I'm joining the club and so scared right now

bratmobile

I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 days ago and have very little information go to on. Still trying to work out all the abbreviations and terminology here. I am going to see the BS (figured that one out) on Monday. My primary care physician called me, had me sit down, make sure my kids were out of ear shot and then told me I had cancer. He used the words: "Invasive ductal" (IDC?) and "in situ" I guess one can have DCIS and IDC at the same time. He said it was "early" but didn't say more than that regarding stages. I found the lump and it feels bigger than a pea or unshelled peanut but what do I know. He wanted me to talk to the BS next but a 6 day wait feels so intolerable right now.

I've told some friends. I feel I can't tell my parents yet since I have so little information to go on. I also haven't told my kids (10 & 13) anything. I'm really ready for some kind of good news on Monday. Anything, throw me a bone. Dare I hope for a stage 1 diagnosis? Does it even matter? I'm 37, pretty darn healthy and feel like its all coming crashing down. I also feel so, so alone. Any words of encouragement are appreciated.  Very grateful to have found this forum. Also, I'd love any advice for how to make it through this waiting period and remain sane. My husband is at work and I scared of attempting to sleep tonight.  

 

 

JWoo

Hi there bratmobile,

I was 37 when i was first diagnosed (dx'd) in 2013. My medical oncologist(MO) had me do chemo prior to surgery. I had IDC, 2 tumors in the same breast- one estrogen positive, the other triple negative, no lymphnode involvement. I was stage one on both tumors, but grade 3, so they were early, but very aggressive. After chemo, I had my double mastectomy (DMX) that was skin-sparing (where they leave as much of your breast skin as possible) and just completed my second surgery for my DIEP flap reconstruction.

This is the best site to come to for info. I highly suggest you read through some of the articles on the main site. And absolutely get as much info as you can from your drs. They may not have it all yet depending on how the labs have processed your biopsies. The more info you have, the better decisions you can make. I;d wait to talk to the rest of the family unless you just really need them for support, because they will be asking a lot of questions.

I can't say to not be afraid, this is scary for anyone, no matter the stage or anything else. I can tell you that though the treatment you will go through isn't fun, it is not as horrible as what you might be picturing in your head thanks to Hollywood.

This weekend will be hard for you. The best thing you can do is enjoy it with your family, go do something fun. Meditate in whatever form you normally would, and work on your diaphragmatic breathing (deep breaths down into the belly, slow and even)

You are not alone. The people here (including the mods) are amazing and will help you through all of it.

Feel free to private message me any time if you need to here on BCO. I;ll add your thread to my favorites to keep up with you.

Welcome to the worst club in the world, filled with most of the best people.

Smaarty

welcome bratmobile, to the one club no one wants to join. Do as Jwoo suggested, meditation if you do that kind of thing, take the kids to the movies. You won't be able to get this out of your head for awhile so just kind of go with the flow. Lots of information here. Lots a women that will help you thru this. Lots of thread for topics like the kind of bc you have, treatment plans, even fun and games so we don't go crazy! You just have to jump in and start reading. You're still really early so finding the thread that suits you will take a while. Once you have more information on Monday, you'll be able to find more help here on BCO.

Depending on the type and treatment plan, chemo may be used first to shrink the tumor, then you'll decide on lumpectomy or mastectomy. This will be your decision based on what your doctors tell you and recommend.

And it's ok to cry and/or scream! I'm pretty sure we have all been there. I won't be up much longer, I just took a pain pill, so I'll check tomorrow and see how you're doing. Hang in there

MsYelv

Hey! You are a strong, beautiful woman! It was found, and now it's time to get rid of it! Do fun things while you wait. Surgery alone will slow you down. I took a trip while waiting. I wanted to live every second that I could.

Chevyboy

Morning Ms. Brat! So glad you found us! Don't worry about it! Easy to say, right? But honestly, you will find out a lot more after your surgery! Sounds like so far, you/they caught it really early!

