Hair loss: coping and talking to your kids about it

HRwinter16

hi everyone!

I'm in the chemo March 2016 discussion group and its so helpful!

I wanted to start a separate thread focused on the challenges of supporting our children through this process - particularly the aspects of chemo that change how we look. It makes the cancer more tangible and is a visible reminder of all if the difficulties of this experience. There are many layers to this, I realize, for me, but also for my daughter... The hair loss/wigs/scarves make this not just a personal and private matter, but one that is somewhat announced to others. I was prepared for that possibility for myself, once I learned I would have to do chemo, but was caught off guard when I realized the extent to which my daughter would have her own set of reactions - not just to me looking different, not like the usual mom, but also dealing with the other parents and adult figures at school noticing. She said she wants it to just look "normal" so she can "forget that this happened". She's nine, and was very strong and brave when I had my surgery (double mastectomy 6 weeks ago) but this has been a new challenge!

I'm hoping we can use this thread to share support and ideas

BlueKoala

I'm freaking out a bit about this, too. Particularly for my three-year-old daughter who doesn't understand what is going on. I guess it will make it more real for the other kids, too.


I don't care too much about any other side effects, or even about potential mastectomy, because I can keep that to myself if I want. I am such a private person, and hate that losing my hair will be like an advertisement for cancer. My friends and family are trying to reassure me that I wear scarves and hats anyway, and they look good on me, and that it will grow back and all that, but I LOVE my hair - hands down my favourite thing about my appearance. I have a lot of it, and it is long and curly. People are going to notice when it is missing!!!!

HRwinter16

hi bluekoala

Yes I agree - the hair loss really changes the privacy aspect of things. I really was comfortable sharing news with colleagues and friends but it's much harder when the appearance related side effects like hair loss force the conversation!

I hope you and your kids are doing ok. Sending hugs

Moderators

Hi ladies!

We now it's not easy... so we're chiming in here to recommend these articles from our main site:

• Talking to Young Children
• Talking to Older Children and Teens

Hope it helps!

The Mods

7of9

My son was 2 1/2 first go around and he didn't really say/notice much though stared when I wore a bandanna or baseball cap. I am so bummed out this time, once to have failed and have a recurrence at all lowers my prognosis, but hair loss is such a constant reminder. I am pretty good a sucking it up and faking it but it suuuuuuckss..... My son is 6 now going to be 7. I don't want to stand out at his soccer or baseball games either damnit! So it's either Xeloda or Taxotere (I find out tomorrow) and I will cold cap to try to keep some hair.