Got my diagnosis yesterday

whirlwind

I am so glad for these forums. I was reading them before my diagnosis. They were helpful to me in this past week, and I know they will continue to be helpful. I was just diagnosed yesterday. I don't know the staging yet. I guess I will find out after surgery. I meet with a Breast Surgeon and Oncologist next week. I am 39 years old, and will be 40 next month. I am a Mom to four kids ages 13,12,8 and 6. I haven't even starting having annual screening mammograms. This all started in January. I felt a lump in my right breast. It was large enough to be alarming to me. My Mass is only 2cm, but it felt more like the size of a golf ball (I guess because it was pushing breast tissue up). I have also been having severe night sweats, and more tired than usual for several months, but attributed that to entering my 40's, being a busy Mom, and possible hormonal changes. I was planning on having my physical and 1st Mammo after I turned 40 next month, and was going to ask about the night sweats. I waited for one menstrual cycle to see if the lump would get smaller or go away, but it didn't . Because of the lump, I bumped up my physical to March 2nd. Doc felt my lump at the appointment, and had me schedule a diagnostic Mammo. At the mammo I could tell they found something with all the images they took, and the radiologist asking for more images. He ordered an Ultrasound on the spot. After the ultrasound he called me in his office to talk with me. He showed me the images and said it was not a cyst, because it was not fluid filled. He said I had a 2cm spiculated mass birads category 5 that needed an ultrasound. I wasn't panicked yet, but had a sinking feeling of what my diagnosis would be. Prior to my biopsy my physical blood work came back, and I saw that I had extremely low vitamin D... it was 6. He put me on 50,00 IU/week. My B12 was also low. I am on shots for it now. I just recently found out about the possible correlation between low Vit D and breast cancer. I went for the biopsy this week on Wed the 15th. Yesterday afternoon, the 16 I got the call from my Dr. with my cancer diagnosis. I had to be calm because my kids were already home from school, but I was shaking inside. I have never felt such feelings of doom. I am Ok and more positive today. I will do better as I get more informed, talk to others who have been through this, and meet with the people on my care team. My biggest worry right now is the fact that I am obese. (5ft 6" tall,, 306 pounds and size 24) I am scared of the risks of having surgery as an obese person. I am scared of fitting in the MRI machine, or CT Scan machine if I need those tests. I can't help to think that had I got my act together years ago, I would not have this diagnosis. I know now that obesity can up the risk for Breast cancer. I didn't have any idea about that until this week. I also know that it's not healthy to blame myself for anything, so I am trying to let go of that feeling. I am moderately physically active (aside from regular housework in a three story home) with a few walks a couple time a week, and light hiking trails in the summer. I eat healthy foods with fast food only 1-2 times per month. BUT I indulge too much....I like my sweets, and salty snacks at night. That kind of eating stops NOW, and I'd like to increase my physical activity while I still feel good. I hear Exercise helps greatly with treatment. So...here I go... about to fight an epic battle that I absolutely have to win. I will draw on my loved ones, and this forum for the positive support I need to be healthy,happy and whole, mind, body and soul. (edited to add my height and weight info)

Falconer

Dear Whirlwind,
I'm sorry that you are here with us, but please know that you will be well supported here. As a mom of three, I understand your feelings about receiving the news while your children were "already home from school". It took me many many weeks before I slowly shared the news with them. I'm glad to hear that you are working toward greater health, and that you've started taking Vitamin D supplements. While you're right, the healthier you are the easier the treatments will be for you, I guess, don't beat yourself up over what has happened before. Many of us (myself included) were diagnosed with bc while being physically active and a healthy weight. Hugs to you as you start this journey. You're not alone.

bclibrary

Hi Whirlwind -- I know why you chose that name! It is overwhelming when getting the news, and I felt like I was in a whirlwind of emotion, reactions, and trying to digest everything. I had 8 rounds of chemo (Stages 1 and 2, 1 lymph on left, still waiting for tests on other nodes) and just had bi-lateral lumpectomies on Monday. Radiation will follow in 4-6 weeks...