Sometimes you don't have to tell all your family all this stuff.... It just scares them, and makes you even more worried. You can talk to us, and ask more questions... Also, the way I told my Husband, (after my biopsy, and the sit-down with the radiologist) is "Honey, it looks like cancer, but we will just go, take it out, and then probably have radiation after"..... It makes a difference in HOW you tell people.

That way, they aren't as worried, even though YOU are, and you can go on from there. Kids don't have to know a lot.... best if they don't. Just keep it simple, and change the subject.

Our Daughters helped a lot! They took "Dad" off to play while I was in surgery! Went shopping, to lunch, then stopped at a dozen more places, and so I was laying there in "recovery" and the nurse finally asked where is your family?.... So they called him, and it was like "Oh, we'll be right there, we were shopping!" That made me feel good!

The first few days after, were fun also.... ! Busy every minute! Even set off the BELL on the automatic door, from the nuclear dye I still had in my system! Ya just gotta laugh, and go along with it... all the problems, etc.... and all the treatments.

Take notes, keep some sort of tablet, and ask all the questions you can think of.... but honestly, we know more than all them Docs.... Hah!

Take good care, and just don't worry!

I just shortened your name... is that okay? Same with JWow! Don't forget to mark this "thread" as a favorite, or else you will be lost, and we can't find you!

Anonymous

Hi there,

Is it possible to hope for the best outcome for a shocking dx like this? Of course!!! Let's hope that your surgery/tx gets it all, and then you'll simply move on with your life. Well, you'll do that regardless, but yes, you can hope it's grade 1, stage 1, and no lymph node involvement. The odds are in your favor, so in the meantime DON"T freak yourself out by reading Dr. Google--vast amounts of mis/wrong information there, and oftentimes the stats are years and years old, making the articles/research obsolete.

Hang in there. One of my friends who had bc before me told me it's just a bump in the road, temporary, and doesn't define our lives--just a few months out of what will be long lives for us. You can key-word search on these boards and get good information from the women here, so as someone else suggested, stick with us and ignore Dr. Google for now.

when you go to your appts, take someone who can take notes and tell your docs you need them to speak to you in plain language so you understand everything. No one cares more about our health than we do, and you've got to be proactive with your own health. Don't let docs say things you don't understand. If you need 3 explanations of something they told you, then don't leave the office till you are clear about what it is they are telling you.

Let us know how it's going; we will always write back. We are your bc sister-family and we care.

Hugs

Claire in AZ

bratmobile

Waking up to these replies is making me cry. Thank you, thank you. I will update later with some more crazed thoughts and feelings I'd like to know your opinions on after I can get the kids to school. This feels like a lifeline now and I think is going to help no matter the diagnosis I get. Can't thank you all enough and will mark this as a favorite so I don't get lost in the sauce, thanks for the tip.

MTwoman

Hi Bratmobile, So sorry to "meet" under such circumstances, but so glad you found your way here. I read that you have your appointment with the bs on Monday. I always carried earbuds and my favorite selection of relaxing music EVERYWHERE I went, as I could never tell how long I might have to wait and found it really difficult to read through magazines (or books) at the time.

I will say that this time, right now, the time before you have all your stats and your treatment plan together and your treatment team working with you, was the worst for me mentally. Once the team was assembled and the plan was created (even after additional testing found other "areas of concern" that were identified as DCIS changing the first plan) I was able to make decisions and move forward. That part was critical for me to stop feeling like a frightened and helpless person and start feeling like an empowered problem solving fighter. Mindset is important. You can do this! And these boards filled with these amazing women are one of the best resources you can use for support. There is not much that you can have happen during your bc journey that someone here doesn't have experience with as well.

