How long after BMX can I take a good guess at final appearance?

Jedrik

Hi all,

from the day compression bandages were removed I was worried about some saggy mini tits next to my breast bone and a general saggy appearance. The doctor in hospital told me it was all looking good, can't be done any tighter because then it wouldn't heal properly and give it some time. I'm an impatient person.

Today, two weeks after BMX, the radiation doc said: "There's no point in lying to you, it will probably stay that way. You haven't go enough fat to even out the surface."

It'd hate that. With a look like that I won't ever dare go naked again. Is there anything I can do?

Edit: Those weird micro tits are very visible in tight clothes, too. :-(

Jedrik

glennie19

Jedrik, It may still be too soon to tell. You could still be having post-op swelling. I would ask if this is excess skin, which can be removed. See how you look at the 6 week mark. A plastic surgeon who deals with breast recon, should be able to easily "trim" off that excess skin, I would think. I had consulted one about my excess skin, but then I developed truncal lymphedema,, so I have postponed doing anything about it. When you go, tell PS that you want the "10 year old boy" look.

Erica3681

Hi Jedrik,

I agree with glennie's suggestion -- a plastic surgeon could hopefully improve your outcome. As for the radiologist's comment about fat, I am thin and have virtually no fat underneath the skin on my chest after a bilateral mastectomy, yet my chest has a completely smooth and flat appearance. Hopefully, the same could be true for you.

ksusan

I just posted a set of my photos from 1-10 months post-BMX here. I'd call it mostly flat but not smooth.

littleblueflowers

Hmmm....first Mini Tits! Hahahaha sorry thats a great term. Second, my surgeon flayed me like a deer and i have no chest fat and am perfectly smooth except for rib bumps. You should expect the same if thats what you want! Good luck!

Jedrik

Thanks for your support, ladies.

I most certainly wanted the "10 year old boy" look, Glennie19, and actually, the main surgeon has special training as a PS, so I did expect an esthetically pleasing outcome, even if he initailly said most women regret going flat eventually and best leave some skin for reconstruction (I vehemently stated again and again that I would never reconstruct and gave reasons, too). Or maybe they left all that skin to give me full range of movement right away? Anyway, as far as mastectomies go it looks ok exept for that flabby stuff.

I don't really have another choice but to wait and see and if I need radiation, I'll have to wait even longer before anything can be done about it if it stays that way. It's a bit bitter to see that another try to make the best out of a bad situation seems to have failed at first try. On the other hand I'm not all that keen on having a knife taken to my body again. If I would never ever in my life need a doctor, surgeon, or nurse again, they could have my little toes, too.

Erica, love the site and the blog, both really did help when I needed to decide how to deal with having to have at least one breast taken off.

ksusan: Thanks for posting the pics. I'd agree with your judgement. Except for the weird mini tits I'm definitely flatter over all, but no way near as smooth. Smooth looks good.

littleblueflowers? How tight was the skin right after surgery?

ksusan

So interesting. My PS (37+ years experience) told me about half of women getting mastectomies don't reconstruct, and about half of those who do end up undoing it. It's the opposite of what your surgeon said. I wonder if it's a regional/cultural difference? Or one of them is wrong.

hsant

Hi Jedrik. I can absolutely relate to the "mini tit" experience. I had the same thing happen to me after all the bandages and compression bra came off, and I could get a good look at the results. In my case, I had developed seroma (fluid build up). It looked like my breasts were growing back. My bs drained the fluid with a syringe on both sides.

That being said, 2 months after my surgery my affected side looked smooth, tight and flat. However, the prophylactic side still had the excess skin/fat, thus the mini tit look. Plus, I had folds in the stitching, further making the two sides asymmetrical. I also like to wear tight tshirts, tank tops, etc. and you could see the difference in clothing, at least I could. My bs doesn't like to do cosmetic re-excision for at least a year after the initial surgery, but for practical reasons (insurance, out of pocket maximum being met) I went to a ps who specializes in in breast reconstruction, and had the surgery 5 months after my BMX. At that point, there wasn't any swelling. It was legitimately excess skin/fat.

BTW, I'm 5'7", and weigh between 105-110 lbs, and there was no issue with respect to getting rid of the skin and smoothing out that side.

I'm thrilled with the results, but keep in mind that it's impossible to get perfect symmetry, and being thin actually can accentuate this

okbecca

Interesting. My bs told me I was too fat to get the 10-year-old boy look. I basically look like an 80-year-old man, all caved in. Or, I might describe it as a truck tire track in the middle of a muddy road look. All I know is that it ain't smooth and is unlikely to ever be smooth.

I think things will change as I lose weight -- my bc is an estrogen lover -- and get in shape. But I doubt if I'll ever look like a 9-year-old boy. It will never be smooth. And I'm not going back for anymore surgery. I've enjoyed this cancer just about as much as I stand without adding any more fun-time romps with docs to the experience. If I never see another surgeon again, it will be fine with me.

I talked to a woman last week who is a year out from her imx (hope that's the right abbreviation.) She still could barely talk about it. Referred to herself as mutilated. Told me, "you'll get used to being mutilated."

Bah. I'm not mutilated. This is just me, my own body and my best chance for me to keep on ticking. I'm no different now than I was before the bmx. Them who don't agree can just keep going on down the road.

Now my doc did tell me that if I started looking like I was growing back a little breast to come in and have her pull out the excess fluid that was building up. Maybe you should have that checked out.

If that's not it, and you want ps further down the road, then I say go for it. Me, I'd rather eat dirt. But I'm old and married to a great guy and fat already. I will probably end up looking better after I lose weight and get in better shape than I did before I was diagnosed, even though I will be anything but smooth on top.

Whatever you do, remember that you have choices and that you get to decide.

Jedrik

Thanks for all the input ladies,

ksusan: I'd say you are right and my surgeon is just a bit biased towards his craft as I've read the same statistics over here, but I couldn't say because most women are hiding the absence of breasts.

hsant: Most helpful posting. It is very much like you decribed. My gyn, who has been through all of this herself and who I saw in the meantime, said better not to drain the serum as that might disturb the proper heeling process, though. She said it would just take a little time for the body to get rid of it itself. She was very pleased with healing progress and I guess she would be a good judge of that. And she mentioned that little bits of skin could keep stick out either end of the scars, but wait for six month before getting surgery revised. If this would become neccessary it would be a short and easy procedure which could be performed under local anesthetic. I still hope I can do without, though. With her being pleased about healing and not bothered by the serum under the skin I guess my level of "exercise" is ok. It's quite surprising to really feel how much one does need to use the breast muscles for the most basic things. x-)

Otherwise I'm still quite pleased with my new look. I never ever wanted to entertain the "mutilated" thought, I was - and probably still am - fixated on the new me. I looked at lots of pictures before surgery, searching my soul for what I could be content with. Maybe this is why I was so shocked about this - hopefully temporary - flaw. I think I can rock the new look. While I'm not as slim as you are I've got an athlete's body with a bit of muscle giving shape to my upper body.

okbecca: I share your sentiment about having had my fill of doctors and procedures. At one time I even mentioned to the psychooncologist I saw that they could have both my little toes, too, if I would never, ever have to see a doctor again. Unfortunately this can't be done but prostetic boobs definitely aren't in my future. For me going flat is the fastest and most authentic way to get back to life.

ksusan

I look at myself and think "saved!" rather than "mutilated." I liked my breasts, and I like the flat. I had a strong desire to limit surgeries. I'm glad for people who are happy for their recon, and glad that options exist. The photos I've seen of a lot of recons don't look like something I'd want. So I'm happy the flat option exists as well.