Working vs not working vs disability....Help

Anonymous

Working vs not working vs disability....Help

LisaL1005

Hi all,

I am newly diagnosed stage 4 at age 45. At age 30 I had my first round with breast cancer (stage 2). It has come back after 15 years. I'm currently working full-time but out on short term disability. How does one decide whether to work or not? I'm struggling with this as I have so many doctor appointments, CAT scans and unknown medical things in my future that I'm not sure mentally I can commit to working.

And the disability thing is confusing me. I understand my short term disability will turn into (?) long term disability if I'm out longer than the short term disability time period, but should I be going on family medical leave now? I understand that this will hold my position at work so they can't lay me off. But then when do I apply for social security disability - only when I'm not working anymore?

Thanks for any advice!

Lisa L

pajim

Hi Lisa! Welcome to the club. So pleased and sorry to meet you.

Once you get through the initial round of tests and you start a treatment plan, life will calm down for you. Promise. So don't make any irrevocable decisions for a couple of months.

Whether to work or not is a personal decision. There are ladies here who quit immediately to spend more time with their kids. There are others who work full or part time. I suspect it depends on what your job is. Myself, I work full-time. I love my job, they're really great about providing the time and flexibility I need for treatment, and I simply can't stay at home. I'd be bored out of my skull. [Not to mention the fact that I'm the health insurance provider for my small household]

As for disability, you should read your company's policies. They're hard to digest, but I've read mine. Normally short-term disability lasts for six months. If during/after that time you cannot return to work, you move to long-term disability. In my case, should that happen, the LTD insurance company will require me to apply to the Social Security Administration for disability through them. As I understand it, a diagnoses of metastatic cancer is an automatic 'yes you are disabled'. There is a very good thread in the Finance & Employment Forum. An employment lawyer was answering people's questions. FMLA is totally different. That is unpaid leave and assumes you will be coming back to work.

Other ladies will come along who know better how this all works.

Once again, welcome!

Lynnwood1960

LisaL, welcome but so sorry you have to be here. I work full time, I need the money and the health insurance. I did take short term disability when first re diagnosed, had 6 months off. My 12 weeks of family medical leave was counted in my short term disability so I basically used it all for the year during that time. I have the option of long term disability but opted to go back to work. As pajam says, do not make any non reversible decisions just yet. Once you get your treatment plan going things will settle down, Cancer is covered under the ADA so they must allow you off work for appointments. Make sure your employer is aware that you know what your rights are..some companies/ employers will not volunteer this information.

Tina2

Lisa,

At the risk of sounding like a parrot, I will echo Pajim and Lynnwood's excellent advice: make no irrevocable decisions until you are well into following a treatment plan and your life settles down into a new routine, which it will. The first months after getting our scary diagnoses are crazily busy and nerve-wracking. Your brain is spinning. You won't really know which end is up or what you can and can't do until you experience this "new normal" for few months.

Hang in and see how it goes. And, in the meantime, come here for support and friendship.

Tina

Fitztwins

I had LTD through my employer. (STD usually last 12 weeks)....So with SSD and LTD I am receiving 60% of my salary. I worked for 2 years with METS and then took the plunge almost 7 years ago. I really hadn't expected to be living 9 years with mets!!

I have spent a lot of time traveling, raising my kids,(they are sophmores), go on lunches with friends,shopping, doing my hobby, etc... I look at it as my RETIREMENT. It is less stressful not working and trying to run a household with children. My boys were in 3rd when I made the choice. Sure, If I stayed working we would be better of $, but there are somethings money can't buy. I did love my job, but my employer wouldn't give me 5 weeks of vacation (I asked for that instead of a raise) and I was passed over for a promotion, I thought f-it. No loyality and my husband has our family insurance. In two years I qualified for Medicare.

This year I have a lot of fatigue from the meds I am on.... I am so glad I don't work. I nap daily. I also am fighting a 2nd fracture in my femur.

Just my two cents. It took me forever to decide. No regrets for the most part

Good luck with your decision!