Good luck on Monday and just remember you're carrying us in your pocket when you go (that is what we say here when we mean we are with you in spirit). Big Hugs!

hummingbirdlover

Hello and welcome! I just wanted to offer my support too as someone who is two years out to tell you...you can totally do this! It's so scary in the beginning and I remember feeling totally alone (even though I had tons of support) and like I was on a terrible roller coaster ride but a good friend, who is also a BC survivor, told me something in the beginning that helped me so much. She said "your job right now is to show up and let your team work for you". Once you get a final diagnosis and a clear treatment plan, you will feel so much better, I promise. My son was 9 when I was Dx and although he was scared when I told him, he was also a great source of support. Lean on your friends and family and when people ask you what you need, tell them and let them help because they truly want to. This website was a total life saver for me during my journey, especially the "I'm having surgery this month" thread. It was so encouraging to talk to ladies who were going through the exact same thing at the exact same time as me. Hang in there and try not to panic, you are not alone. ((Hugs))

jrow7

Good morning,

I've only been on this journey for a couple of weeks now. I've had a stereotactic biopsy and an MRI guided biopsy. I have IDC/DCIS HER2+ at the 3 o'clock position and DCIS ER+ at the noon position in my left breast. I've had quite a few appts so far. I'm hoping next Wednesday I'll have my fight plan laid out for me.

We told our children a few days after my diagnosis because they picked up that there were whispers going on around them and saw the tears in my eyes. They're 19, 17, 15, 8, 8 - so far they're all handling it quite well. We've kind of made it a funny thing that mommy might lose her hair or not have a boob or either ) Laughter is a stress reliever for us.

I don't post much but I read a lot. This is a good site. I hope you have a good day today... )

Praying for peace & comfort to you and your family.

Chevyboy

Yes, Jen... good post!

And Ms Brat.....

The surgery date, time to be there, and how long it will take, what they will do, and that you will probably go home the same day! I went in early for them to insert this wire thing which is 300 feet long...( just kidding) and then they can follow that to the exact position of the tumor!

I even knew when I would have my first radiation treatment... I had the Mammosite Device implanted during surgery, so you can get radiation THAT way... But this depends on where your tumor is.... You might ask about it!

I was diagnosed in Nov. 2009...! So that's how long I have been "clear" ! Yes.... make sure someone goes with you, just to remember what they are talking about.... Write down questions, then write down the answers....

You don't have to post much.... just glad things are going along okay! We're always here..... Take good care.

bruisedreed

hiya

I too am newly diagnosed - 29/12/16

my bcn has been fantastic

do you have one yet?

talk to her too if you do

you can call anytime for a chat

I also found that its good to tell one or two close friends who can support and listen to you

you can get thru this waiting time

hugs

Lucy55

Brat ..Sorry you've had to join us , but glad you found this nice safe place ..where we can talk ...We all understand how you are feeling now .

This is the worst time ...Waiting ..but after surgery and a plan is in place you will start to feel better ..I'm 2 and a half years out ..and it doesn't consume my every thought now ..Sometimes a day passes and I'm amazed that I haven't given it a thought ...

Of course come check up time I do stress ..!!! .But the day to day , hour to hour , fear I used to have is gone .

Bruisedeed and jrow7....Sorry you are here with us too ..But we can all support each other through the stressful times .

Chevy ..I love your post , and how you broke the news to your hubby .. Glad your daughter's took him out to play ☺

Chevyboy

Thanks Lucy.... Yeah, it's bad enough when WE hear the news, but I thought if I acted scared, for sure my Husband would take it harder.... Bad enough when I asked the radiologist, "Well, what does it look like?" and he said..... Right now it looks like cancer, but it's so small, we'll just remove it, and you will be fine....

So I went back to get dressed, and hit my head on the wall.... I just thought DAMN! I thought I was too old to get cancer! I was meeting with the "Planner"... and ran out into the parking lot to get my Husband.... thinking of what we would say.... So we sat down, and that's when I explained it all, like I was talking about a slight cold...... I just didn't want to hurt him, by letting him know I felt like the wind was knocked out of me......

mellang

Hi Bratmobile. I was diagnosed in Nov 2016 and yes the waiting will drive you crazy. You will fill like you are living in "time blocks", you wait to see the doc, you wait for more test results, you wait for surgery, your wait for treatment, you wait to see the next doctor..... My head is still spinning with how fast everything happens in such a short time. Share your emotions with your love ones, don't keep it inside, cry in the shower if you need to (that's very therapeutic). Get yourself a planner notebook, so you can keep track of all your appointments. Even if it doesn't fill like it, you will get through this. I wish I would have found this site when I was first diagnosed, there is a lot of good information and a lot of support here! Hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers.

