This strange new world

ellmarlew

Hi, there. My name Ellen. I was diagnosed with breast cancer last month-- DCIS. I had a lumpectomy on Wednesday. My follow up appointment with my doctor, to see what the pathology says, margins are, and next steps might be is on Friday the 21st.

I am frightened and overwhelmed and sad and my breast hurts. What a strange new world this is, all doctors appointments and terrifying decisions and terrible uncertainty. I feel so very alone

Bluebirdgirl

Ellmarlew, welcome. You are not alone here! Sorry you are going through this. If you have any questions, just ask and I'm sure you will get answers. Lots of helpful and knowledgeable people here. <Hugs>

Emily2008

Big hugs, Ellen. You are NOT alone. We all understand where you are and have felt the same way. Just take it one day at a time. Write down questions as they come to you so you can ask your doctor everything. You can do this! It's a very scary time, but you're strong enough to face it.

Moderators

Hi Ellen,

Sending you our hugs and welcome to the boards.

We know it's not the place anyone wants to find themselves but hopefully you will feel supported by others. We know this must be such an overwhelming time for you getting your head around everything but as other members have said here you're not alone.

Please come back often and let us know how you're doing.

We'll be thinking of you

(Big Hugs)

The Mods.

MTwoman

Hi Ellen,

You have found a wonderful community who understand your feelings of being frightened, overwhelmed and sad. You are NOT alone, however. We have been there and will be here for you. Just know that it gets better!

Do you have questions? How can we help you?

Sending healing energy and ((hugs))

ellmarlew

thank you for your kind thoughts. I am feeling physically better today, from the lumpectomy but very down. Not sleeping well. Waiting for Friday to see if it even matters if I'm healing, because they might have to take more or everything. And that even a mastectomy doesn't necessarily mean the cancer is gone. Sorry. Very low today. The waiting is very hard

MTwoman

ellmarlew,

I am so sorry you're feeling so low today. The waiting is honestly the most awful part, you're right! Please try to take heart in that DCIS is catching bc as early as possible. DCIS means that it hasn't left the ducts. I am sorry you're feeling so low. Do you have friends/family that are uplifting to be around? What about a therapist? Finding the right kind of support for yourself now is critical for your sense of peace and healing. You need good rest! Please consider talking to your providers about something for sleep, and if your mood doesn't lift, perhaps something for depression? (depression is NOT "part" of having bc)

when will you get your pathology results? do you know?

After surgery, once the final pathology is complete and the 'treatment' stage begins, is usually a time when many of us start to feel more powerful and engaged. I had no additional treatment beyond surgery and recon as I was TN, but still found that each reconstruction led me toward a feeling of my new "normal". I am now 14 years NED. ((gentle hugs))

ellmarlew

Thank you for the hugs and support, MT. I appreciate them. I meet with my surgeon on Friday, and I believe that's when I'll get my pathology results back (at least some of them), and we'll talk about next steps.

I've been doing a lot of walking, which helps. My family offers some practical support, but not emotional support. I have some friends who are trying very hard to give me the emotional support I need, which has helped -- but most of them live elsewhere, not locally. They let me talk to a very nice cancer counselor before my surgery, and that helped a lot -- he was great, and really listened. I'm also, I think going to try to find a support group of some kind. I think it would help to be with other women who are going through this.

It's good to hear that you have had so many years post-treatment. I am still learning all the new lingo, but NED is good?

Hugs to you. Thanks for being here for me to talk to this morning.

~Ellen in OR

MTwoman

sorry Ellen, NED = no evidence of disease, so that's great!

I think a support group can be very helpful if it is facilitated by someone who has good experience. I went to one for awhile, and facilitated them many years later (I'm also a therapist). I think if you had a positive connection/experience with the counselor at the center, maybe ask for another meeting with him and see what he can recommend for ongoing support? Your emotional health is very important, as you need to be able to have a good clear head for decision making and overall health supporting habits (like good sleep and reduced stress). Congrats, by the way, for the walking; that's a good thing for you! Keep moving forward - you can do this!