Running a daycare and trying to work

Mom2fourplusmore

I own a small daycare and run it as a sole provider. My daily life is constant organized chaos. You always have to have your full attention on the kids. Things can go wrong if you are even in the bathroom. Now I have put in the chaos of cancer. My diagnosis is so minor (stage 1 grade 1 IDC) but I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I get a million Dr calls a day with a lot of information that I don't understand. I have had a couple weeks to process all this information. I'm supposed to make a decision that may determine whether I live or die with a ton of random information that I don't even understand completely. My Drs have 30 years in this job and they want me, who has only had 2 week and no medical school to make that decision. Why does that make sense? And I'm supposed to do this while I'm caring for 12 kids. This feels impossible. People say they worked all the way through all this. All the Dr appointments. All the treatments.. And all of my kids school events. The exams, the graduations, the field trips, all of the sports games and banquets, the parties and teacher gifts. Am I the only one that can't do all this? I can not juggle all of thi

Anonymous

Momof2plusmore,

Post dx was the time for me to call in my support: my family, friends, husband, daughter (she's grown). My husband took notes when I went to the doc (you could have a friend or see the nurse navigator suggestion below), so I could research and make good decisions. Your docs I think don't expect you to choose, but they do offer you options for tx and work with you to get you the best one for your dx. You can ask them questions: "what treatment do you suggest as most effective for my status?" And if you trust your doctor, you can just say okay. I got a second opinion to compare to what my primary oncologist recommended, and then found they were recommending the same thing, so then I felt comfortable I was getting the right treatment from the first one. Once you figure out treatment the doctor appts don't happen so often, from my recollection. Not everyone gets chemo, or surgery, etc, especially those who have minor dx as you. I had everything--and I got through it, scared and shocked and overwhelmed as I was in the beginning. I understand.

I think there are nurse navigators at cancer centers and hospitals that can walk you through all this. They are like medical mentors, and extremely helpful and supportive. I didn't need one but others here have used them. Then you don't have to do this alone and they can explain things to you in normal English, help you understand why this might work, and offer other support services too. Call your doctor asap and asks for a nurse navigator recommendation who specializes in cancer, you might have to call your local American Cancer Society after talking to your doctor or local or regional cancer center to find one.

Take heart that your dx is minor and all this will pass--it's just temporary and a bump in the road. A gigantic bump, yes, but you will get through this and be okay.

Hugs, Claire

ashley29

i was just diagonosed with breast cancer on Tuesday. I am 29 years old and a single mommy to a 4year old little girl. I also run a daycare whichis my sole income. Im scared just like you. Im not sure how im going to do this. Im struck by fear and cant stop crying. Being a daycare provider is hard work.

Mom2fourplusmore

ashley29, the first month is really difficult. There were a million appointments. I was able to double up on appointments on some days so I wasn't out of work as many days. My biggest piece of advice is to get an assistant. That is the key. I know you don't make much money to pay someone but instead of losing all your income you can keep your business in tact for when you can be there 100%of the time. A lot people do great with the treatment and they can keep going. And just remember that breast cancer is treatable. You will get through this. You can message me anytime

mustlovepoodles

I'm sorry to hear that you have breast cancer. Right now, you are in that terrible abyss of not knowing what to expect. Once you see your oncologist and get a treatment plan, you will probably feel much more in control. Just remember that the majority of women with early hormone receptor positive BC can be treated with a lumpectomy, 5-6 weeks course of radiation (about 30min a day, 5 days a week) plus a hormone inhibitor, like Tamoxifen, Femara, or Arimedex. Some have to have chemo. I did. I have 4 treatments 3 weeks apart. It wasn't fun and I did have to take a few days off over those 3 months. I ended up needing a bilateral mastectomy, so that complicated everything. But I got through it.

I strongly agree with the above suggestion to bring in an assistant once you have a plan. It may turn out that you only need her part-time or on call, depending on your treatment plan.