Just diagnosed tonight....

Anonymous

Just diagnosed tonight....

Dennyj

I am a 39 mother of 4 children under the age of 9 and I was diagnosed tonight. I am actually camping with my kids so I am trying really hard not to ruin this experience for them. I feel numb and disbelief and almost a sense of it being surreal.

I have been waiting for the biopsy results since Monday. When my primary doctor called me at 6 pm tonight she said that she had not received the biopsy report but called because she saw a summary of the report. She mentioned "rare" which scared the living day lights out of me. I am calling the radiologist tomorrow for more details. How can this be happening?!?

I just had a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound in January and it was all clear.

Denise-G

Oh, I am so very sorry. It is SO HARD before you know exactly what you are dealing with and have a plan in place

plus having only a little bit of information.

Can't imagine being camping and getting that news. Sending all my best. Word of advice - have paper and pencil

in hand when you talk to the doctors on the phone. And take someone with you to your appointments to take notes for you

because your brain goes numb and checks out as the doctors speak.

These boards are invaluable and full of amazing survivors who are thriving...all the best.

Meow13

I took lorazapam for anxiety it helped me cope. It is meant for short term use. You will find once you know what your treatmentvwill be and start it things will get much better.

tsoebbin

Try your best to breathe slowly and deeply when you feel overwhelmed. I'm sorry you're here but this is a great group and support/information is here at your request.

Hugs to you.

ChiSandy

Some of the least aggressive and slowest-growing breast cancers are “rare.” (Actually, they’re much rarer than the aggressive ones). No need to jump to conclusions yet. Your childbirth-breathing exercises will be an immense help for stress & anxiety.

Dennyj

thank you everyone for your kind words. I feel like I am in an outer body experience. I am very scared -

Thank you

Happiness2point0

Hey Dennyj,

I am 38, no kids and was diagnosed yesterday at about 12pm. Stage2.

Be strong. We will make it through and come out stronger.

Best

Germaine

mara51506

So sorry about your diagnosis Dennyj.

Having been diagnosed twice myself, it is incredibly scary to hear the word cancer.

As others have said, write things down you are told, take another person with you. Doctors will give you all info needed and provide treatment plans for you. Once that is set, it is easier to get on whatever treatment plan they give. Early days will be scary for sure.

Other things, do not look up stats for survival through google since they are scary and will not apply to you directly. You came to the right place for support, this site is great for people at any stage of treatment both for some emotional but also support at different stages of treatment too. I remember being helped a lot when it came to dealing with side effects from either drugs or radiation. It will be a long haul but eventually you will come out on the other side.

The support here is amazing no matter what stage you are at and glad you found this site. The main site also has many good articles as well to help. Sorry you had to join us though.

Moderators

Denny and Happiness,

We're so sorry you both had to join us, but really glad you found this amazingly supportive and informative Community. As you can already tell, we've got some pretty awesome members here, always wanting to help.

We're all here for you -- please come back often, share and ask questions.

Big hugs,

--The Mods

Dennyj

Thank you to everyone. This has been surreal....

I am telling my family tomorrow. I never told them about the ultrasound/biopsy bc I did not want them to worry. I did not tell them yesterday bc I wanted to have more answers....I honestly thought it would be like the other times...:I know my parents and siblings are going to be sad and that hurts me.

I am just having a hard time grasping the reality of my situation. I am the type of person who rarely gets a cold!

I appreciate everyone's kind words and encouragement. Thank you.

Dennyj

Happiness2p,

I am so sorry about your diagnosis. Hang in there, I am thinking of you.

magiclight

Dennyj; I know this is a most difficult time when you do not have all the information, feel alone because you are not ready to share partial data with family, etc. You will be able to process information as it comes it and as other have said, have pencil ready, find a supportive friend/relative accompany you to appointments and don't forget to breath. ((Hugs to you)))

LoveMyFamily

Thinking of you, Denny & Happiness... I know that surreal feeling all too well. I was diagnosed in June. Have 2 littles. It's about 10 weeks since and I'm now considered cancer free; I've had surgery and completed a course of radiation and will start taking Femara soon. I feel like I missed a summer with my kids, as I was off doctoring so much. But, I feel like I did/am doing what was necessary to be there in the long run for them. It's a scary time for both of you right now, but as you know more, and garner more support here and around you, you will feel more in control. Here's to happier, less scary days!

Dennyj

Thank you to everyone for their caring words. I have been doing pretty well all day but right now I am quite a mess. I have kept it together all day for everyone else...maybe the shock of the situation is wearing off...tomorrow is a new day.

Michelle_in_cornland

You are going to be fine. You don't have all of the information and you have already done some preventative things. You have 4 children, so you have been a busy mom, probably breastfed some, and are otherwise healthy because you have to chase your four children. Being a mom, you probably have your kids eating healthy, so you probably eat healthy too. My advice 1) get a therapist first, 2) deal with the fear, 3) get an appointment with an oncological surgeon, 4) find out what type of abnormal cells you have (I have a hard time saying cancer.) 5) do research on the type of cancer and treatment. Chances are if it is rare, you willl get a brand new set of breasts that match and may need chemo (as the worst possible scenario.) Don't read more into what the doctor told you over the phone. They are not the surgeon and don't decide what is best for you. They deliver the results to you and your ob/gyn can help direct you to a breast surgeon. Many cancers are caught early today because of advanced technology and awareness. We are seeing alot more women and some men diagnosed early. If you have a sister or sibling that can take care of the kids for a while, give yourself a break to get your head around the situation. Can your mom come stay with you for awhile?

Anonymous

I echo Michelle's words above, and know that my own surgeon used the word "rare" when he dx me with ILC. Actually, it was just a poor choice of words on his part. It's the second most COMMON form of bc. Which, when I looked at it that way, made me feel a lot better. Like you, I was terrified by that "rare" use. Doctors sometimes just need to realize that choice of words can cause a patient a tremendous amount of unnecessary anxiety. I wish they'd all visit our discussion threads regularly because they could learn a lot.

And yep: you're going to be okay. This is just a temporary glitch in your long life, and you'll come out fine on the other side.

Hugs,

Claire

twintwin2

I'm so sorry for your diagnosis but remember that you do not have all the information yet so try not to let your mind get the best of you. I was diagnosed in June and had surgery in July. Had to have genetic testing too and the waiting was the hardest part. I am 42 years old and telling my identical twin sister, husband and parents was nerve racking. But they all took it well and continue to be very positive and supportive throughout all of this. I wish you the best and hope that you get more anwers soon. I know the feeling of being out of body or disconnected. I felt a lot of that in the beginning and still do sometimes. But it gets better as you get more information and a plan in place. Stay strong. You sound like a strong healthy lady who will overcome this.

Kaneli

Dear Denny, and Happiness....First, you are surrounded by many women who understand....From the first diagnosis (dx) through the ongoing process. I am not sure if you have learned the details of your situation, but don't let "rare" frighten you! There are many rare types of BC which have favorable prognoses. Hang in there. You will get your information, and begin the journey. I was diagnosed in Feb, had my surgery March 23rd, had radiation....and am moving on. I remember the beginning....the shock, the surreal aspect of it all. The falling apart time....Things are better now and somehow, the trauma takes a back seat, as you learn and educate and take care of yourself. Remember, you are far from alone. This site has been a godsend to many of us. Please be proactive as you move forward. A nurse navigator is often offered to BC patients, someone you can call with questions . Take advantage of her for her wealth of resources. And remember....there are a lot of survivors out here. You can beat this!