ANYway, as Falconer mentioned, there can be many reasons we get breast cancer, and there is no reason to think it is due to anything you have done or not done. I am also overweight (5'3" and 195), and had to let go of idea it was my weight. ALSO, I asked the CT scan technician and another tech to some machine I can't recall now, if I would fit in that piece they have you lie on, and in the machine itself that you are guided into...Both were so kind, and the CT lady told me "Listen here...it's good enough for up to 500 pounds so you're covered madam...don't think about it for one more second..." I can relay that message to you

I honestly just started to look at the forums on this site, and another (BIDMC - Beth Israel), to get feedback on a few things. You will find a wealth of info and support in these sites, and you can also PM (you probably know that means 'Private Message' - I wasn't sure, this young 59 year old here....

I'm rambling -- I know I"m jumping the gun, but I'll forget to send you this note on suggestions for throughout chemo treatment if you will get it (and cannot comment on my needs during radiation yet...)

- I don't know your situation with family, husband, etc but if your 13 and 12 year old can watch the other two without killing one then great -but if anyone volunteers to take your younger two (especially a day or two after treatment depending on what 'cocktail' you are on) take them up on it. I stopped feeling bad for asking for help-- it's OK to be 'selfish'! NO one would disagree-

- You might ask a friend if he/she will email your friends and family members and set a schedule for people to come over to bring meals, check on you, and just be there! Then I didn't have to think about the next week, month, it was a huge load off my back.You are going to need it especially since you have FOUR children. Is your husband supportive? Even if he is, take the help. Jill scheduled friends to come 2 days after chemo, 3, and 4th day. I found those were my hardest days (ACT treatment) One friend always opted for every Wednesday throughout since she works at home. OR have meals delivered if you're not near friends or family and you can afford it.

- Where do you live? I also took help from a few organizations (I'm in Ayer MA - 15 minutes west of Concord....) by talking to the social worker at Emerson Hospital and one of the directors from "The Healing Garden" in Harvard, MA. One gave me six bi-weekly cleaning services When you feel up to it, ask your surgeon or oncologist who is the social worker at the hospital and maybe go from there. You might find your energy depleting with the chemo, so don't think twice about talking any form of help that fits your needs. I only have my 2 children in the area, but if you have family (that you can put up with....lol) take their help --they really want to do ANYthing (most of them....) to help you.

That's enough for now! Sorry so long...you are going to get through this, and we will be here for you. I'm getting suggestions from others from these forums and they are so helpful. The BEST advice a friend gave me (BC survivor of 10 years) is Take it a Day at a Time or moment at a time. I still have to constantly remind myself to practice this, but it helps SO much.

You WILL beat this --Sending hugs and I will send you suggestions for HUMOROUS movies, comedians on YouTube or Netflix, HBO sometime. If you love humor it will help immensely

Fellow BC kick-asser

Barbara

ElaineTherese

Whirlwind,

No one deserves to get breast cancer. Not you, not anyone. This disease doesn't care whether we are moms or daughters, or whether we were super-healthy or super-unhealthy. I, too, love my night-time snack, and haven't been a skinny-minnie since I got pregnant with twins! But, that's all water under the bridge now.

It looks like (so-far) that you have the most common kind of breast cancer, IDC, ER+/PR+/HER2-. That means that you have a reasonable chance of avoiding chemo. After your surgery, your doctor should send a sample of your cancer for Oncotype testing. That test should show whether or not the benefits of chemo outweigh its risks.

((Hugs)) and best wishes!

CeliaC

Whirlwind - ditto to all that ElaineTherese wrote. DEFINITELY, go for the Oncotype DX. First consult w/Surgeon - no mention was made of chemo being a possibility. At 1 week post surgery visit, he mentioned doing the Oncotype DX to determine if chemo benefits would outweigh risks. Luckily results indicated & surgeon recommended NO CHEMO. Try to take things one day at a time and keep consulting the BC Community. There is a lot of understanding, empathy and good info (even humor) out there from fellow BC Sisters. Hugs to you and to your family.

Italychick

whirlwind, don't beat yourself up. My mom was close to 300 pounds, never got breast cancer. I did, sitting out in California in my exercise lala land. I was in the best shape of my life when I was diagnosed. The risk of getting it is being alive.

Best of luck, just do whatever you can to stay active during treatment, I think it helps with side effects.

solfeo

Hi whirlwind! I agree with the others, you can't know what led to the cancer and it serves no purpose to fret over possible causes. There are lifestyle factors that might raise or lower risk (just statistics), but none of them are going to cause cancer or prevent it all on their own.

