yet their face just keeps flapping and it takes a huge amount of energy to not throat punch them. I feel very sorry for this woman's daughter because when your mother is like that, a mental hole, it's like having no mother at all. It's having someone who has no discernment or tact and can display no compassion or support or kindness. The woman might have a brain that performs below normal, she can't get along in polite society - and her kid has paid the price. Not fair. I am sorry you have to encounter her but it sounds like she is one of those disabled people who can't figure out why everyone avoids her.

Lynnwood, I am so sorry to hear that things might be getting worse. I identified with your description of anxiety and the physical agony that goes along with it. Just tell yourself that once you've dropped your Hub off at work and have gotten home you are taking TWO of those Ativans! Oh yes you are - going to sleep for 3 days straight! Hugs and peace to you. To ALL of you ladies!

Micmel

Runor~ you always seem to make me howl with laughter. You really just plain make me feel better. I was really laughing out loud. No one else is Home, but I can tell you it was not lost on the dogs, they both raised their heads. Even the hard of hearing one. So that should tell you the tone. Thank you for sharing that with us. Seriously. You have a great sense of humor. You're a good person! Big hugs! ~M~

Sending Lynnwood some additional hugs as well.

GracieM2007

Micmel, you really are a good person! I love how you hold everybody up to the best things about them! I hope you never lose that! The lady who was so rude is no friend, however, and is not that kind of person! She does sound really selfish. I wish you didn’t have to deal with her, but understand why you do.

I’m cleaning out my office/craft room. Everything is coming out into the living room and am sorting, thrown by away and reorganizing everything, including the bookcase and my desk!!! I do this every three or four years just to par down and although it’s going to wear me out, I’ll feel so much better to have everything sorted. I’m becoming much more of a minimalist as I get older. It might take me a few days but am determined!!

Blueshine

Hi, ladies! It took me forever to find time to post. I was reading often this tread, but at the end felt exosted to write. Between my precious baby grandson, selling my DD house and buying a new one I barely had time for myself. For now I live with them because of the baby and participate in everything. Not complaining, tired, but happy.

MicMel since yesterday i was trying to find the offensive words you were apologizing for, but couldn't find nothing. When I read Runors post , I stopped looking. Don't think like this, we are the only ones that understands completely each other. We are going through the same emotional roller coaster like you. I remember at the beginning you told me - this is the place to vent and nothing we say is wrong, because we all understand. I can add only one thing to the grate advises from the girls about your DD friend. You could talk to her and tell her how you feel about her and how much you want to help but your health at the moment does not allow you to do too much. You are a wonderful person with a big heart. Ready to support any time.

Hugs, love and prayers Elen

Lynnwood1960

Went to the hospital for my Ct scan today. Had to be there at 7:15 to drink the prep for an 8:45scan. ( cannot drink the readicat prep). The hospital pre registered me yesterday for the scan and assured me that everything was in order. Guess what?? They " lost" the script for the scan. I had to wait until 8 when the onc office opened to get them to fax a new script. Finally get to Ct dept and the tech tried to give me the wrong prep, and got indignant when I refused to drink it ( this after waiting 20 minutes for them to bring it to me). Finally get the prep down and the Ct machine broke. All patients taken to ER dept to use their machine. At 9:25 tech says I will be back for you at 10. At 10 she calls another patient and not me. My husband had to be at work at 11. At 10:30 she comes and asks me if I am ready ina very condescending tone. Let's just say that I didn't take that very well and some unpleasant things were said about the incompetence of people. My brother doesn't call me Mount Debbie for nothing...I erupt at times! Very very frustrating! I listened to the verbal report of the scan ( have a phone # I'm not supposed to have). Looks like the only thing new is an area on my left kidney of decreased blood flow. Says could be infection, a new mass, , inflammation. Dr Google says could be caused by too much ingestion of NSAID meds. I have been taking ALOT of Ibuprofen lately for my bad knee. Guess I'll wait and see what the onc says. Lungs and liver clear, bone Mets stable with no increased or new areas.

Minnie31

Lynnwood, hoping you get than scan, and everything is fine.

MJH, doing fine in sunny Spain. Like you I am feeling better and stronger than I have in a long time. 18 months since MBC diagnosis. Hip pain not so bad. Going to see my grandkids in Scotland next week. Eldest celebrating his 11th birthday this week. Where does the time go. I'm just 60, so understand I do admire your energy.

