Looking for Support- Mom Recently Diagnosed

Bubblegum1286

Hey everyone. I've been reading the posts on BC.org for a few weeks now, and I can't tell you how helpful, supportive, and encouraging it has been for me when I don't know where else to turn. My mom called me on Oct. 10th to tell me she found a lump and was going to the doctor that afternoon. She was officially diagnosed a few weeks later. She has IDC, ER+/PR+ HER2-. She does not test positive for any genetic marker including but not limited to the BRCA1/2 genes. They did the wide panel check on her, and she didn't pop up with any of them.

They originally staged her at stage II, T3. However, since her CT scan, her doctor has bumped her to a stage III, which really confuses me because they haven't actually done any biopsy on the lymph nodes yet. He sees enlarged nodes (at least 2) on the CT, but there's no confirmation beyond that. His nurse even said that he can't definitively stage it until he does the biopsy on the lymphs, so why go back and forth between a 2 and a 3 every other time we see him? It's so confusing.

The CT also showed some nodules on her lungs, all smaller than 4mm, and the radiologist recommended we just wait and watch those. There's something on her liver, but both the surgeon and the MO say that they're certain it's benign, perhaps a hemangioma. However, now her MO is talking like he wants to biopsy it. She just started her first round of chemo last week, and got her first Neulasta injection on Monday. The thought that it may have spread to the liver or the lungs is absolutely shocking to me. We were told she had virtually the "best" kind of bc there is, and so thinking that it might have spread just didn't enter my mind. We don't know for sure that it has, but her doc seems very cautious and concerned.

Anyway, that's what we know. I'm struggling badly with anxiety and I'm having a very hard time sleeping. You know those dreams where you're walking and you slip off a curb and you wake up jerking or yelling? I've been doing that over and over all night. I'm so tired. My mom is divorced, so I'm her main person to lean on. I have young children and a husband of my own, but I want to be there for my mom. Not knowing is hard. I am a Christian, and I have a wonderful and supportive church family. My faith is important to me, but even then, I'm having a hard time leaning into my faith right now because my thoughts and worries are so overwhelming.

Thank you all for your support and the encouragement you've already given. I can't tell you how many times I have frequented other threads asking about stupid lung nodules in the past week. It feels good knowing that we aren't alone in this. And thank you for having a place for loved ones and caregivers as well.

Moderators

Hi Bubblegum, and welcome to Breastcancer.org.

We're so sorry you have to be here, but we're really glad you found us and are already getting some support and answers. Our Community is chock-full of amazing, helpful members who are diagnosed, as well as those supporting their diagnosed loved ones, like yourself.

We hope you find much insight and love here. Please let us know if you need any help at all while you navigate the boards. We are thinking of you and your mom!

--The Mods

muska

Hi Bubblegum, I just want to say how lucky your Mom is to have such a wonderful daughter.

From what you described it looks like she is in good hands. I wouldn't focus much on what stage she is assigned to in the charts because after all, it doesn't matter much as the chemo she is getting would be the same whether she is stage 2 or 3.

Speaking of the small lung nodules I was - and still am - in the same boat as your mom. I had multiple lung nodules all <4mm identified on the chest CT before I started chemo. They are still there 3 years later and unchanged. Such cases are rather frequent. They usually monitor lung nodules for up to 2 years to make sure they do not change (such nodules might be the result of prior infections and do not automatically indicate cancer.) If the nodules are still there after chemo and unchanged in size that's a good sign.

Spots on the liver that are hemangiomas are frequent too. Many people have them from birth, they are often coincidentally found and sometimes mistaken for mets. I had such a case in my family. If the RO says those spots are benign hemangiomas I would trust the doc, if you want an additional peace of mind you can show the images to another radiologist for a second opinion.

Good luck to you and your Mom!