How much help will I need?

MnEM1108

Hello all! I am just starting my journey, but I'm trying to get an idea of how much help I'll need during recovery from my mastectomy and then during chemo. I know everyone is different, so I'm just looking for some idea. For example, should I hire a maid for recovery and chemo? My husband cannot be counted on for much more than dishes! If so, should I have them help with laundry and other daily items in addition to weekly cleaning? Will I need to arrange for my kids to have rides home from school and to after school activities during chemo? I know after the mastectomy I'll have to arrange rides until I'm cleared and have enough movement/control. But on my worst days of chemo am I likely to be able to concentrate enough to drive safely?

Any input you all have to offer is greatly appreciated! I have so many people happy to help, so I'd love to start having a better idea of what I might need other than meals! Many, many thanks to all of you!! I look forward to being on the other side of this journey and able to help newbies like me get through!

Wildplaces

Everyone is different but as a general rule I think it helps to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Surgery wise - 3 days in hospital and able to drive by day 10 but I am small framed with small breasts and fairly ok physical condition.

Some ladies were able to schedule their chemo end week - recover over a long week/end and get back to work by the following week.

I would have struggled a lot with that.

I had 4 cycles of AC (2 weekly) each Monday am and was pretty wiped out for about 5 days of the cycle, able to do house type stuff by the w/end and drive from about the Tuesday the following week. Also for me cycle 3 and 4 were the worst - so the effect was cumulative.

The Taxol ( another 4 ) was much more manageable and could manage short drives from day 3 post infusion - still needed afternoon naps and lists of to do things - shocking concentration but functioned around the house. I would do an hour of activity then rest for 45 minutes or so and again....

Nausea, bone pain, hot flushes, constipation, and I managed to drop my HB despite Neulasta on Adriamycin ( so quite lethargic and actually short of breath on exertion for about 2 weeks).

Provided you have no allergies.

Nausea - dexamethasone, ondansetron, metoclopramide, ginger tea and dry chips

Bone pain - antihistamine - loratidine

Hot flushes - cold face wash, linen nighty, layer at night

Constipation - Movichol

Diarrhoea - Imodium

Reflux - Losec

All lots of fun 😱 but please ask at the centre and they should each have their own list of....

Yoghurt ( Greek natural ) for mouth ulcers or dab with sodium bicarbonate paste.

Use non perfumed creams your sense of smell is shot and plays awful tricks.

Biotene mouth wash and children toothpaste ( or one of those water flush machine things rather then hard toothbrush)

Drink lots of water!!!!

Have lots of showers - skin is a great detox organ.

Keep trying to walk a little each day.

All the best 😊

MnEM1108

Thank you a million times over! I, too, would rather plan for the worst and hope for the best. This gives me a much better idea of how to schedule! And I'd rather have people lined up to help and not need them than the other way around!! I will check with my Docs on all the meds you suggest for their recommendations. And an old coworker told me his wife always got IV fluids the day after treatment. I'm going to ask for this, too, since I struggle with dehydration on good days

Nel138281

I was sent home the day after MX.    I had a friend be the point person for coordinating anything and everyone I might need.  One less thing on my plate. I was divorced and did not want my then 13 year old daughter helping with showers or things other than typical stuff.  I had plans for a different friend every night for the first week.    I was out of the house about 3 days after surgery , with a friend driving, to do a little shopping. It was about 10 days before I drove when the drains were out. 

Chemo - I work 30 hours a week. I scheduled all treatment on Fridays, had the weekend to recover, but could also work from home.  Many naps!!! I was fortunate that I did not have much in the way of side effects. Hair loss, fatigue and a somewhat reduced appetite. 

Get a small pillow for the ride home..  It will help under the seatbelt strap.  Wedge pillows or a body pillow for sleeping were helpful.  Soft button down shirts, I used flannel.

Thoughts for now.

Nel

Denise-G

I was always able to drive and was never concerned for my safety even to and from chemo which was 120 miles round trip. I even taught my nephew to drive during chemo because I had promised him before cancer that I would, and I did. We still talk about the car maneuvers in the winter Ohio weather.

Now cleaning - that's another story. Always a neat freak, cleaning went by the wayside. My sister came and helped me clean and do laundry which was invaluable. Little did I know she would be diagnosed 2 years later and I returned the favor!

Mastectomy - I was told not to push grocery carts for 6 weeks after surgery! I needed help with groceries. Grocery stores are really challenging through the whole process

Sending all my best - you can do this!.

Wildplaces

absolutely check on the drugs - I am in Australia so there may be some prescribing differences

most chemo centres should offer

- an intro section on side effects - with a pharmacol section as to what to do about them

- a intro section on range of complementary services: yoga, psychology, " look good feel good" class about make up and wrap/wig/hair loss, nutrition, naturopath

( the bigger the centre the greater the range of services but if you know what you could benefit you, access them outside the centre if needed)

Generally report everything - medicos have come a long way in terms of treating side effects.

There is Hair Loss thread on BCO.

I cut mine very short. Lost it in one shower third cycle but I did mean to, I gave it a good rub - I hated having to pick up bits. I wrapped mostly - thin scarfes. Also had a synthetic wigg in exactly my prechemo haircut/color for outings with people who were not aware of my situation. No one noticed. Your eyebrows will thin considerably so search for a good pencil. Latisse ( Lumigan compound used for Glaucoma) applied to eyebrowse might hold them a little longer - you can google it if it is real priority for you or PM me.😊

meg2016

I think you have the right idea on the type of help you will need. For me, having a housekeeper was critical (partly just because I wanted to save extra energy for my kids). Having help with driving is also really nice in the first week after chemo. Its also great to have someone who is your point (or a couple people) for organizing help when you need it. Some examples would be if you get sick and you can't get a meal together or you have a worse cycle than normal and need someone to help out for a day or two, its great to have someone you can just call and say "this is what I need, would you be able to coordinate that for me". My biggest challenge wasn't having help available, it was having the energy to coordinate it when I needed it (because its hard to know in advance when you will really need it.) I had trouble thinking about food during the week after chemo, so having someone make food for the family was super helpful.

After surgery, I had my parents stay with us to help with the kids. That was the hardest part for me because there are just a thousand things you deal with every day with kids that I didn't think of but couldn't do until I had healed. If there is someone who could stay with you that would be ideal. If not, having meals, driving for at least the first 10-days post-surgery, and cleaning would be good.