StaceySue2U

Hi I just want to echo what others have said about the point you're at now being the very worst part of the whole ordeal. It's not going to get worse.

None of the surgeries or treatments are as bad as what you're going through right now. Hollywood really does make these things look worse than they are. The only true suffering I've had from this whole entire ordeal was the suffering caused by the fear. Sure, there's occasionally been some physical discomfort but it's truly not unbearable. The fear of looking at myself after surgery was much worse than the day I actually looked. That's not to say I haven't had some major pity parties and it's not been a bed of roses by any means, but there is no suffering worse than the suffering from the time of diagnosis until treatment starts.

I'm getting close to being finished with reconstruction and I'm a different person than I was when all this started. It's definitely been a journey but if I'd known then what I know now, I would not have been afraid. I don't think it's possible to keep your sanity where you are now. You don't know, yet, how strong you are. You're a warrior, whether you know it or not!

Wren44

Everyone is right about this being the hardest time. Once you know exactly what you're dealing with and what the plan is, you'll feel less scared. Having cancer at all is scary of course, so don't hesitate to get support from friends, etc. There's a good book about telling your kids you have cancer. Unfortunately I can't remember the name, but your BS may know, or the nurse. I think you're right about waiting to tell your family until you have real information to share. Once you have details you can join the appropriate threads, women having surgery the same time you are, etc. I'm almost 5 years out (in March) and looking forward to graduation. Keep in touch.

Anonymous

I love that Hollywood reminder Yep, filmmakers are into making treatment and dx of c as melodramatic!!! as possible. It isn't fun and something we'd never choose to do, but it is doable and temporary. And not half as dramatic as Hollywood would like us to believe.

I felt so proud of myself when I got through all of it: chemo, rads, surgery, hair loss and short hair (which I loved surprisingly), weight loss (that was also okay!), all that.

I love all the women on these boards. So helpful.

Hugs

Claire

bratmobile

Hi again, so my appointment is getting nearer. My husband talked me down from a tremendous panic attack yesterday and I've felt better since. I guess you can only be on edge for so long. Any level of stress I feel won't change whatever the BS says tomorrow so I've been trying to give myself permission to actually enjoy the company around me and the things I love.

I've been afraid to eat anything after beginning to read about cancer and diet. I feel like I did this to myself somehow, with too much drinking? or too much sugar? I don't know. I'd just like to do everything that's in my power to fight this and diet seems to be the only thing I can do in this waiting period. How will I figure it all out...

Thank you for saying that it is temporary and all the replies in general. I am so moved by this community already.  Will update with more info when I get it. Hopefully, its all a terrible mistake. I shouldn't try and diagnose myself but just from feeling the lump it seems pretty big to me. I don't think that I can hope for a stage 1 diagnosis and when I realized that it may not be "early" as my doctor said, that is when I started panicking. it could be anything. I don't think he knew what he was reading really...but I'm trying not to think this way.

JWoo

Bratmobile-

Imma say this: Don't you dare blame yourself. (we all do, but i had to say it.)

We still don't really know what causes each type of cancer, and it is highly likely (like 99.9999999999%) that it is something that you have absolutely no way to control. It will take time, but you have to try to let that beast go.

Now, eating better and drinking less are just the best things you can do for yourself on so many different fronts anyway- so absolutely take control of those the best you can for your overall health and well being. But, don't deprive yourself all the time. Good food and beverages are a part of life's great joys. I hate the saying "everything in moderation", but it is a truth.

