Newly diagnosed at 42

toughcookie_21

About a month ago, I noticed an indentation / dimple on my right breast, but there was no palpable lump. I told my husband about it and said I'd bring it up to the OB/Gyn at my next annual appointment in June as I've had one normal mammogram when I was 41 (about a year ago) and no other symptoms/concerns. A social media post about dimpling of the breast kept showing up on my newsfeed, so I scheduled a diagnostic mammogram at a local breast imaging center. They didn't see anything conclusive on the mammogram but did an ultrasound right away where they noticed "an area of concern." They then did an ultrasound guided needle biopsy and took three samples.

I received the call today that it is Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Nuclear Grade 3, 1.8 cm x .61 cm. I was so sure that it was going to be benign, so the call completely caught me off guard. I think I'm most concerned about the Grade 3, but I'm aware that there are additional tests that need to be run and I won't have a complete picture until my appointment with the surgical oncologist on Tuesday. If I could, I'd meet with him today and have any surgery immediately.

I haven't really told very many people, so I'm mostly just posting this because I feel like I need to get it off my chest... My husband, parents and my boss are all that know as of now. I had to tell my boss because I left work abruptly today and I was scheduled for a business trip next week that I need to cancel.

I'm curious how others have worked through their diagnosis and treatment. I am confident that my husband will take care of our children and the house won't be too neglected, but I work in a very demanding field with frequent business travel. Ironically, I work for a medical device company that manufactures and sells products that diagnose, stage and treat lung, pancreatic and GI cancer. I read technical reports and white papers on cancer on a daily basis and I work very closely with doctors who are the best in their field. It's either better or unfortunate that my company's specialty is not breast cancer. I haven't quite decided yet.

mustlovepoodles

I'm sorry you find yourself a member of this unfortunate club. It sounds like things are actually moving along pretty quickly.  Breast cancer is relatively slow-growing, so a wait of 6 days isn't going to change anything for you.  Try to resist making quick decisions during this time. You need time to digest all this. Listen to the oncologist and don't be afraid to get a second opinion if you need to . Lots of us have. I did (the first one was a fool and no way was I going to embark on a long-term relationship with someone I didn't trust.)

I'd been an RN for 38 years when I was diagnosed in 2015. I know how to read research and I know how to determine legitimate sources.  I did a lot of research online, which was very helpful to me. When I went to the first onc, I already knew what I needed. When he didn't agree, I moved on. The second onc took one look at my stats, my horrible family medical tree, and exclaimed, "FIRST, you need chemo. THEN, you need to get rid of those breasts--they are going to be a problem for the next 25 years. And then you need a hysterectomy." I wasn't at all surprised. Knowing that my tumor was 1.9cm, PR-, Grade 3, I had fully expected chemo and BMX. The fact that I have 2 serious gene mutations which cause breast cancer was just icing on the cake. She took it to the tumor board and they unanimously recommended chemo + BMX + hyst.  I started chemo 2 weeks later (I had a business trip that HAD to be done.)

As for your job, you'll just have to see what the onc suggests. Some people can work full-time during treatment, some cant. I was able to work part-time, limiting my business trips to every 3rd week after chemo (I felt pretty normal that week.) As for managing my household, I didn't have young children, so that was helpful. My Sunday School class pitched in and delivered meals 2-3 times a week--I couldn't manage grocery shopping or cooking during chemo, most days.  I did almost no house cleaning and for a while it looked like a pack of wolves had been living in there.

As for anxiety, it's completely normal during this period.  Once you get a plan in place you will feel a sense of control that you just don't have right now. Until then, try to occupy your hands. I find that when my hands are busy, my mind will not perseverate on worries.  I cleaned house, did yard work, sewed, made blankets, and volunteered with a group that works with battered women (now there's something that will get your mind off your own worries!)  I did not exercise much because I had a very bad knee. Plus, I find that when I walk or work out or do any repetitive things, I sort of get in the zone and I will worry about all kinds of things. Just what I was trying to avoid!   A lot of us find that we need a bit of medication to help us through this. I found that I only needed it at night, when I couldn't turn off my brain and I'd be awake for hours perseverating on my situation. Mr Xanax took care of that. 

Falconer

tough cookie, sorry that you are here. You'll find lots of good support here so don't forget to ask. Holding you in the light during this difficult time.

LovebeingNana

Toughcookie I love your name!! You can do this. I remember those first days after diagnosis. It was very scary. My people on these boards told me it would get better once the Doctors gave me a plan and they were right. Try to take it one day at a time. It is easy to get overwhelmed and think too far ahead. Staying in today was one of the best things to help give me peace. I also took Ativan to help me sleep for a couple months. Hang in there.

Momine

Good for you for taking action! Grade 3 is scary in a way, but it also means that the cancer is more vulnerable to chemo. The waiting is horrible and it will feel like a crazy rollercoaster for a few weeks, but you will get through this. Let us know what the onc and the further testing have to say.

DodgersGirl

tough cookie - after initial DX, the part that I was least prepared for was the testing that needs to be done before treatment can start. (I am having chemo first, then surgery, then rads). For the first 2 weeks it seemed like I had 2-3 doctor appointments. Missed more work then than I have since starting chemo in April. Had to meet my new breast oncology surgeon, my medical oncologist, my radiological oncologist.... then chest X-ray, echo heart test, back to ultra sound to have another tumor marker placed for BS, infusaport installed for chemo, follow up she with MO to design a plan.

As others had stated, once you have a plan for your path, you should seem more in control and ready to handle whatever comes your way one day at a time.....

This site is so full of support and great sharing of what to expect and ways to handle this journey....also a place to ask questions that maybe you don't want t your family to know you are concerned about and a place to vent when needed