I think it's back in my bones (but not sure)

SolarSister

Hi, I really need your advice. This is dark. I had a bone scan today as I've had a stubborn pain in my left shoulder for a while. Been in remission from ER+ breast cancer since 2012.

Something definitely showed up on the scans today, something on my right ribs. They asked me if I've had trauma to my ribs. I haven't. They took a couple more scans than usual.

I haven't talked to my oncologist yet and probably have to wait till Monday. The radiology staff wouldn't say anything of course, other than what their faces told me. The scan has to be analysed by an oncologist.

I don't even know what my question is. I'm in shock. Don't know how I will even be able to sleep or pass these days of waiting. I have two kids, 9 and 12. I just turned 40.

I'm sure it's mets. How could it not be? But why do I have pain on the left side? They did no extra scans on the left side, only the right side where I don't feel any pain. Well now my whole body aches. Any experience? Anyone had something similar that actually didn't turn out to me mets (doesn't matter, this must be it in my case)

Sorry for any misspellings, I'm Swedish

Emily2008

Ugh! I'm so sorry for this limbo you're in now.

It's possible that the pain in your left shoulder has nothing to do with what they're seeing on your right ribs. So, worse case scenario, there are mets on the the right ribs and something completely unrelated to cancer in your left shoulder. But, you don't know for sure anyway, so as much as possible, try to not assume the worst. I know this is very hard to do!

As you know, you have no option but to wait it out. I always try to find something to distract me in the days that I wait, especially when it involves the weekend. I would suggest that you try to call your onc on Friday, just in case there's something they can tell you one way or another.

Big hugs! Keep us posted.

NancyHB

SolarSister - so sorry you find yourself here. Scans can show lots of things that turn out to be everything but bone mets. We were convinced I had mets to my L2 and L3 because consecutive CTs (4 months apart) showed fairly large lesions. Went for a bone scan and - nothing there. Next CT scan - nothing. No one can really tell me what happened, but it didn't matter because that same bone scan revealed mets on my ribs - lesions on both right and left. Even then, they seem confident that one of the lesions is a healing fracture (and I'm certain I've never had trauma to that area). CT confirmed the mets. I have never had any pain with any of these lesions, so for now we wait and watch.

Rib lesions can't be easily biopsied; it requires removing part of the rib and comes with the risk of lung puncture and collapse. My oncologist refuses to do the biopsy for now, says I've had enough scans to confirm the mets but we'll wait until something pops up somewhere else that is easier to biopsy.

It's still possible that what they've found is something other than mets. Please let us know what you find out.

SolarSister

Thanks for getting back to me and trying to calm me down. This is torture. I'm falling apart. I only managed to sleep between 1 and 4 o'clock, it's early morning in Sweden now. Family is sleeping. My husband had a hard time calming down last night too, but he's sleeping now. The kids have no idea. This is going to ruin them. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 20, my kids are too small.

I'm experiencing what probably is severe anxiety? Woke up and felt like I had stopped breathing, like I was already dying. I don't know anything yet. It could be my whole body, not only my bones. I talked to my boss yesterday and she knows what's going on. In no shape of working. My dad is coming up from our summerhouse. He's 78. So sorry he has to go through this.

How do you get through something like this? I'm hoping I can get my oncologist to prescribe some pills to get me by. Did you get any drugs to help youcope?

I just can't believe it's nothing. Of course it's something

sbelizabeth

SolarSister, I'm so sorry you're enduring this worry. I'm sorry you're reeling and over the top anxious. Reaching out from California with gentle hugs.

After I was diagnosed my onc prescribed lorazepam to help when I got "the shivers" (my husband's term for when I could not stop shaking and crying). Zolpidem to help with insomnia issues. Please call your doctor as soon as the office opens and ask for prescriptions. You are going through a scary time and that's what these medications are for.

Hang in there. Come talk to us when you need more light in your eyes. And keep putting one foot in front of the other. One day at a time.

sbelizabeth

SolarSister, my husband spent a month in Sweden, working in place of a colleague who was on a lengthy vacation. He loved it there. He brought back the practice of "fika," the mid-morning coffee break to chat and laugh with others in the office. They were very thoughtful--choosing to converse in English instead of Swedish so he would feel more at home.

SolarSister

to all of you. Is there a specific thread on how waiting for results and limbo anxiety? This is just unbearable. Have to wake my kids soon.

Hopeful82014

SolarSister, so very sorry you're dealing with this. Do ask about Ativan (aka lorazepam). It can be a huge help.

There is a thread you might find helpful, titled "Crazy Town." It's in the 'Growing our friendships after treatment section' and currently shows up on the second page of the Active Topics. I hope that helps at least a little bit. Hang in there.

SolarSister

TH

SolarSister

My doc called. No mets. I was so sure, my head was spinning. Thank you all

dtad

Yeah!!! So happy for you...

stephilosphy00

Yay！Congrats！

Hopeful82014

Wow! What a relief! So happy for you.

Nancy2581

Hooray - so happy for you

Nancy

SolarSister

Thank you so much! Feeling very soft today, kinda brittle. So relieved and at the same time so sad for my bc sisters who didn't have the same luck I did yesterday.

When I first got diagnosed and connected with other young women in my situation here in Sweden, I got this image of us sitting round a table of Russian roulette. We all knew that statistically one or two of us where going to get hit again. I can't believe it wasn't me this time. And it felt so real, I was so sure, and now I just really want to help my bcsisters and don't know how.