Crazy scared waiting on mammogram results

LoneStarBluebonnet

Went to my ob/gyn for my annual today and to tell him my right breast felt strained and sometimes nipple tingling, for two months. After manual exam, there were no lumps, no visual weirdness, and no lymph swelling. Still he sent me upstairs to the breast Center for a walk-in mammo. My first one, I am 38. Before gathering my items I glanced the screen. Don't know which breast it was but saw three circular bright spots. Of course I'm not a doctor, but I'm terrified. Before walking out I asked "what's next?" All the tech said was a letter would be sent. Before leaving I asked again "what now?" The receptionists said I'd get a call if I need to return. Im so scared. So sad. I can't stop thinking. I'm so terrified.

Fearless59

Hi, Lone Star,

I like this one....."worry is today's mouse eating tomorrow's cheese." There will be plenty of time to worry later if required!! But I know how it is....not knowing is such an awful feeling. I hope all is well for you!!

Fearless

MTwoman

So sorry you're in 'waiting for results' purgatory! Super glad you got it checked out, and that they did the proper follow up promptly. Make sure and request a complete copy of your radiology report as well as a cd of your images. If you have questions about what something means, and don't have a follow up appointment quickly enough, you can post confusing portions here and get help deciphering them. ((hugs))

LoneStarBluebonnet

Many thanks to both of you for the advice and words. I am at the "nauseous" state now of the waiting process. I know I should eat. I know I should do work. But I'm cocooned and tossing around unable to think of anything other than what could be happening next. I know I can't change the results; Ijust feel this horribleness consuming me.

MTwoman

LoneStar, now is the time for distraction and/or relaxation: binge-watch Netflix, go for a long walk, music with hot bath, massage, hot tub or whatever projects you do that you can get lost in. I do know how hard it is not to be consumed by the questions/fears/doubts, however it doesn't really help you and won't change the outcome. Spend time with people you love doing whatever can give you some sense of happiness and make sure you are sleeping. If you are having overwhelming anxiety or are unable to sleep well, talk to your doctor about short term medication assistance. Most likely you'll get B9 results, but on the off chance that you don't, you'll need your wits about you to make good decisions and weeks of intense anxiety and lack of sleep don't equate to a clear head. You have support here, whatever the outcome. ((hugs))

Beina

I just went through the waiting purgatory (I love that you called it that MTwoman). I do want to say this. Sometimes I focused on other things, sometimes I slept, sometimes I cried and the worry was there all of the time. Embrace your emotions -whatever they may be, they are valid. I tried to get myself to think happy thoughts, to not think about it but there were times I knew that to regain calmness and not freak out, I had to think about it. I had to cry, I had to plan what if's. All of that was how I got through the waiting period.

LoneStarBluebonnet

Yes, MTwoman, exactly what this, purgatory, this is quite the horrid purgatory. And Beina, you're right, I've run the gamut of all sorts of thoughts and emotions. I hope your purgatory ended with good results. I continue my netflix vigil...

LoneStarBluebonnet

Hi Everyone,

Just got my results:

Fatty replacements of the breast are seen. No architectural malformations. No marginated mass lesions. No microcalcifications or clusters. Small benign lymph nodes. BIRADS 1 negative. Breast almost entirely fatty.

Still feeling the right breast ache so the nurse is asking my doctor what to do now.

I'm supposed to get a letter with this in "lay terms" but this is good news, right?!

MTwoman

Yes, LoneStar, this is great news! BIRADS 1 means "normal" or negative finding (which is the one time when negative is actually a positive thing!). So happy for you!

LoneStarBluebonnet

Thank you MTwoman, I appreciate that! My doc said that if I wanted to get diagnostic ultrasound and mammo for additional peace of mind I could, but he said it wasn't needed. Although he has no answer as to why I'm hurting. My mom-in-law, a survivor, said the fact I had digital mammography and have fatty (yet ironically tiny) breasts that something would probably have shown up on this mammo if it were there. I've just read stories of mammograms missing things and now I'm conflicted on getting the diagnostic mammo and ultrasound. Am I overthinking?

solitude

Your fear is normal. I felt the same way. I hope your wait is over soon.

MTwoman

LoneStar, We are all different in what we need for peace of mind. Honestly, if you are anxious about something being missed, there is no harm in taking the doc up on the offer of a diagnostic. The difference in the diagnostic mammo is that there are more views, and the ultra sound can "see" things differently. Just think about what YOU to feel confident, either way is fine.

LoneStarBluebonnet

This is an older post... I ended up getting the diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound; no abnormal findings, BIRADS 1. I still have the stretch mark & light splotchy pinkness, bi-laterally; my dermatologist said were due to weight gain, similar markings/pink are on my stomach. I only really started inspecting the look of my breasts during the recent screening so I don't know how long I've had the marks, to be honest. However, the mere sight of "pink" with grooves sent me to IBC fear-dom. The marks/pink have been stable and have even seen improvement in the last 1.5 months since the screening mammo. So now I'm desperate to try and be reasonable about having the bi-lateral marks and "chest wall pain" along with intermittent left arm and underarm aches. In conversation with an orthopedic surgeon, he thinks I may have costochondritis, but haven't seen him officially to get that diagnosis. My ob/gyn says there's nothing left for me to check on their side so I was referred to a breast specialist. Thus, I can go see him. So what's a real concern and what's health anxiety?! I just don't know anymore!