I can speak as someone who was morbidly obese at diagnosis (5'6" 270 lbs). First I'll give you the good news. I fit in all the machines and I did really well in surgery with zero complications. I also avoided chemo even with an over 3cm tumor that had been missed in mammograms for at least 5 years. And oh yeah, I weigh 136 lbs. now, less than two years from diagnosis, and I got here with diet and exercise alone. So it can be done.

The not so good news is that obese women might have a worse prognosis, but you probably know that. They don't know for sure that losing the weight will improve odds, but since estrogen is stored and made in body fat, common sense says that getting rid of the excess fat will provide less fuel for any cancer cells that survive treatment.

Cancer was a wakeup call for me, that I have learned to appreciate, and I would be happy to communicate with you and offer support if you would like to lose the weight. PM me anytime.

lovepugs77

Hi Whirlwind! I was just diagnosed a month ago, and I understand exactly what you mean about trying to figure out what you could have done differently. I keep thinking if I had exercised more, eaten less sugar, not been on hormonal birth control, etc. The list goes on and on. I think it is only natural to try to figure out why this happened, but the truth is, it can (and does) happen to all kinds of people. You can do everything "right" and still end up with BC.

Jenmia2002

I too was just diagnosed this week. I'm 34 with a 14 year old daughter and 8 year old son. No family history of breast cancer. Noticed a small lump on my right breast a month ago and had my GYN/Boss check it out. We both thought it was probably nothing just my dense breast tissue but just to be safe went for a diagnostic mammo. My lump didn't show on the Mammo but since it was palpable they sent me for an US that came back as a BiRad 4. Had biopsy the next morning on Friday and got the results this last Tuesday. I was in shock when I saw my biopsy report on my chart. I exercise almost daily, eat right, rarely drink, and I don't smoke. It's like lovepugs77 said you can do everything right and still end up with BC.

Anonymous

I just watched this week's Sunday Morning on CBS show, all about cancer. The scientists on that show simply said, and I quote, it's just bad luck if we get a cancer dx. In other words, it's our unique physiology that lends itself to an aberration in a cell--either some weird DNA thing or a cell just doesn't turn off as it should. They said really, that in spite of "doing all the right things" it's a cellular level disease.

We can do some things to protect ourselves, but in the end sometimes our cells just go haywire and don't stop reproducing. I think of all the people I've known who smoked and drank like crazy and ate badly, and died of old age or something else that wasn't cancer. I know we want 100% guarantees (if we do this, we will not get that), but our bodies are so complicated: it isn't that simple at all.

I run, I hike, I go to the gym, my BMI is at 19.8, I don't smoke, I am close to being vegan, all vegetarian, I do yoga, I live in a clean mountain environment, with clean water--and I've been living like that for years. I still got cancer.

We can't blame ourselves. If you took care of yourself, like I tried to (might have had too much fun with wine and beer at times), believe that you did the right thing. Our dx might have been much worse if we had treated our bodies badly over time.

Claire in AZ

PeppermintPatti

Dear Whirlwind,

I am a 3x survivor. The emotions associated with the diagnosis compare to nothing. I understand THE WHIRLWIND. Hearing the words can be devastating!

I was diagnosed with DCIS at age 40(my son was 10) after my first mammogram. After the doctor told me, I said to him "I'm going to pass out" and as I sat in the chair, I did. I had a lumpectomy with radiation. 8 years later, I was back for another DCIS diagnosis on the other side with more radiation, (my son was 18) 10 years later, this past fall, my 3rd DCIS diagnosis was back on the 8 year side. (My son was 28) I had a bilateral mastectomy this time around, December 5, 2016. I am now 59. Been going through this for 19 years of my life. Key word "through". My son watched and helped his ol' Mom through all 3 surgeries.

Breast cancer was the worst thing that ever happened to me and the best thing that ever happened to me. It has helped me grow as a person and as a woman. It has availed me to help other woman get through this so they know they are not alone.

My 2nd bout I was wheeled into surgery wearing my fake nose and glasses. Again for the 3rd time I showed up in the same get up! When the anesthesiologist saw me he asked "Nose job, right?" My reply "Exactly!" Our laughter set the tone for a delightful, upbeat surgical atmosphere.

