women over 50 treated differently

jen1

hi ladies maybe its just me but it seems that we that are over 50 are not treated the same. I don't mean necessarily our treatment. It seems younger women ate treated better. I feel like youngerwomen with BC are given more support and are not dismissed by the doctors or others. We older women are holding down a lot. Taking care of elderly parents / still working full time despite difficult treatment/taking care of grandchildren adult children./ many doing it alone. and we do it without whining

dtad

Im so sorry you feel this way. I haven't noticed it. Breast cancer is a disease of aging. The average age of diagnosis is 62. Although many young women are getting this dreaded disease, the risks definitely increase as we age. You should not feel dismissed by any means. Maybe its time to look elsewhere for treatment. Good luck to you....

glennie19

Actually, what I've heard on this board, is that younger women get dismissed all the time. **oh you are too young to have breast cancer, You are only 30, 35, etc ** We certainly know that there is no "too young for BC".

I'm sorry that you feel dismissed. I echo dtad: maybe it is time to find another doctor?

exbrnxgrl

Jen,

Another echo hear, the salient point being that women most often dx'ed with breast cancer are well over 50! I have never felt my age made a negative difference in my tx If you do feel that you are being treated differently, do find another doctor.

ChiSandy

If anything, I was taken more seriously once I hit my mid-50s: I got reminders from my PCP to keep my mammos & BSEs current, even more so than Paps & pelvics. But one reason some doctors seem to treat younger women’s breast cancer (once it’s diagnosed) more urgently and aggressively is that in young women it tends to be higher-grade and more aggressive. There’s a reason why some people give grade 1 & 2 node-negative Luminal A tumors (ER&PR+/HER2-) the nickname “old women’s cancer:” it’s much more common the older we get, and even though it’s 75% of all breast cancers, among those of us past age 60 or so it’s more like 85-90%. It grows more slowly in older women, and DCIS in older women is usually even less aggressive (though a friend of mine who just turned 70 was recently diagnosed with a grade 3 DCIS--but she hadn’t had a mammo since 1991). And at our age, cardiovascular disease kills more of us--whether or not we also have or had bc.

New-girl

Can you be more specific? Do you feel it from the doctors? Your friends? Family?

I was diagnosed at age 49. Now I am 53 and going through it again. The first time when I was seeing a PS, he made the comment I was 49 so making me look whole and pretty wasn't as important to me. I found a new PS super fast and was thrilled I did.

Maybe try to evaluate why you are feeling the younger women get better treatment. The younger women I know who have it are also dealing with small children and need lots of extra help and assistance. For me, my youngest is 17 and is very self sufficient. She can also drive me around if I need it. So to an outsider, I may not be getting much attention or help but I am really doing fine since my responsibilities are far different now than say 10 years ago.

Beatmon

My PS surgeon said there is no reason not to get implants.....you have thought about it for a year post mastectomy. You are healthy except for the cancer...you travel and have fun...62 is young these days.

Now, 2 years later post mets, not sure I feel so young, but I have always received the best of medical care.

Hopefully, you can seek out different providers

labelle

Jen wrote that she didn't necessarily mean in terms of treatment (medical treatment I'm assuming) but in how this crisis is perceived. Some people do seem to think BC is somehow more tragic when it strikes younger women.

I actually had a former co-worker say to me shortly after I was diagnosed, "Well, at least you got to see your children grow up. A lady at our church just died of cancer and left behind small children." Well, excuse me, but I was hoping for a life after the kids grew up and yeah, this guy is a dick. I didn't know my only goal in life was to get them raised and on their own-actually our youngest was only 16 when I was diagnosed and definitely not grown.

Perhaps because BC in older women is sadly now almost commonplace, it is only tragic and shocking to some when it strikes younger women. I don't know how widespread this kind of thinking is, but I believe it is there and maybe that is what Jen was getting at. This is a tough row to hoe no matter how old you are when diagnosed. It is horrible for women with small children, but it is also quite awful for those of us who are older, often with teens and sick/aging parents to deal with and care for as Jen wrote.

leggo

Funny you should bring that up. Quite some time ago, I was freaked out by what I overheard my onc say about that. I'm gonna look for the thread and put the link here.

leggo

Here's the link.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/55/topics...

Anonymous

Cancer is tough at any age, for any person to deal with. I've heard those "Oh you're too young" comments, even from my mother in law. But let's not get into that or I might give myself a hot flash!

My oncologist at first pushed me to do chemo regardless of my oncotype score simply because I was young (51, post menopause 2 years) and could handle it. After the score came back low risk, she was more sympathetic to my concerns and agreed that my decision was reasonable. I think it's important for doctors to know your story and background, and take into account your personal life before throwing the book at you so to speak. That's what I like about both oncologists that I saw before making my decision. They gave me the "standard" recommendation but told me that skipping chemo was reasonable and probably fine, we just don't know for sure yet. And doctor's cannot tell you to do something outside that standard recommendation (unless it's a clinical trial).

jen1

labelle you articulated so much what I was trying to say. Thank you for understanding.

jen1

We matter also

MargM

I feel I don't get great care, but I don't think the young ones are doing any better. I had an oncologist that was fantastic with all his patients, now I have one that's not. I do know that charities use younger faces most of the time, and some even specialize in serving young women (so they say). Not long ago a friend of mine, with a different kind of cancer, said she wished she had breast cancer because there is more support - an illusion probably, based on all the ads and the pink ribbons, making it look like we somehow get our bills paid, or better than relentless "think positive, drink water, get exercise" advice for all the side effects of treatment.

mustlovepoodles

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last summer, at 58. For the most part, I have received excellent care from my doctors (except for one bozo oncologist--fired him!) I have also been well supported by friends. Interestingly, my siblings have been a bit uninterested. I think they are afraid. I came up with 2 gene mutations which caused my breast cancer. I imagine they are worried about that. only one has been able to get genetic testing and she was, thankfully, negative. My DH and children have been great. My mother...well, she just is who she is. She's 82 and has no filter. She is very worried and her brand of "help" is to tell me all her stories of friends and family who got BC and DIED. Yeah, thanks Mom.