Concerned Husband

Trapt

My wife who I dearly love has stage2 her2+ clear PET scan and no sign of cancer in nodes. Was advised on doing a mastectomy and chemo. She suffers from severe depression and is on the maximum dosage. I honestly believe she would become suicidal going through the psychological effects of chemo. I recently visited with her psychiatrist to discuss any options and unfortunately he had no solutions. I believe we're going to do a double masectemy and refuse chemo. Am I wrong for thinking this? Thanks for any and all input.

Truly worried

farmerlucy

I can't speak to the chemo but the bilateral mx and the dx alone threw me in to a major depression. You are so wise to try to be proactive about her care. The other side of the coin is that I did not do Tamoxifen for a year but started because the idea of not doing all I could to prevent recurrence was worse than taking the pill. I'm sure others will come along with more ideas. Best wishes.

NancyHB

Trapt - I'm so sorry you find yourself here, but I admire your strength and determination to help your wife make the best treatment choices possible for her. There are other threads on our site that may be helpful to you, including being diagnosed and having a comorbid condition (such as depression):

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/142/topics/796282?page=1

It would be important to discuss with your oncologist the risks and benefits of chemotherapy - both physically and psychologically - especially given your wife's Her2+ status. If your wife wishes to skip chemotherapy, she may be able to complete targeted therapy such as Herceptin, which reduces her chance of recurrence. Herceptin is usually given in conjunction initially with at least one chemotherapy drug, but your oncologist can speak to the options your wife may have.

Doing chemo may be very challenging for her, but on the other hand the chance of recurrence without chemotherapy may be just as scary for her. Is her psychiatrist well-versed in the risk/benefits of chemo in her particular diagnosis? If he can gather information, perhaps from your wife's oncologist, he may be able to guide her through an informed decision-making process.

Good luck to you, and I hope you're both able to get the answers you need to make the decision that is best for her physical and mental health.

Moderators

Hi Trapt, we wanted to send you a warm welcome to the BC.org community. We're sorry for you and for what your wife is going through... but really glad you found us!

Great suggestions from NancyHB and farmerlucy. If it helps, we would like to add another thread that you may find interesting. It's called The Husbands Corner (for family, friends, boyfriends, ect.), you may want to post into for support.

Wishing your wife and you the best.

The Mods

Maureen1

(((Trapt))) so sorry you and your wife are faced with this challenge along with depression....No one can predict how chemo will effect our emotional health but...for me, the chemo and lumpectomy were psychologically less difficult than the bilateral mastectomy. It was and still is tough to deal with the body image changes of mastectomy. I do not regret the mastectomy but it is disfiguring to lose both breasts and nipples...I'm sure others will share their wisdom with you as you make your decisions, you are in my thoughts and prayers...Maureen