You'll find a lot of tips on food and other lifestyle/quality of life issues here. I found so much great info from the people on the boards. It's an amazing repository of personal knowledge that should go hand in hand with info from your doctors. The drs just don't have the time to cover it all, but almost everything you can think if has been covered here.

The main BCO pages are usually updated with the newest info, and there are quite a few physicians that help out with Q&As, etc, and they are good about posting recent studies/findings.

Several of us have blogs outside of BCO as well, and some are willing to share the sites with you. Just be sure you talk to your drs about anything that is of interest to you before you make changes in your lifestyle based on things you see there or here on BCO, or anywhere else on the internet. (And you will see some CRAZY things out there about curing cancer and... well, just all kinds of mess. But no, drinking nothing but celery juice upside down on Tuesdays will not cure your cancer... unfortunately. )

Hope you were able to spend some QT with the family. I so love the saying " Worry is borrowing tomorrow's trouble." Glad your DH (dear husband) was able to talk you down and help get you to a calm place.

Have a great night and pleasant dreams! We will be in your pocket for your appointment tomorrow!

Loveroflife

Yup, don't go and blame yourself. Jwoo, you took those words right from my mouth, I meant fingertips.

Bratmobile, the anxiety can drain you of your strength. The waiting period is tough. Exercise helped me with my anxiety along with my faith. If it is not your thing, then try to find activities that help you with the nervous energy. You just hang with us. Will be in your pocket tomorrow. Btw, my younger daughter is 13 too.

NotVeryBrave

I was diagnosed in November and had so many of your same thoughts. It really is so overwhelming in the beginning. There are so many questions and appointments and details. Sometimes it seems like one just leads to the next!

I agree with so many that this is really the hardest part. Once you know what you are dealing with and the plan - then you can focus on that. Allow yourself to feel however you do at the moment. There is no "right" way to deal with these circumstances.

I had the biopsies done on a Friday and the initial result (IDC) by Monday. Thankfully, I was able to see the BS before the biopsies and met with her to go over the pathology report on Tuesday. I told my parents by phone that afternoon. It was easier for me than having to look them in the eyes. And I told my children (ages 16, 13, and 10) that evening after dinner.

I think the main thing is to be honest about what facts you know. The kids can sense when stuff is going on and worry. They also generally have much less of a depressing knowledge base about cancer. Things are so much better these days! I just told them what treatment might entail and updated them as time went on. I contacted the guidance counselors later at each of their schools and told the kids that they could talk with them if they wanted.

I hope it is the best news today. None of it is good, of course. I'll be thinking about you.

Chevyboy

Morning gals! Okay now LittleBrat.... I just KNEW you would go worryin' about everything you don't know. You know, at least 1/2 the stuff I read and googled had nothing to do with what I finally found out.

You are gonna get all kinds of upset, and stuff to worry about, and it just makes it harder to sleep, and enjoy life! Focus on your family right now.... And getting stuff done around the house.... That takes your mind off of it all.

See, I was all afraid of Radiation, not to mention Chemo..... You might have to have some of those things, but they have come a long way in the treatments now! Things just aren't the same as they used to be.

And NO... no matter what you read, or have done, has nothing to do with why you got cancer! There isn't a one of us who didn't ask their Doc "How did I get this...what did I do wrong?" My Doc said your cells are always renewing and dying off... Most cells do this without any problem, but once in awhile one cell just goes nuts, and turns bad. So we deal with it.

It isn't the tons of sugar you ate, or all the butter and mashed potatoes & gravy.... not even the saccharin or alcohol, or Lord knows whatever ELSE we consumed. We just got it. Period.

So shake it off, do something around the house that takes your mind off of your appointment... Get your list of things ready you want to ask.... and the less people you talk to about this.... EXCEPT US.... means you are better off. They will sometimes make you feel guilty, and sorry for yourself.

Don't go listening to some of those movie stars, or celebrities who think they got the cure... or beat it with their wacky ideas!

