Fair is where you get cotton candy

DragonWarrior

I was diagnosed six years ago with Stage 2 ESS (Endometrial Stromal Sarcoma) a rare uterine cancer. It's been a long road since. After I passed the five year mark I finally took a deep breath and started to feel I had a future instead of a death sentence in front of me. Now my doctor suspects I have another - IBC. Find out tomorrow for sure. I am scared to death he is right, but even more scared that this time I don't have the willpower left to fight.

barbe1958

We get that. It's tough to keep going sometimes. But, you don't have to be brave, you just have to show up. Good luck, sweetie. Please let us know here what is happening.

Gentle hugs....

Sherlocked

You're absolutely right. There's nothing even a little bit fair about this. I'm really sorry you're going through this and hope you have an infection rather than IBC.

As for whether you can fight or not, well, there's only one good thing about IBC - or at least, something you can spin as good. You don't have a lot of time to sit around and worry and think before treatment starts. If worst case is true, remember that you're in control of what medical treatments you receive. You are the boss of you. But one step at a time; there are many more false alarms in IBC than confirmed diagnoses.

DragonWarrior

Thanks for the hug barbe and the reminder Sherlocked - I needed both. Leave in 5 minutes to have the tests done. Now to put on my happy positive warrior face for my sister who is going with me for moral support. I will let you know what the results are.

barbe1958

You don't have to be "positive" for anyone! It's bullshit and only urged to make the other people feel better. If you want to be afraid, be afraid with us as we get it.

Mominator

Sending strength and prayers as you get your results.

tangandchris

Thinking of you....don't worry about what you are "supposed to be", just be.

((hugs))

DragonWarrior

Thank you all, for your support. I had a diagnostic mammogram today, after reading that they sent me directly to the Ultrasound. After reading that they sent me to the Radiologist who told me that they found three masses - each one not large in themselves but they are spread out in a ribbon over 9cm apart right under my nipple pulling it inverted. The Radiologist sent me to have biopsies of the two farthest apart on either side of the nipple and the lymph node in my armpit. THEN after all the BANG! BANG! BANG! rush they say it will be two weeks before I get the results. In the meantime my mind is going wild as to what the unwanted trio is doing. Are they -gorging on my stromal cells and growing bigger? -inviting in friends? -having a party in my lymph system? -dividing and conquering?

I called and left a message for my ESS oncologist asking if perhaps I should start downing the Anastrozole (generic Armidex) in the meantime to keep them in check. Hate to think of all the side effects I got from it coming back, but at least I will feel I am doing something proactive to help myself.

BTW - after all the appointments we sat in the car and my sister let me have a good cry on her shoulder. No happy face needed, just a lot of hugs and hair patting going on. Then I went home and hugged my dog.

reflect

Oh DragonWarrior, I am so sorry you are going through this again. Sending a warm hug and wishes for fast and good results of your biopsies. None of this sh*t is fair.

barbe1958

Hugźzzzzzzzzzz

Moderators

Hi Dragonwarrior,

Just letting you know we're all thinking about you, and hoping for the best. Please keep us posted as you know more!

--The Mods

bride

Dragonwarrior,

Sending you good thoughts and {{{HUGS}}}

bride