Post treatment thoughts...

teach6

8 months of surgery, chemo and radiation and then DONE... 2 weeks post treatment and I am still in limbo. "Are you finished?" "Have you celebrated?" "Now what?" "Can I take off #DuffTuff bracelet?" "Aren't you glad it is over?" "You're good now, right?"

I haven't celebrated, I'm still wearing my pink bracelet, it's not over, I don't feel like I'm good. I think I figured out why... After handing my life over to my doctors, after trusting them to cut, poison and burn me, after sharing 8 months fighting to survive, at the end, no one told me that I'm ok. "Your scars are healed- I'll see you in 6 months" "You finished 20 weeks of chemo- ring the bell" " Here is a certificate for 33 radiation treatments- way to go" " Let's leave the port in for awhile, just in case it is needed again" "No reasons to scan/test unless you have problems" " I need to see you every 3 months" "Go live your life" "Hot flashes are just part of your life now" "NED at this time"

Although I know I have done everything I could to kill this cancer, I wish I could be told "You are OK" even if it is only for this moment.

Thanks for letting me share

SelenaWolf

It sounds trite and cliché, but ... time. Only time will help you sort out what just happened to you and how you want to move forward. Everyone goes through this; some work through it faster than others, but there is no right way to do it. Just take a deep breath, be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time for a while. You've been through a lot. Allow yourself to grieve a little.

keepthefaith

Unfortunately, I think it takes longer than we wish it would. Most of us aren't told that there may be emotional scars that come from the DX and TX...so, it's the gift that keeps on giving...Best wishes moving forward. You'll get there and pretty soon, you will be cheering someone else on!

ChiSandy

9 months out--dx early Sept., lx late Sept., rads most of Nov. and 5 mos. in to my at least 5 yrs of letrozole. How do I manage living with bc? Well, I don’t think of it as dealing with cancer so much as it is with the effects of treatment. I got stage 0 lymphedema, so I take all the usual precautions (massage, avoiding infections, using compression prophylactically when indicated, trying to lose weight). And what I’m dealing with now are the side effects of AI therapy--for me, mild compared to other women (trigger thumb, slightly sore-er joints, night sweats, and slow metabolism). That and keeping appointments, and becoming more aware of my body and being proactive about potential problems. A case of seborrheic eczema on my face sent me to a dermatologist for the first time in 25 years and led to a mole-mapping session, with two being removed (one on my face totally benign, one on my back a pre-melanoma in situ, no further treatment). So now I have become religious about sunscreen as well.

I do admit (ashamedly) to playing the “cancer card” on those occasions from which I’d prefer to extricate myself--such as telemarketers, fundraisers, turning down un-sheltered outdoor summer gigs, and especially carrying stuff, since my LE doc has me under weight-carrying restrictions. Because of AI exacerbation of arthritis, and LE-related restrictions on toting heavy carry-on items, I do now request wheelchairs in airports, despite being able (and advised) to walk as much as possible when unencumbered. One instance I regret I must play it is blood drives: having had cancer makes me ineligible. And I have had to put my hobby of wine-drinking-and-tasting on the back burner: when fine dining, I used to enjoy a glass each with appetizer and entree (and at winemaker dinners, at least an ounce or two of a different wine with each course); now I have to limit it to half a glass per day. And when I go to tastings, I swirl, sniff, take one sip, spit and dump out the rest of the glass (saving my 1-2 oz. at the end for my favorite of the session).

Warrior_Woman

2 years and 9 months since diagnosis and I'm only now thinking I may taper off attendance at my support group. As time passes I am less focused on researching, worrying and believing I have a recurrence. I am still chasing the SEs and still have moments of total terror when I think something is wrong. A month ago I adopted a large breed puppy. He gained 12 lbs. in one month. He's the best distraction and therapy I've found.

breathe

Oh I know!! Plus it's something you are struggling with alone. Everyone else seems so ready to move on. I remember wanting to celebrate or somehow recognize my anniversary, but I guess when it came down to it I just wasn't ready. For me it was about 14-15 months after my last treatment that I felt like myself again. Give it time and take it easy. I think that the longer it takes the more time you needed to take it easy. It's a slow process and you are ok. You were cancer free ever since your surgery. You ARE OK and someday you will feel it too! I've been blogging my post cancer journey. I think it helps me work through a lot of the emotions and maybe helps me find some purpose for having gone through it all. Sharing with others who need support has been cathartic. Take your time. Make your new treatments long walks, hot baths, massages etc. You've been through a lot and you need some pampering now!

{{hugs}}

If you want to follow some of my post cancer journey my blog is at www.zenditty.com

breathe

Oh I know!! Plus it's something you are struggling with alone. Everyone else seems so ready to move on. I remember wanting to celebrate or somehow recognize my anniversary, but I guess when it came down to it I just wasn't ready. For me it was about 14-15 months after my last treatment that I felt like myself again. Give it time and take it easy. I think that the longer it takes the more time you needed to take it easy. It's a slow process and you are ok. You were cancer free ever since your surgery. You ARE OK and someday you will feel it too! I've been blogging my post cancer journey. I think it helps me work through a lot of the emotions and maybe helps me find some purpose for having gone through it all. Sharing with others who need support has been cathartic. Take your time. Make your new treatments long walks, hot baths, massages etc. You've been through a lot and you need some pampering now!

{{hugs}}

If you want to follow some of my post cancer journey my blog is at www.zenditty.com

Valstim52

I feel like I've been dropped off a cliff. Rang the radiation bell, horrible burns, see ya. Will see my MO in September, to do what? I'm TN so no more treatment unless it returns. No routine scans. She told me to make sure I have a good PCP for non cancer related ailments. Oh and I have LE