Mae, hope you are taking it easy, cos I don't think you are a take it easy kinda girl!! Admire that too!

Micmel, stay away from negative people. We do not need them in our lives. You can only do so much, sometimes you have to step back and let someone else worry about it.

My best loving thoughts and prayers are with you all. X

Blueshine

Lynwood, sorry for the problems with the insurance I had similar situation,but with Xgeva. They denied it ,because I should have been trying first Zometa. So I did and have horrible SE. I personally called the insurance and told them that my blood pressure dropped dramatically the next morning. The following week received the apruval for Xgeva. Explain what the MO said and don't give up. I know you don't need this stress now, but taking your mind somewhere else will help you maybe with anxiety. I'll keep you in my prayers and hope you don't have progression

Love. Elena

Blueshine

Minnie, so good to hear that your pain is not too bad and you will be celebrating the 11th birthday of your grandson in Scotland. Hopefully the weather will be sunny like in Spain.

Gracie, I am in a organizing, cleaning mood too. After my DD sold their hous , the next one is ours. The less we have the easier the moving will be. Actually I am not sure about ease, we have to move to Columbus, which is 2 hours from us. I like to be busy, because I don't have time to think about me.

Prayers for healing to all of you,my dear friends Elena

Micmel

Lynnwood~ lets just say that's not a bad report. Now they will watch that spot. I take Percocet everyday not over the daily limits, but I do take it. I was hoping it would stay in the bone sooooo much! Thanks for sharing. Maybe you can take a breath for a little while? My scans start early May. What a wonderful experience!!! NOT! Grrrrr, it all Sucks,,, but many hugs to you!

50sgirl

Lynnwood, it sounds like your scan experience was nothing but one problem after another today. What a morning you had. I would call it a comedy of errors, but there was nothing funny about it. I hope the kidney issue turns out to be nothing of significance. How soon will you get the official results from your MO? It sounds like everything else looks good. WOOHOO! I hope you had a relaxing afternoon after your stressful, frustrating morning. Did you take time to unwind, have a nice cup of tea or coffee, a glass of wine perhaps? Did you compose a letter or email detailing how your experience made you feel? Although the problem with the scanner couldn't have been predicted, the behavior of the staff sounds rude and inappropriate. I hope you have a better evening.

MJH, When will you sister arrive? Does she live far from you? Does she visit often? Sisters share a special bond. Enjoy your time with her.

Lynne, I hope you are having fun at Disney World. The time is probably going by quickly while you are there.

Tanya, Your granddaughter is beautiful and sounds so sweet. You are so blessed to live close to your family members. It must be wonderful to see your grandchildren often.

Mae, I hope you are still feeling well.

Bigbhome, I am keeping you and your DH in my heart and prayers. How does he feel about the upcoming surgery? Does he share he concerns with you or keep his feelings to himself?

The weather here was beautiful today. It was warm and sunny. My DH and I had dinner on the deck. The bugs aren't out yet, so it is nice to take advantage of that short window of opportunity. Tomorrow will be cool and rainy.

Hello to everyone else. You are all in my thoughts.

Hugs and prayers from, Lynne

GracieM2007

Well my cleaning has come to an abrupt halt. I fell off the ladder. Took 400 mg. Of Inuprofen and am in the recliner just waiting to see how much damage I might have done

Blueshine

Oh, Gracie, I hope nothing serious! Last week I was painting cealings, up and down the leader. Obviously I was looking for trouble. It's hard to change,but we have to.

Lynnwood, your report sounds very good! Maybe there is nothing to worry about the kidney!

Gentle hugs to all Elena

Tanya_Djamila

Micmel

You certainly didn’t offend me in any way ever. My dear friend is very articulate and educated but when she gets pushed to a point she can cuss worse than a truck driver. Sometimes it’s that shock value that wakes people up and then they realize they crossed a line.

Your predicament is complicated by the neighbor thing, daughter thing etc. I’m sure you’ll set her straight when you get ready if you want to.

Have a good evening all.