Yeah, I went through that "Take a million vitamins a day" thing.... I took a LOT for months, and never felt any different.... so just save your money.

Okay.... guess that's all I have for now...

Wren44

At this point, ask for copies of everything and keep them together in one place. There were a lot of things in the reports that I didn't understand at the time and went back to when I'd learned more. You're entitled to copies of your medical records and most docs are willing to give them to you. Just say you want to be able to read them when your mind isn't whirling.

I ended up with a mastectomy (my choice) and had 5 and 8yo grandsons. I try to keep covered around them, but decided how I would explain it if they noticed. I was going to tell them it's like finding a bad spot in an apple. You cut it out and the rest of the apple is ok. Sometimes you find another bad spot and in the end you decide it's not worth keeping. They haven't noticed or asked, but I felt better having an explanation prepared.

Don't worry about thinking you "caused" it by doing anything. The biggest risk factor is being female. Women on here have led all kinds of lives. Some exercised and ate organic and others were couch potatoes who ate what they wanted. Both kinds ended up with cancer. Stick to a healthy diet and moderate exercise which will do you good in the future anyway.

bratmobile

Alright. I found out I am stage 1a with IDC & some DCIS. About a 1.8cm mass, grade 2. I will be able to have hormone therapy, I think its tamoxasomething. (I know I've read the full name on these boards.) We are waiting on results about HER-2 and I think if that comes back positive then I have chemo and if it is negative then I do not. I have it all written down and trying to organize the notes tonight and tomorrow. At least now I know and you were all so right about the waiting. My BS said surgery options are lumpectomy/partial mastectomy, and my understanding those are the same thing. I asked if mastectomy was a more aggressive route of treatment and she said of course, I could elect anything but she did not think it would increase/decrease my chances of recurring. Lots to digest and review in the pathology report and all the info they sent me with.

I can't thank everyone enough for just chiming in with words of encouragement and wisdom. I will be re-reading all of this in the days to come there is just so much to take in. Thanks to you all and the info here I feel like I understood so much more of this initial meeting than I ever would have. What a blessing you all are.

  

Icietla

Hi bratmobile. I am so sorry about your diagnosis.

The partial mastectomy procedure takes more surrounding tissue than is typically taken in a lumpectomy. The term partial mastectomy can also be used to indicate the procedure also called quadrantectomy. Here is some very general information on the usual types of breast cancer surgery.

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/surgery/mastectomy/what_is

I believe radiation treatment is standard treatment following lumpectomy or partial mastectomy. Radiation treatment is also advisable after mastectomy surgery in many cases. Ask your Breast Surgeon questions to make sure you know what you can fairly expect as to your surgery and presently contemplated or likely treatment/s to follow.

Since your cancer is known to have an invasive component, at the time of your surgery, some of your nearby lymph nodes will be checked for cancer.

I expect you will feel better -- less stressed -- when you have decided on your surgery and it is scheduled.

Parkkr

I'm 1 day behind you as Just Diagnosed and scared beyond words!

what is BS? Obviously I have a lot to learn!

I travel tomorrow to get my biopsy results. This has been the longest weekend of my life for sure.

I've told only my husband (who has been exceptionally supportive) and gently warned my 3 college age kids that "I have a lump that Drs are "very concerned" about. They will be devastated tomorrow with the bad news. I really hope this doesn't derail their college studies.

I'm so glad you're sharing your story. Although reading everyone's horrific posts with 1cm tumors is making things worse. Mine is 2 cm so my treatment will be twice as bad I imagine!

Please keep posting as I'm anxiously following and learning!

This whole process makes me physically sick to my stomach. So many brave and courageous persons are here

Icietla

Welcome Parkkr. We are very sorry about the concerns that have brought you here, but we are glad you found us here. We all understand what a difficult time this is for you.

BS = Breast Surgeon.

We all hope you will have good news. If it is not good news, we will be here to give you real understanding and support through whatever you must go through.

Will your husband be with you for your appointment tomorrow?

