Mother Just Diagnosed and I'm Falling Apart

Anonymous

Mother Just Diagnosed and I'm Falling Apart

Roselev

Just found out yesterday that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, although we don't know anything more yet besides they only saw the single lump and it's relatively small on the diagnostic mammogram and u/s. I feel like I'm handling it worse than her. I'm due with a little girl any day now, so not having my mother here to support me and my not being able to physically be with her and support her are tearing me apart. I feel incredibly selfish for not being stronger, but also not able to enjoy the end of my pregnancy/look forward to the baby's arrival because this is weighing so heavily on my mind. My mother is my best friend and I'm her little girl, so having a little girl of my own with all this happening just feels so wrong.

Basically, just feeling heartbroken, but would love any guidance or advice on how I can best support my mother.

Fallleaves

Roselev,

Breast cancer is scary, and a lot of what you see on the discussion boards may scare you, too. But the truth is breast cancer is something lots of women get, but far fewer die from. The odds of getting breast cancer are 1 in 8, but the odds of dying from it are 1 in 36. So the vast majority of women who get breast cancer DON'T die from it! If it's caught early, like it sounds like your mom's was, you can be completely cured by treatment.

It may be an overwhelming time for your mom, but having you there giving her love and support is her biggest ace in the hole. The odds are very good your mom will be there to see your daughter grow into a woman. Don't feel selfish focusing on the birth of your little girl. Having that to look forward to, and take her mind off of treatment, is a huge gift for your mom.

Roselev

Thank you for your kind response. Pregnancy hormones are certainly contributing to my current outlook, and although getting such news is inevitably upsetting, as someone said to me, the timing is just extra horrible. The not knowing and lack of control, regarding both when my mother will find out more information and treatment options as well as when I will go into labor, has made me feel helpless and alone, especially since the person I usually turn to when I feel this way is my mother! Again, thank you for your response.