Finished chemo..surgery next.

Sheliahm

Hello all. So I finished chemo and preparing for surgery now. I'm terrified. Not of the surgery but what they will find. I mean it was pretty much information overload. They were talking about margins, and taking out clusters of lymph nodes and lymphedema all kinds stuff. My timor was 8cm and it did respond to treament its actually flat now. But the fact that sime is still there worries me. Made the mistake of following this young lady on YouTube. She's recording her journey and her cancer came back after two years. Her lungs lit up like a Christmas tree ( that's how she put it). I haven't stopped crying since. Whats also making me nervous is after all the chemo my underarm is still a little achy. I do have an appointment coming up but I think im driving myself nuts with worry. Any feedback would be much appreciated.

stephilosphy00

I have also followed Nalie for a while on Instagram. I was so shocked to find out she had a big relapse. BC is just a crapshoot. She is the proof.

mustlovepoodles

Which is why I don't follow any BC blogs. I really don't care too much about someone else's journey. My own has been sobering enough. Don't get me wrong--I am empathetic toward others' pain and grief. I just don't need to increase my own anxiety by reading about people's recurrences and stuff.

Hopefully, the chemo has reduced your tumor to the point where it can be fully retrieved by surgery. There is always the possibility of recurrence for any of us, but I just refuse to go there. I won't even entertain the thoughts. I will continue to keep my doctor appointments and do whatever testing they recommend. But I'm not going to borrow trouble by watching YouTube videos or following blogs, because I know they are triggers for me.

I look at it this way. I'll either recur or I won't. Worrying about it isn't going to change that, either way. I don't know what the official statistics would be for me (and I have 2 gene mutations!) but the way I look at it, if I don't recur it's 0%. If I do recur, then it's 100%. If I recur I'll deal with the emotions then. But I refuse to deal with a situation that has not, and may not, ever happen to me.

MinusTwo

I don't follow any cancer journey's either except here on BCO.

I did not have a pCR after TCHP chemo. Supposedly surgery got everything, but my doc insisted on doing AC chemo after surgery before I moved on to rads. It wasn't fun but I was glad to have the extra reassurance. Since you're already preparing for surgery, try not to let anything worry you just now. My BS wanted a CT scan & an MRI before surgery anyway to have a close up of where she was going.

Sheliahm

My onc won't even order any scans. That worries me a little. The tumor is still there it's just a lot smaller now. I don't know what to think right now.

MinusTwo

Sheila - talk to the BS about ordering scans. I would think he/she would want the latest pictures before going into surgery. Otherwise I would definitely get a second opinion by a doc that is not tied to the docs you're seeing. You are triple negative at this point, so it's important to get it right.

Kimm992

I follow that same blog and her recurrence also sent me into an anxiety tailspin for a few days.

mustlovepoodles is right though. There's no point in dealing with feelings about something that hasn't even happened yet (and may never happen). I know that's sometimes easier said than done.

Just know that most people go on to live healthy, full lives beyond their diagnosis and chances are you will too!