Icietla

Parkkr, the size of mine (configured as grown) could not be determined. The only certainty about that is that it was "at least 2.1 cm." Most of my tumor was removed at the time of my excisional biopsy. The biopsy specimen held together only just long enough to be measured lengthwise. There was a little more tumor tissue left behind until my next surgery.

Since my surgeries, my treatment has been very simple -- just a little pill once daily, and continuing with some Calcium w/ Vitamin D tablets that I had already been taking for about fifteen years.

Give plenty of time and thought as to whether and with whom to share your news. [BCO is a safe place to share your experience. We are all brothers and sisters here who understand.]

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/152/topics/833272?page=1

Chevyboy

Okay now wait.... Park? .... Right? So like I told LilBrat.... Just slow down, and take it easy.... Doesn't do anyone any good to be afraid longer than one day........

And your kids will take it from you.... How YOU react around them, will show them if you are strong, or are just plain scared yourself..... Honest.... just make it matter-of-factly.

They KNOW how cancer is everywhere, and they don't want it taking their Mom. MY oldest Daughter said, in her panicked little voice... "Have them take them both off!" Well THAT scared me even worse than the diagnosis! Later on, I told her how THAT made me more afraid than I HAD been!

She explained "I would rather have my Mom than not have you at all"..... So she thought, understandable, that cancer would just plain do me in.

So it's been since 2009 that I went through that! And all is well! My tumor was small enough that my TEAM, thought a Lumpectomy and then the MammoSite device would straighten me right up.... And it DID! I had the Onco test.... That determines if you will need chemo. I was "low-intermediate"... So at MY age I thought "Oh hell no".... I mean I was diagnosed at 72, and if it wouldn't HELP me that much, then why would I get chemo?

So YOU are the one that determines where you want to go after the surgery. Sometimes these Docs get all caught up in themselves, and throw EVERY treatment your way, but YOU guys are the boss of your own body.

Chemo saves lives, and that is proven, but it can knock your socks off... It's not a walk in the park to go through, but SOME women need chemo.... Depending on the size of the tumor, the grade, and stage, and all the lymph-node thing.

Every one of us are different.... And OUR treatment is maybe different than what you have heard...

So don't go getting upset, and dreading what other people will think, because it just makes you more afraid, seeing their reactions! Maybe get a schedule, and a treatment plan before you talk to them about stuff you don't know yet.

Time will take you through this.... and you need to be strong, and not just for yourself, but for those around you....

The day I had surgery, my oldest Daughter had flown in from Orlando.... So she and her Sister, AND our friend, took "Dad" out for lunch, shopping, and who knows what else, and they had to be CALLED to come back to the Hospital, because I was done with! THEY were still out partying! And that is so much better than hanging around wondering and worrying about "Mom."

So you see? All of us have been through this....and we are here to help you get yourself up and going.

By the way...Icietla...? Is it okay if I call you Icedtea? I can remember THAT one easier...Hah! Good to meet you! And good advice for Park.

Also, LilBrat... Just research those drugs like Tamoxifen.... Talk to your Docs. If there are tests to determine if a certain one is right for you... do it! Each of us might react differently.

I was ONE in a million or (maybe less) that could NOT take Tamoxifen... but others take if forever it seems like. Pay attention to the "possible side effects"..... Same with the chemo drugs.... Docs know which type is best for YOU, depending on your diagnosis.

And Wren is right.... get copies of all of your results! Save all this stuff together, because you'll forget most things they tell you, as soon as you leave the office!

So okay... gotta go heat up my coffee....

Moderators

Parkkr, sorry you are here, but wanted to say welcome! We're glad you've found us and decided to post. You're in good company here and we'll try to help you along this path.

You're just starting, and everything is so new for you. You'll find many of the abbreviations used in the forums by checking the Abbreviation Key post (just click the link to go there).

Also, great advice for Talking to Older Children and Teens in our main page. Hope this helps! Please, come back and let us know how you're doing, we're thinking of you!

The Mods