Janis

pwilmarth

I took STD and applied for SSDI at the same time. Health insurance should not be an issue. You are eligible for Medicaid and if you meet income requirements you can opt the buy-in for Medicaid. My health insurance was free until I started receiving SSDI. Then I opted for Medicaid buy-in which costs $130 per month. Once you have SSDI you can participate in back to work programs. Right now I work 4 hours a week.

I will be eligible for Medicare this year and it will cost the same for Part B as I am paying for Medicaid. Really, both government programs are better than the programs offered by employers or Obama care. I would probably stick with Medicaid but there's too much uncertainty with Trump and his healthcare plans. As soon as I am eligible, I will switch to Medicare which should happen in a next 6 months

Kandy

I think this decision is so individualized, depends on your own situation and what kind of job you have. I also took STD, then went long term. When you haven't worked for 5 months that is when you can be approved for SS disability. I was in the medical field, requiring me to walk a lot, move patients, plus the mental strain. There was no way I could physically do my job anymore, before I got my stage 4 diagnosis it had became nearly impossible for me to make it through my 3, 12 hour shifts. So, when I found out I was stage 4, I went out and never went back. I do miss my job, and especially the interaction with my coworkers, but for me it was an easy decision since I could no longer do it. So while you are out on STD, think about it and decide what is best for you. Wishing you the best

exbrnxgrl

I agree with all of the above. Don't make a long term decision just yet. I was on medical leave for about 3 1/2 months. I belong to a union, so per our contract, I received full salary until I used up all of my accrued sick days (we never lose them) and then received short term disability. I was so bored eventually, that I couldn't wait to return to work. I love my job. It is a calling for me and gives me great purpose as well as intellectual stimulation. But, I have few home responsibilities as my children are grown and have their own families. I am almost 61 years old and hoping to hold on until 65. I hope I remain physically well enough to do so. Good luck to you

txmom

Hi, you should check out Kelli Parker's page on FB. She just posted about disability.  It might be helpful for you.  I agree that it is individualized and you need to do what is right for you.  Personally, I'm thinking of getting my teaching cert and teaching high school.  Crazy.  I know.  I feel pretty good and I'm not able to travel and such because I have 3 teenagers at home.  I think you need to do what will make you happy and have no regrets.  Don't look back.  XO

MinusTwo

Thanks to everyone who posts on BCO. Some of us, like me, do not do Facebook at all. I'm grateful for those who continue to interact here.

JFL

I also agree with the others, it is a personal decision and you should wait to see how things shake out, both physically and mentally.

I had no idea what was going to happen when I was diagnosed with mets at 38 (like you, dx'd with stage 2 at 30). I was out for 3 months upon mets dx for maternity leave. I was in terrible shape due to very advanced bone mets and could barely walk, couldn't go from a standing to sitting position or vice versa without major assistance/upper body support, felt like my arms were going to break holding my tiny preemie. However, I slowly but surely improved significantly over those three months and went back to my full time job and have not missed a full day of work due to mets for the 2.5 years since then. I didn't know if I would ever be able to run again but within a year, I was running 4 miles 3 days a week.

I always thought I would quit my job if something like this devastating dx happened. However, I have found my desire to work (and move up the ranks) is stronger than ever (I think some sort of mental need to feel like I haven't given up on myself since I have a baby to raise for as many years as I can squeak out. . . and I get to feel and live a "normal" life at work and keep my mind busy on other things). I am not sure how long this ambitious stage will last. It could change over night. One just never knows how things will end up.

So hang in there. The right decision for you will materialize at some point. No need to rush to a decision now.

Moderators

Hi all,

Just popping in here with some helpful information from the main Breastcancer.org site's Recurrent and Metastatic Breast Cancer section on Working After a Recurrent or Metastatic Breast Cancer Diagnosis.

We hope you find this information helpful!

--The Mods

Ronnie3001

Fitztwins,

I have been struggling with the decision to on go LTD and leave my job. I just read your post and it gives hope that my decision to leave is a good one. I like your thinking early retirement! I have worked for my company 28 years!