Tanya

illimae

Good evening all, I am well and back to work today, although, I noticed some minor memory issues this time My previous mets were all in the cerebellum but this time I had one lesion in each right and left frontal lobe, where attention, memory, etc are housed. It’s barely noticeable and hopefully temporary but I’m annoyed at not being as sharp as usual.

Micmel

Gracie~OMG.... 😔 none of us can catch a break. If you're in pain keep a close eye on it. Don't let it go too long of it does hurt. I know we tend to be tough. I'm so sorry. You sounded really content with the progress you're making in there. The MOs first question, is have you fallen? Ugh!!! Please let us know. Goodness gracious! Hugs to you my friend.

Tanya~ I'm glad I didn't offend you either. I just realize sometimes I can get annoyed by people and I let it out. You guys make it safe. This is our safe place for whatever we may need to let out! Thanks for reminding me!

Mae~ give yourself day by day to recover... I hope that the memory issues are only from the temporary swelling. Keep track of it. Thinking of you darling.

Bigbhome? You ok sweetheart, thinking of you and DH everyday!

Much love to all ~M~

Lynnwood1960

Gracie, hope you're ok!! Thank you all for your kind words of support! Scan days make me on edge to say the least and today was just one thing after another. I came home and had a nice cup of coffee and a piece of lemon cake. One of my friends came over to sit with me, she knows I will just keep dialing the number over and over until the report is loaded, and we always have a good laugh about it. She is my scan buddy and usually always goes with me but my husband wanted to go this time. I was touched that she came to be with me, she is a busy single Mom, and also a nurse . I should hear from my onc tomorrow, she is great about calling with scan results. The kidney thing has me stumped but as long as it's not a met I won't fret much.

GracieM2007

I think I’m going to be ok but am going to hurt like heck for a while! Thanks to everyone for caring👍

Blueshine

Good morning, beautiful ladies! Today is one precious day of our life, enjoy it no matter what!

Gracie, thanks God its not too bad.

Love to all. Elena

Blueshine

keetmom

Oh no Gracie I hope you are OK.

Spring is finally here in WI, week off chemo so making the most of it.

Lynnwood1960

Onc is calling scan stable cancer wise. Lungs and liver clear, bones stable. She and the radiologist reviewed my scans together to look at the new area on my left kidney. Onc says kidney is normal in size, no swelling, no formed cyst or mass seen. Kidney function bloodwork is perfect. Radiologist feels this is inflammation. Onc says could be caused by excessive use of NSAIDs and I have been swallowing way too many ibuprofen on top of the meloxicam that I take daily. Onc says to stop taking both. Plan is to get an mri in 4 weeks to see if this area is gone. Still not sure if I’m relieved or concerned.

50sgirl

Lynnwood, I vote for relieved. The kidneys are workhorses but are sensitive to certain things since they are tasked with filtering impurities from our blood. It is a fact that NSAIDs can cause kidney inflammation. For that reason, people with kidney problems are instructed to never take them. If your MO and the radiologist were overly concerned, they would insist on further testing immediately. (I know this from personal experience. I have been a regular visitor to my urologist's office since my first CT scan almost 3 years ago showed wonky stuff going on in my kidneys. Nothing similar to yours though.) Although waiting can be hard for us, sometimes it just makes sense since time can give a better insight into a situation. What I really want to say is, try not to worry. Please don't imagine the worst, instead assume the best. The blood tests show nothing out of the ordinary. You feel good. Have another piece of lemon cake. That sounds delicious to me, btw. I think I might have drooled when I read that you had a piece. My DH isn't fond of lemon desserts. I love them, but I never make the because I would have to eat it all myself. Take a few deep breaths and remember the good news on your scan. Lungs and liver clear. Bones stable. Kidney is normal size, no swelling, no formed mass. Excellent news!

Hugs and prayers from, lynn

Micmel

For now I choose relief sweetheart! Just back off of all non essential supplements and Tylenol based products. I want to wrap my arms around you. You've have a rough week. 🌷 good results though congrats my friend !

~M~

50sgirl

Just so people don't get confused. Tylenol is not a NSAID. I think that it (Tylenol)is metabolized in the liver rather than the kidneys. Ibuprofen, naproxen, and aspirin productsare the most commonly used NSAIDs. My DH has chronic kidney disease, and I am allergic to ibuprofen, so we only have acetaminophen such as Tylenol in the house.