Anyone just dx so numb with fear there are no tears?

finallyoverit

I have no words.. scared out of my mind. It's so surreal that I haven't even had a good cry. This has all happened at warp speed and I have not been able to wrap my brain around it.

Kandy

So sorry you had to join this unique group. It is very overwhelming at first. After you get a treatment plan in place and some time goes by, you will adjust and figure out life continues on. You will find this group very knowledgeable and willing to help, plus will be friends with you and support you all the way cause we all truly understand. If you are not on anxiety or antidepressant drugs, I would strongly recommend them. It is very overwhelming, especially at first and I believe we all need something to help even us out. I wish you the best. Take time to enjoy the moment.

ElleOnWheels

Hi finallyoverit.....

I am right there with you, except I feel like all I do is cry. I was diagnosed exactly 2 weeks ago today and still can't wrap my head around it. So many dr appt, scans, questions, FEAR. I start radiation today for "severe" metastatic disease in my neck that is causing double vision. It is so overwhelming I can barely make myself get out of bed.

I am on zoloft...I was before the diagnosis and they immediately upped my dose.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It's all we can do.

Sending you much love and support.

E

Moderators

Finallyoverit and ElleOnWheels,

We're so sorry you're here and dealing with such overwhelming news. However, you've found the best place for support, advice, answers, and inspiration -- we have many, many Stage IV members here who are living full, happy lives after diagnosis. You're sure to hear from more of them soon, like Kandy, who are always so willing to lend an ear or supportive word to newbies.

For more information, you may want to check out the main Breastcancer.org site's section on Recurrent and Metastatic Breast Cancer. There's great info on treatment options, as well as getting emotional support and managing fear around this diagnosis, and day-to-day life tips.

We hope this helps and please know we are all here to support you! Please come back often, share and ask questions.

((((BIG HUGS))))

--The Mods

pajim

Finallyoverit & Elle, welcome to one of the most exclusive clubs in the world -- and one that no one wants to join. Only the best ladies get in you know.

The first few weeks/months are really hard. The fear, anxiety, the unknown, the life changes. . .We've all been there. I promise you however, that is WILL get better. Really it will. It'll take some time.

Once your radiation is over and you start treatment things will calm down. They won't ever be the same, but life can return to 'somewhat' normal.

There's a thread Life does not End with a Stage IV Diagnosis (Really)! I encourage you to peruse it.

In the meantime if you aren't sleeping, ask your doc for sleeping pills. More anti-depressants to anti-anxiety meds. It's not necessarily forever (I took sleeping pills for three months) but it will help you get over the hump. Better living through chemistry.

Bestbird

I am so glad you have found this forum although I'm terribly sorry for the circumstances that brought you here.

The initial weeks and months after a mets diagnosis are the hardest. Dealing with the shock and fear can be very difficult. But as others have said, over time it gets a bit easier, and you'll find many people who are doing well with a good quality of life!

If it's possible, have the met(s) biopsied to see what their estrogen (ER), Progesterone (PR) and HER2 status are, since they may differ from the original cancer (if you were previously diagnosed). If the cancer is ER+ and/or PR+, then the oncologist should be considering hormonal treatment, and if it's HER2+ then Herceptin and Perjeta may be considered along with a Taxane. Additionally, you may want to request testing to see whether the tumor has Androgen Receptors (AR), since there are some promising clinical trials that target Androgen Receptors in a similar manner as current hormonal therapy targets Estrogen Receptors (ER).

Even if you are hormone receptor negative (ER- and PR-) you may still consider hormonal therapy according to the latest (2014) National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN) Guidelines, "Patients may be candidates for hormonal therapy irrespective of their hormone receptivity status, provided that their cancer is in the bones, soft tissue (muscle, fat or nerves), or internal organs and is not causing symptoms. The reason for suggesting hormonal therapy is because sometimes the metastasis is indeed hormone receptor positive and the actual test results are incorrect. (This represents a major shift in thinking regarding potential therapies for TNBC and hormone receptor negative patients). From: http://www.nccn.org/patients/guidelines/stage_iv_breast/index.html#33/z

This is very important: Please remember to keep copies of all tests results and scans in case there eventually is a need or desire to have a second opinion from a specialist outside your medical network.

You may also want to seek a second opinion at any point about treatment.

I've compiled a 130+ ]page booklet about Metastatic Breast Cancer treatments, side effect mitigation, and cutting edge research regarding the disease.You are welcome to request a complimentary copy by visiting the top of this page: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/831507?page=3#idx_73

Two published books which you may want to read are:

"Anti Cancer: A New Way of Life" by Dr. David Servain-Schreiber.The author, an MD, was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor which he survived for nearly 20 years by following the science-based principles described in his book.It contains excellent information about diet and supplements, as well as emotional well-being.

"Life Over Cancer" by Dr. Keith Block, an expert in integrative oncology who combines cutting-edge conventional treatment with individualized and scientifically-based complementary therapies.This book is an excellent resource for those who are interested in combining conventional and complementary therapies.

Please post if you have questions, and wishing you a great outcome!

illimae

I'm a big ole cry baby and getting the news is very hard (dxd stage IV de novo at age 41) but it gets better. At first I thought I might be dead in a year and told my husband he could get remarried, an extreme over reaction on my part but once I had some answers and a plan I got my sanity back. I just finished chemo, work mostly full time and am making plans for the future.