Help :( looking for some support

J92

Hello everyone

My name is Jessica. I am the daughter of a (touch wood) 4 year triple positive Stage 3 breast cancer warrior. My mom's diagnosis back in 2012 was the most traumatizing experience of my life . I was 20 years old at the time. As a matter of fact, I think I will always feel scarred from this experience. My mom is my everything, and life without her is unimaginable. The fear of a reoccurrence is always in the back of my head. Even to this day, there are days that it still consumes me. Well today, we got bad news about my aunt who has been diagnosed with spinal mets after 6.5 years. Needless to say we are all devastated, shocked, angry..etc etc. My heart hurts so bad. Her and my mom are so close and have shared so many of the same life experiences. I'm just completely devastated and am having a hard time with this. I feel awful for my mom too and wish I could relieve the pain she is feeling. The reason I am posting is just for some words of encouragement. I feel terrible and selfish saying this, but now I fear for my mom's health even more. My aunt was my hope through out all of this. She was so far out and doing well, and I would look at her and think "see, she's a long term late stage survivor too" and now that's all come to an end and I feel hopeless and scared shitless. I know every cancer is different and I know that this is all out of my hands, but I just feel so overwhelmed, sad, angry, and scared and some words of encouragement would be nice. As selfish as this may sound, I feel like I am now worried just as much for my mom as I am for my aunt, I don't know if that even makes sense and I apologize if that comes off as offensive to anyone. Thank you for reading

Colt45

J92,

Being a loved one of somebody facing the challenges of cancer can be very hard. Your love and support for your mom and your aunt is undoubtedly felt by them to levels you may not even realize. You just keep loving and supporting them. They are lucky to have you. Blessings of strength to you. Praying for all the best for your entire family

J92

thank you Colt. I hope so :

Colt45

Jessica,

Another thing I'd like to add as a loved one of someone facing this challenge is that the news IS overwhelming. The emotions you are reporting are normal. Don't judge yourself harshly as you process things. Allow yourself time to work through this emotionally. You absolutely do not come off as selfish. The fact that you are here shows you care and that you want to help your loved ones.

J92

aw thank you Colt. That means a lot. I am hard on myself and everyone who knows me will agree. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I am glad to know that everything I am feeling is normal. This website has been a godsent for me. I don't post much but I am always lurking around. Thanks again for your kind words.

footprintsangel

I started a journal with my fathers cancer, it help keep track of pain

or other challenges, in the back I did my own prayer and grateful part.

God bless You been through4 family member now me. You can do it.

I know it is hard but rewards are needed too,

J92

Thank you footprintsangel all the best to you