Mom's story but advice needed - please read

Rosesgirl

Some details and terminology may not be exact but I'll do the best I can. My mom has been fighting breast cancer for 7 years, she was diagnosed in 2010 when she was 51 years old. She has one of the worst breast cancers you can be diagnosed with, called Triple Negative Breast Cancer. It has come back every 18-24 months since then, I won't go into every time and what happened because it would be the length of a book. I always felt like this cancer thing was going to be something that would flare up, and she'd fight it and that would be that, nothing would really happen. Through all these years, there's been ups and downs and up and downs. We were always told that the cancer was in her lymph-nodes, as long as it wasn't in a major organ, that was a good thing, scan after scan and it never was in a major organ- more cancerous lymph-nodes would pop up and some would even go away, we knew things were getting more serious because there was only one medication left for her to use to treat her cancer. That was scary but through it all, mom continued to be positive. Last summer, she started getting a lot of swelling in her leg, they couldn't figure out why, doctors appointment after doctors appointment, it was assumed it was from the immunotherapy treatment she was on - through the fall it continued and then it was both legs, then she started physical therapy. At Christmas things were great, mom was a little tired and the swelling was bothering her, but her and I cooked and she gave the kids all of their gifts. And then the week between Christmas and New Years is when everything started happening. My mom called me and had said her dad and I were on their way to a regular routine appointment with her oncologist, no worries, nothing to be concerned about, just a check up. The day before a check up my mom gets blood work. She called me a few hours later and said her kidney functions were off, they thought maybe dehydration, so they sent her to the hospital to fluids, after another blood test, something was still not right, they did a few more tests and discovered cancerous lymph nodes in her kidneys that were causing a blockage. They scheduled surgery right away to put stints in her kidneys. We were nervous about surgery but also positive because this meant that the swelling would go away-finally, they figured out what was causing the swelling in her legs. She had surgery. Afterwards the pain was awful. I have never seen my mom or anyone in so much pain. We thought it HAS to be from the surgery, it has to be, she wasn't having this pain before surgery! But whenever the doctors would come in, they would slightly shake their heads at the pain being from surgery, just enough to cause us concern that maybe it wasn't from surgery, maybe something else was going on. They wanted to do a special test in her back that would take a couple hours, we were told the cancer was in her back but just to pray it wasn't in her brain. Just pray, so we did, we kept praying. They never got to the scan of her brain because the scan of the back showed that the cancer was in her spine and not just in one spot, and that's when they told us that they can manage her pain but there's nothing they can do. Since that day, our lives will never ever be the same again. My mom is now home, hospice comes twice a week and we are caring for her and spending as much time with her as we can. They gave her 4-6 weeks and I I'm really confused. She looks great, she's walking, talking, I mean, she has a morphine pump but should we be getting a 2nd opinion? I'm so confused, she's only 58, she looks great, I just can't imagine 4-6 weeks. Is she just going to not wake up one day?

MinusTwo

Roses Girl - I've followed this same story on a couple of other threads so won't add more details here. So sorry for your Mother's issues. Yes, enjoy her company.

Meadow

Roses girl, I am so sorry your mom's cancer has advanced. I hope your hospice team can give you some clear and good advice. They are the ones who have seen your mom, knowing more than we do. They can help you recognize changes in your mom and what the changes may mean. Sometimes the professionals are way off on timing....I hope so for you. Please know we are here for you and her.

cmix01

I'm relating to your story - my mom is on her 3rd recurrence of triple negative cancer in 5 years. You mentioned that your mom did immunotherapy. Can you tell me any details about where and what she did? We are looking at all options and trying to wrap our heads around this.

Anything you can share would be so appreciated ~ cmix01