Ronnie

MustangIA

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I have been on STD three different times over the last 6 years since my MBC dx - went on LTD for approximately 3 months in late 2015/early 2016. I have gone back every time saying "Next progression, I am done" - I keep moving that line - had progression just about 6 weeks ago and I have continued to work as I am doing oral chemo - now my timeline is I am giving it 3 months to see how I do on this treatment. I guess all of that rambling is to say - it is hard to make that choice and one you can't go into lightly. My oncologist said it best - don't make a decision out of fear and emotion. So, 5 weeks later, one round of Ibrance/arimidex later, I am working. Everyone is very wise in that you just need to do what is best for you. Only you will know when that day is and there is no right or wrong answer. I am getting closer and closer to deciding to "retire" and actually enjoy my life for however long that may be, but again - not quite there yet. I am 48. Best of luck to you!

stagefree

Dear Lisa,

I ditto all that's been said.. and can't offer any ideas on the tech point of your options.

Life is short, for everyone, but now we the metsters know it for real! Work is for earning money at the bottom line. If you are not obliged to, why devote your precious moments in an office to earn some more money which will not really change your living conditions?

I was 36 when retired, closed down my business the day after dx. I have been enjoying the daily sunshine, sitting at a coffeshop, meeting with friends.. can do whatever I want when I feel like it.. dx actually liberated me from what I believed my obligations were.. to live my life the way old retired people are supposed to (as I once believed)

Spending each sec with your loved ones has no price.,

Trust me, no job is a hobby..

Also, as much as a job environment could offer, no job is stress free. Cancer feeds on stress, why take the risk?

Well, I know you already are well aware of all this, but reading as a reminder doesn't hurt

Love&hugs

Ebru

stagefree

Btw I started selling my stuff and later buy/sell online after closing my biz.. as a hobby. I devote all the income from that to the tuitions of a couple of poor kids I picked. Now, that is a hobby, my friend, with a purpose soo fulfillllng

artistatheart

I struggle with this as well but have decided to take it day by day. On one hand I would love to do as Fitz and Ebru have and enjoy the world more, feel the sunshine, work on my many hobbies. On the other, I carry our insurance and the income helps tremendously. Also I would miss interacting with my co-workers and the work keeps my mind off of my situation to a certain degree. But then again......I feel like I am wasting my life working behind a desk. BUT! I don't want to put the burden all on my husbands shoulders....So in other words I have NO idea what to do. I don't want to wait until I am too sick to enjoy the time I have definitely earned.

NancyHB

artist, I struggle with the same conflicts. I carry the insurance, make half our income, and frankly, am responsible for the crushing student loan debt we have. 😔 I don't feel I can stop working until the last possible moment, without financially devastating my DH - and he doesn't deserve that. He has supported me unwaveringly for 5+ years - the only way I can think to thank him is to make his life as easy as possible when I'm no longer here.

Ronnie3001

TXmom,

There are several Kelli Parker on FB, can you point me to the right person? I am interested in her post on disability.

Thanks much,

Ronnie

Laurie09

"Whether to work or not is a personal decision. There are ladies here who quit immediately to spend more time with their kids. There are others who work full or part time. I suspect it depends on what your job is. Myself, I work full-time. I love my job, they're really great about providing the time and flexibility I need for treatment, and I simply can't stay at home. I'd be bored out of my skull."

^This. It really is a personal decision about whether you have other things you want to focus on, whether you can afford to quit, how disabled you are. I work full time as well. Sometimes I wish I could cut back on my hours, but overall I am grateful I have a place to go to every day. Somedays I wake up and am stressed/afraid because of my disease, and then once I get to work, I feel normal again. For me I think it is healthy right now for me to be working. There probably will come a time when I can't work. I also know there are people more severely affected than me who can't work.

KC1010

hi, there. Can you please help me find the Finance and Employment forum? I'm trying to decide if o will go back to work after my STD leave. I'm newly diagnosed (January) with mets to sternum, pelvis, liver, and spleen. We have a 5 year old daughter, and I'm thinking I should spend as much time with my family as possible. Thank you.

Kandy

Can you click on the list of different forums. Go to day to day matters. There is a thread there on employment and financial issues.

Lumpie

Posting this to several threads: I wanted to encourage other MBC'ers to check out and share workplace stories at this new discussion:

MBC and Your Job -- what's your story?

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/...

Interesting thread!