I am currently undergoing reconstruction. There are some issues due to my previously radiated skin, but we (me and my PS) are taking it slow. I am hopeful. I am happy I go for mammograms. I am happy I never missed one appointment, and I am happy I have never defined myself around my breasts.

Spiritually, emotionally, intellectually I have changed. I am a new woman. I may currently have some mis

hapen breasts, but my spirit is stronger than ever thanks be to God.

Keep the faith, Whirlwind, let the dust settle, take it one day at a time, and do things to refresh your body, mind, and soul, because YOU are worth it!

With love, hugs, and my fake nose and glasses spirit...

Patti from Babylon, Long Island, NY

whirlwind

Wow, thank you everyone for all the info, advice, and stories! I cannot express how each and every one of your replies has begun to empower me.

Moderators

Dear Jenmia2002,

It looks like you are new here. Welcome and we are so glad that you reached out to our community. We are sorry about your new diagnosis but glad that you are here. Please stay connected and keep us posted on how you do. The MOds

deni1661

Whirlwind- sorry about your diagnosis but glad you are here. This is the best resource for information and support. The first hand experience is so very helpful especially as you're facing tough decisions. There are many success stories and words of encouragement. Stay positive, you are strong and will beat this!

Peppermint Patti, you are awesome! Your positivity is inspirational to us all :-

Anonymous

Peppermint Patti, it's women like you who bring tears to my eyes but give me such strength. When I know that there are thousands of b.c. sisters out there like you, when I get anxious or PTSD'y because of my past experiences, I think of you all and get so much comfort and relief. I wish we could have a huge bc.org "hang-out" (no serious educational talks, etc) conference somewhere centrally located so we could all meet each other.

Virtual hugs to all of you.

Claire in AZ

Islandgurl13

I'm new to the site, but reading here and seeing support and info offered is so comforting. After abnormal mammograms in January, Clusters of microcalcifiacations, suspicious BIRADS 4, I was sent for 2 stereotactic, vacuum assisted breast biopsies.(Feb 1, 2017) The result took almost 2 weeks and the waiting was hell. The pathology on those indicated Focal Atypical Hyperplasia, Intraductal Pipilloma with sclerosis and the Microcalcifications. My breast was still uncomfortable from that procedure, when I was referred to a gen. surgeon for excisional biopsies and had them done March 3. Fourteen days later, the surgeon handed my the pathology report with no explanation on the way out the door. The followup examine was so brief, he examined the incision and I complained of a newly inverted nipple that is painful and has slight didcharge. He told me to try to pop it out and return in a month. The New Patholgy reads:

Final Diagnosis:

Right Breast Lumpectomy, Focal Atypical Ductal Hyperplasia, focal flat epitelialntypia, Benign fibrocyctic changes, Sclerosising Adenosis, multiple foci of epithelial microcalcifications and vascular calcifications.Two prvious biopsy sites with post biopsy change. No evidence of maignancy, Skin with no significant patologic abnormality, negative resection margins.

Not sur of what all that means but was suprised that it varied somewhat from original biopsies. Should I see a breast care specialist?

solfeo

Hi Islandgurl13 - welcome!

Yes it does mean you should be more closely monitored, and not by the guy who shoved a report in your hand on the way out the door. You could also get a second opinion on the Final Diagnosis just to be sure they are not missing anything. It happens.

I had a similar history of benign problems and I did end up with breast cancer. That doesn't mean you will but because your risk is elevated you want to be extra vigilant so you can catch it early if it happens.

Islandgurl13

Thanks Solfeo.... I have contacted Regional Breast Care and I was asked to have all my records sent there from the radiologists and the gen surgeon-- then they will set up an appointment. I'll keep you posted. It has been stressful with all the waiting, because I have been on anti-depressants and anxiety meds for almost 50 years, I am now 62

msphil

hello sweetie i too came to know there is no explantion about why we get cancer veing active eating good But im here to Inspire others i found lump while showering devastated cause i felt right then it was trouble i was making wedding plans to this wonderful Our 2nd marriage decided ti hacmve ny cry then fight which i did. I am a 23yr Survivor this yr. Praise God si stay Positive and Always have Hope. msphil idc stage 2 0\3 nodes Lmast 3mo chemo before surgery and 3mo after surgery. We git married after chemo n before rads. Gid Bless Us All. Hugs 2!!!!!!!!