Presurgery concerns about toddlers

Hopeful07

I have two toddlers - 2.5 year old girl and a boy who just turned 4 as well as a 10 year old. I'm concerned about the little ones especially for not being able to do things for them, like bathing them or sleeping right next to them. I am separated and do not have any family nearby. My parents will be coming over to help for a few weeks but do you think that I could sleep next to the little ones after a week or so? I pretty much sleep with them every night and want to continue as long as I am able. My doctor told me that I should be able to but to be careful with drains. But I also have been told by others that won't be possible.

Looking for any insight from moms out there.
Thank you.

Skittlegirl

I was able to continue bathing my toddler. I couldn't carry him to his room so he had to walk. Getting him on the changing table was something I gave up on immediately after surgery and just used the floor. Eventually we went back to changing table, probably within a week of surgery and I just let him climb up the drawer knobs and kind of heaved him up there and quickly lowered him back down. Probably not ideal by my surgeon's standards, but healing has gone well and I got one drain out at 8 days post-op and the other at 15-days.

Sleeping, I slept in a recliner the first night home and then just slept in my bed. I would probably wait until at least one drain is out before sleeping with the toddler again. I slept flat on my back until I could get a drain out and then was able to start sleeping on my side again.

Hopeful07

thank you for your input, skittlegirl!

Tresjoli2

so I did not have drains. But I had a two year old. I started before surgery teaching her things. I taught her to climb out of the tub. I taught her to climb up on the change table from the bed. I moved snacks and drinks to a bottom drawer in the fridge so she could reach. I also enlisted my 8yo to help. He was very eager to do something to help mommy. Good luck.

Hopeful07

Thank you

JCS28

My kids were 4 years old and 6 years old at the time of my double mastectomy in December. I talked to the 4 year old a lot about how I would not be able to pick her up for a very long time. I only laid down with her to get her to sleep, but I think I could have slept in the bed with her after 1-2 weeks. I used a lot of extra pillows though. It would be more uncomfortable with the drains but I think you could still do it. I had my drains for 2 weeks.

Also, bathing my kids was difficult with all the reaching and moving my arms. I have been teaching them to do it themselves. I basically just stand in the bathroom and tell them "wash your legs, now wash your arms", etc. Then I only have to be involved for a quick hair wash, but I'm still there with them.

Also, my 4 year old was VERY curious about my drains. She called them "pipes"! I was sure to include her and show her all my scars. I think it made it less scary to see it and talk about it calmly rather than keeping it all a secret.

As I've said a million times now, having cancer at a young age (I was diagnosed at 39) SUCKS, but makes getting through it all easier. I have recovered very quickly from everything so far.

Good luck!

Hopeful07

thanks for sharing your experience, JCS28