Telling others and children

scaredashell07

I am awaiting biopsy and the. Treatment plan but doc is certain is cancer and spread to under armpit nodes. How do I explain to children and make sure they feel ok with asking us questions. They are 7 and 5. And I will likely do chemo so will have side effects and pr community will know. Do I tell friends and ask them to keep discreet from kids ears?

marie5890

Hi Ashell,

These are really good questions, especially since it looks like you have a high probability of getting a positive diagnosis.

Here is the link to the "Family Matters" forum where the ladies who have been Dx-ed deal with these kinds of questions. I bet that they will be a great resource and guidance.

Tresjoli2

scared...my kids were 3 (just turned) and 8 when I was diagnosed. I had to have age appropriate conversations with each of them. In essence, I told them I had "broken cells" and that once cells break, they have to come out. Then I would have to have medicine that keeps the broken cells from coming back. Then I mentioned that the crazy thing was, I had to get sick before I could get better. I made it humorous for them "can you believe my hair will all fall out..giggle" so when it happened, they weren't afraid, they thought it was funny. They both helped me pick out all my scarves. My son later said to me, I was OK because you were ok. Your demeanor will tell them what to think.

I also set a goal...when mommy is all done with treatment, we will go to disneyland. This was particularly important for my three year old who has trouble conceptualizing weeks and months. But she held onto going to Disneyland when my port was out.

At the hospital, a social worker can give you helpful material. Also, the American Cancer Society has great resources that are based on the child's age.

You can do this. Feel free to PM me.

Pamela