Realities of life and mortality - child guardianship (NY State)

JLS_76

As my wife and I have been carrying on with life through this waiting period, we've started addressing some of those topics that we generally don't like to think about, but need to: life insurance, disability coverage, wills, etc., and providing for our 14 year old daughter. The challenge is, our daughter is my daughter and her step-daughter, and our girl has a non-custodial father in another state. Legally, if I were to pass away, she would go to him. That part is already taken care of. But what we haven't done is identify guardianship if something were to happen to both her father and me, and we don't have anything in place for short term guardianship in the event of accident or significant illness. My wife, apart from being authorized by me to take her to medical appointments and pick her up from school, etc., has no legal footing to care for my daughter and I do want to make sure that no matter what happens, my kid has the most stable life possible.

The wife and I have already determined that we will be doing all of what we should have done before as far as making wills and ensuring we have coverage for accidental disability or significant illness regardless of what the outcome of this current waiting period is. We also need to make sure that our daughter is secure, both legally and emotionally. The permanent guardianship will be a negotiation with her father - (I want to make sure she has the option to stay with my wife so she can finish high school in the same place, regardless of who is identified as her guardian.) And, as a disclaimer, I will be working with a lawyer - but I do want to pose the question of other divorced parents of minor children: What kind of arrangements have you made for temporary guardianship of your minor children, especially if you are geographically distant from family? What legal docs are/were required to ensure your kids are cared for and not moved in case of your temporary inability to care for them?

MelissaDallas

This discussion isn't really isn't very pertinent to a "not diagnosed" thread.

I can tell you as a family law paralegal in my state, the spouse of a parent of a child with another party would have little standing in the court regarding the child unless the biological parent (father in this case) agreed to grant it to you, and/or was not legally qualified to determine the primary residence of his or her own biological child.

exercise_guru

This would be a very useful post in the forum where it talks about managing treatment and choices perhaps the mods could move it.

We attended a family estate community lecture to better understand how to provide for both of our children. I know it can be a very challenging thing. We learned that ideally you can set up a trust for your kids and have the life insurance go into the trust with your spouse being the executor. Also they talk about naming someone to care for your children if something happens to you. It was affordable in our state but yes it can be difficult to figure these things out.

JLS_76

Mods - thanks for moving this to the better board...

Melissa, that's exactly why I want to get something hammered out and in place. I was in the military and my daughter moved a number of times -about never spending more than a couple of years in one place. She's has now been in one school district with the same kids fir 5 years and does not want to move again.

Guru, identifying an executor is definitely on our list.