MTwoman

that's a difficult place to be LoneStar. So, if I understand correctly, your diagnostic imaging results were BIRADS 1 and the bilateral marks have been identified by the dermatologist. Now, you're just trying to figure out if you want to follow up with a breast specialist and/or an orthopedist? What are the remaining symptoms that you want checked out by the breast specialist? It sounds like the "chest wall" pain (rule out costochondritis) is what you are considering discussing with the ortho?

So, based on your last 2 sentences, you've had health anxiety. If that's true, and you have a family doctor (GP or internist) who knows you and whom you trust, that is the person I'd go see now. That person will be aware of your health anxiety and your health history and may be the best person to discuss the lingering questions that you have. They can make a plan with you about what diagnostics/referrals are reasonable, and which are solely anxiety driven. Also, if you don't already, making a treatment plan with your PCP to address your (health) anxiety could be tremendously beneficial for you. Anxiety can really rob you of the ability to engage in and enjoy your life. It's nefarious. AND, it can stand in the way of you being able to know when something happening in your body is urgent and when it isn't.

LoneStarBluebonnet

Well... that's a good question regarding seeing the breast specialty. I suppose it's to just make sure it's not breast related. I really don't know what to expect if I do go in terms of what he'd do or not do to check what's going on. I really flipped with fear when I learned about IBC and saw my marks/pinkness. The orthopedic doctor said they always rule out breast and heart before seeing patients with chest pain. I had a stress test done with a cardiologist about 1.5 years ago due to elevated resting heart rate referred by my GP; all normal. As for the health anxiety, my GP suspects I may have it; but, he is a very hands off practioner. He literally doesn't touch me other than checking my thyroid (I'm hypothyroid). He likes to refer out. And also made me question his judgement when I asked him about IBC he said "oh they just take your ducts out and you'll be fine." So, yeah, not ideal. Therefore I've gone to my ob/gyn for this which led to the diagnostics and now the choice to see a specialist.

MTwoman

Well, given that you clearly don't have IBC, and that was your concern, do you still feel a need to see the Breast Specialist? It sounds like maybe not, if you don't know what exactly you'd be showing him/her. It is a shame that your GP is so hands off, as the chest discomfort that you are describing could be worked up at a GP level, and would give you continuity of care, that going to lots of specialists won't provide you. Somebody who works up symptoms for you, and can discuss with you why certain things are concerning and what is realistic to do about it, might help with the health anxiety. Have you ever given thought to getting an internist for your general needs? They are excellent in exactly that type of work up. Just food for thought. Sorry I can't be of more help!

LoneStarBluebonnet

Thank you, MTwoman. For the insight, perspective, and simply hearinge out. You make a good point. I really don't know what the breast specialist could do if I were to go. I suppose I was seeing the specialist simply because my ob/gyn had no other option. As for anxiety, you are correct, it is robbing me of clarity. I suppose it could be a left-over from PPD I had 2 yrs ago with the birth of my little one. I do know the ache/soreness I feel left of my sternum is real. The marks/pinkness are there too. So, I do thank you for the Internist suggestion, I had not considered one. It would be great to have one go-to physician since my GP is simply not providing much insight and passing me along to others.

MTwoman

I used to love going to my internist if I had something going on. He'd run through the rule outs with me and we'd discuss the additional symptoms needed to make a diagnosis. It helped me to think about symptom clusters really rationally from a systems perspective, not from a concerned patient's perspective. (if that makes sense) He kept copies of all of my labs (I had any specialist send a copy to him) and was my "go to guy" for any concerns, other than my bc.

Sending you warm ((hugs))

LoneStarBluebonnet

I appreciate you, very much, MTwoman. Admittedly, I am still tryingto understand what is going on with my breast health and finding the right course of action has been weighing on me. Again, deciphering a real concern versus anxiety. The sneaky "what if" thoughts, you know? You have provided insight and understanding, thank you. Are you a therapist?! If not, you should be!

MTwoman

I AM! lolol. "what if" thoughts are sneaky. And they get us all at some point.

LMS

I had a Compression Mammogram and Ultrasound yesterday a week after getting an abnormal result on my left breast. I am petrified. The "nodule" is near my chest muscle and they said even though I did monthly self exams, I wouldn't have felt it anyway. I was in a car accident last January and my right breast was severely bruised by the seat belt, but it's my left breast that showed a 6mm nodule. I also suffer from general anxiety so this is not helping me. I'm up and down. First I'm depressed, them I'm angry, then I just start crying. I know how you feel. Why do they make us "play" the waiting game? My daughter (who is a breast cancer survivor) told me to stay busy. No matter what, just stay busy. It's hard and I really feel for you. No one can understand how we feel. I, like yourself, just want to know. At least if I know then I can handle it. I hope everything turns out okay for you.

tonyaberryman

I already know that I have breast cancer & I'm still having a hard time dealing with it. My 3rd chemo treatment is Monday (5/1) and I just hate to see it come, but on the other hand.......glad to get it over with.......weird......twisted. 2 more hard chemo's and then 12 easier ones so they say...........this to shall pass........one day.