Just Diagnosed and Worried About my Daughter

notanisland

Kicks, it's obvious that you read through this entire thread before responding, which I appreciate. My list of questions for the surgeon is growing and I'm beginning to realize that they all won't be answered right away. A number of them will have to await referral to an oncologist and other specialists, which may take weeks of appts, decisions, planning before any type of treatment (forgive my longhand, I'm not up to speed on using abbreviations and may use them incorrectly!). First reaction is panic and wanting to get the surgery done, especially since I already know there is node involvement. But I can also see the benefit of chemo first, so will gather a good team to work with, try to be patient and attentive, carefully consider the options, and try not to apply anyone else's experience to my own situation. I'm so intent on doing everything I can that I've gotten ahead of myself. Key now is to calm down and prepare for my appt. Thank you to you and others for helping me to rein in the panic so I can betterhear and understand my doctors.

Kicks

At this time - there is no way to know how quick you will be seeing your Team. For some it does take weeks but for others it can be days.

For me, it was a week from the node enlarging overnight til I saw my PA, had a new mammo, US and FNBs (Fine Needle Biopsies) that after noon (Thurs) with path. rreport the Radiologist at 8 the next morning (Fri). Saw my Surgeon on Mon, Rads Dr (RO/Radiological Oncologist) on Wed and Chemo Dr (MO/Medical Oncologist) on Thurs. The next week started a lot of Scans (Bone, CT, MRI, PET), a biopsy on an area that 'lit up' along my lower jaw on PET. An EKG. A port implant and 17 days after DX (diagnosis) started 4 DD A/C (Dense Dose Adriamycin/Cytoxan) neoadjuvant. So yes, for some of us there is no long term waiting but for others it can be longer.

Not all questions can be answered immediately. It is a building/learning 'journey' that takes starting at the base and building knowledge from a solid base. Sort of like you can't read many books until you have learned the alphabet and small words first and build from there to being able to read 'everything' you want to. (Hope that makes sense )

Find out what your ER/PR and HER2 status are - this will have an effect on the TX plan. Depending on what family HX (history) is ask about genetic testing not just for you but for your daughter.

The Surgeon will not have a lot of answers probably. The Chemo Dr will have more. While Surgeons who routinely deal with BC do have a lot of knowledge on BC - their field of expertise is surgery/cutting. The Chemo Dr's field of expertise is Chemo while the Rads Dr's field of expertise is radiation. All related for the whole TX picture working together for the best prognosis.

Icietla

Hi notanisland. I hope you are having a much better day today. I did not mean to scare you. I too was thinking that the Doctor must have used the m-word carelessly.

In February 2015 my husband caught a terrible cough from someone who claimed that their cough was only from allergy. Two weeks later I too had that terrible cough. That August it was worse than ever, even with our medications therefor (yes, for all those months), and one coughing spell then caused my husband to faint and fall onto his nose. We had that terrible cough from February 2015 through November 2015. [It is still going around out there in our area.] I still shudder to think how something like that might have caused delay in my treatment or might cause delay in any others' treatment -- hypothetical, sure, but you will understand that such possibilities strike me as realistic and dreadful. That is why I urge just-diagnosed members to take great care to try to keep themselves and their household members from catching any illnesses going around.

Anyway, yes, there is something of a little universe of different perspectives here at BCO. We all want for you to be as well and as happy as you can be.

Happy Easter.

notanisland

Icietla, I'm home from Easter with family and glad I went, but I know that your advice reflects your experiences and concerns. I appreciate your wanting me to be careful and safe so I may have the best possible result. Hope you had a happy Easter too

Cowgirl13

Notanisland, do everything you want right now! I have never heard of such a thing.

I had to do things because that was the only relief for me during the time of I was biopsied and then had surgery.

Kicks

🐇 That's great that you went and had a great Easter with family!🐰

I believe (and live) that Life is to be lived and enjoyed to the utmost possible. There are no guarantees for what the next hour/day/week/month/year will bring for any of us. I refuse to be held (dwell) in fear of what is not known, loosing enjoyment/happiness/life, just because 'something' negative might happen. IF/WHEN 'something' negative does happen, then I'll deal with it in the best way posssible.

notanisland

cowgirl13, you are so right. When I'm home alone (I work at home) I try to keep as busy as possible. In those times when I'm not preoccupied my mind drifts back to what's happening inside me and I can barely catch my breath. My chest tightens and little aches take on new and frightening meaning. It's when I'm out living life with family, friends and even strangers that I can enjoy the now

notanisland

Well said, Kicks! I'm trying! Still need your strength and encouragement, but I will do my best to stay "present.