To Date or Not to Date with BC

Trooper2

I wanted a place were us single women could vent. I'm 49 single woman that wants to know is it right to want to date. Mind you I didn't have any men knocking my door down to want to date me before bc. Now with a hair do that looks like a mens do to chemo and having one less breast makes my chances of finding someone next to nill. Going through this journey I have never felt so alone. Sometimes all I wanted was a hug from a male and for him to tell me don't worry I'm here for you. Anyways I was just wondering if there are other women out there that feel the same way.

Moderators

Hi Trooper and thanks for posting such an important topic!

We're sure you'll get some great responses here, but you may also want to join our Singles With Breast Cancer forum, where you can meet others managing a similar situation and feelings about dating with breast cancer.

We hope this helps!

-- The Mods

pupmom

Trooper2, I'm not in your situation (married for almost 26 years), but my sister was when diagnosed with bc at age 35. She had a mastectomy and reconstruction. She dated and about 10 years later married. So, there is a lot of hope out there! (((HUGS)))

Trooper2

Thanks, pupmom and Mods

Wildplaces

hello Trooper,

I am 48 (soon to be 49) single and had a mastectomy.

For me the thread you bring spreads over three areas

- how I feel about myself and project in daily life

- who is likely to approach me given the disease burden

- the support that single women, and more so single women parents have going through this illness and beyond

I have chosen not to have reconstruction - in MY mind a field where cancer has grown is best left alone not further opened up, inflated, deflated etc. I had small breasts and been happy with that look. The plastic surgeon I work with - knows my practical nature - is just ...waiting for me to change my mind - maybe I will, maybe I will not - nothing is set in stone while we are alive.

Having cancer has forced to focus on Me - how I do things and what makes me happy. My reaction to what I call "the bold one breasted look" (since I lived it gosh I should be able to say it) was " that will sort out the men from the boys"! Less work for me to do as hopefully from now on I will only be approached by good hearted men. I try not to thing of chances because the world is full of unpredictable turns. You never whatknow happen next - there is good and bad in that.

Finally - yes, I am independent and have been blessed with an amazing support group. I have managed to collect some incredible friends over the years BUT I do agree in the darkness of the night there were moments where the comfort of a partner would have been a blessings ( this is assuming that the person by your side gets it - otherwise you have company but are horrendously alone)

Hope springs eternal !