New to being single

Anonymous

New to being single

mdg

Hi Ladies,

I had BC over 5 years ago and had bmx with reconstruction. My husband of 12 years decided he no longer wants to be married. I am now finalizing divorce which seems to be taking forever.....but I am really ready to move on and start dating. I don't even know where to begin to deal with BC and dating. How/when do you tell a guy you had BC? Clearly if the relationship progresses you have to say something because our bodies are a bit altered. Just looking for support on this. Not sure how to date after BMX. Thanks!

leftduetostupidmods

I personally say that from the start. Not just because of the "body altering" issues but also I want them to be informed that, considering the fact that I had invasive cancer, there is a chance it would come back, so I think it's fair that they need to know that might happen down the road before they get emotionally involved.

After my former BF and I broke up after 4 1/2 years (long story) I allowed almost a year to go by before I started dating. Mainly because 1. I did not want to be tempted to get in a rebound relationship, as those can be so damaging and 2. I wanted to recover and take care of myself emotionally, physically, spiritually, you name it. Kind of end a chapter and start a new one, but I wanted to be again the strong woman I was before BC. Due to the fact that there were other family issues that happened right about when ex and I broke up (my father dying being just one of them) I was fairly shattered inside. So I went ahead and spent a lot of time on losing weight, changing diet and lifestyle, getting fit, redecorating the house. in a word, getting ready for a new beginning.

The dates I had were both with men I encountered at various local events as well as online. To be very honest, I preferred the online - you manage to know a little bit about the person before you meet them - I'd exchange quite a bit of messaging back and forth, then go on a video-chat service like Skype to see if there was any attraction, and only that would I go on a face-to-face date. I did not find yet "the one" but that is just because I am extremely picky and this time I don't want to settle for less.