Just diagnosed

Heathet

I was just diagnosed with breast cancer . I'm feeling overwhelmed and just want a plan for treatment. I'm scared and not sure I can fully describe my feelings to my family. I don't know what stage or what type but I feel like my life has been put on hold - a waiting list. Any advic

mustlovepoodles

I'm sorry you're going through this. You're in the worst place right now--diagnosed but no plan in place. Over the next couple weeks you will learn more about your particular kind of breast cancer and that will lead to at least the beginnings of your plan. Most people find that when they get a plan in place they tend to calm down and get with the program. I'm not at all making light of breast cancer--it's a bugger. But, for me at least, knowledge is power.

At this early point in your journey, I would strongly urge you to stay off Dr. Google. There is a LOT of mis-information out there and really scary stuff. I have found breastcancer.org to be very informative and up-to-date. Once you have a little more info you might want to explore appropriate discussion boards here.

Best of luck to you. We all know that panicky feeling of being told we have breast cancer. I just want to encourage you that you can do this. It won't be fun, but you can do this.

StaceySue2U

I'm sorry. There are lots of people on here. Lots and lots of support and information. You're in for a lot of waiting and tests and more waiting and more tests.....but now that I've started getting treatment I realize it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

reflect

So sorry you had to find us, but we are all here to help and support. I know others will be along soon with lots of information and support. You can request copies of your records (imaging, biopsies, exams) and you'll find lots of information there, including the type of breast cancer (generally) and specific information about your cancer, all of which will guide your oncologist in making treatment decisions.

Please don't worry about rush to treatment from a medical point of view. Most breast cancer does not require a fast start. It took me two months to get an actual diagnosis. My treatment started 3 weeks after that.

I understand the emotional need to get started, yup. It's awfully hard. You could think about who will be your support team: friends, family, us. Some people offer emotional support (say yes), others offer food (say yes) and others will offer transportation when you need it. (say yes).

Keep us posted on your information as you get it. There are very knowledgeable people here who can help you understand it. Sending hugs and warm healing thoughts.

CJs-Cupcakes

So sorry to see that you have BC. It is very scary in the beginning. I was scared in the beginning. Not knowing is the worst. I felt better once I got what I call my play book. Once it was mapped out for me, I think I went into survivor mode. I can tell you it is no walk in the park. Meditation really helped me. Please know we are here for you.

Heathet

thank you

Moderators

Hi Heathet-

We just wanted to welcome you to our community here at BCO. We know it's all very overwhelming ans scary right now, but as you can see from the responses you've gotten here, you are not alone! We're all here for you as you begin down this road!

The Mods

ChiSandy

Heather, sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. What I urge you to do is to save every piece of paper your care team gives you (including printing out e-mails or messages in a patient-portal inbox). Start a notebook (looseleaf or Levenger “Circa"/Staples “Arc" punched). Keep the papers in chronological order. As you find out more, make sections for diagnosis, surgery, and any other treatments. Being organized, especially when your mind is racing around like a confused and terrified rabbit, is one of the best ways to get through this. And come here with your questions!

Heathet

thank you for the support - it's just so hard coming to terms with this diagnosis- the hardest part is telling people, I keep breaking down in tears .

StaceySue2U

I cried every time I said the word "cancer," for weeks. I kept thinking "Why should I even have to say that word?!" Every time I had to tell somebody about it or whenever anybody was nice to me, I broke down in tears. I'm an RN and have worked ER and ICU, rehab and home health/hospice but avoided oncology like the plague. I've had a cancer phobia for my entire life, refusing to get my mammogram because the fear of it was so bad. Then of course I found the lump. The fear and sadness were so terrible when I got my diagnosis. Every time I woke up in the middle of the night I remembered I had cancer and then had such a terrible time getting back to sleep. It went on like that for weeks. Then, I got my bilateral mastectomy. I slept about 15 hours the first night I was home and 12 hours per day for about 6 days after. Every time I woke up I thought "I have cancer. Oh, wait - it's gone," and went back to sleep. The only trouble I've had sleeping has been from discomfort from drains, and that is quickly resolved with repositioning. Today I'm probably going to have 2 of my drains removed and get my first fill in my tissue expanders. My margins were clear and my cancer is gone, the risk of recurrence is low, and I get to go back to my life.

You are at the beginning of a scary trip. It's like walking into a deep, dark forest - unable to see the light at the end of it. There is a light at the end, though, and you're on the right path and you have doctors and nurses and people on this forum to hold your hand and guide you on the path. You're going to be OK.

Heathet

thanks so much everyone for sharing - it helps to know I am not alone. I'm working on staying positive but my mind just seems to jump to all these conclusions. It's hard shutting down all those negative thoughts . My surgeon wants some more test results ( MRI and blood work ) from my GP and I'm finding it difficult waiting. I just want answers.

bernr1309

Hi Heather, I was just diagnosed as well on 2/23. I go to meet with all the doctors tomorrow to find a course of treatment. I just posted in another forum that I want a mastectomy and have my ovaries removed. I don't what this stuff ever to resurface.

We are here to support one another.

I have not told my father anything due to loosing my mother to gall bladder / liver cancer in 2013 and he is still grieving. I don't want to put anymore pressure on him with him being in another state.

I will keep you in my thoughts

mustlovepoodles

Heathet, It's not uncommon for some of us to take antidepressants during this time, especially in the early days. A lot of us had difficulty sleeping, jumpiness, periods of great sadness & weeping, and general anxiety. Sometimes meds can help us cope with the many challenges that BC presents us. Talking with a therapist can also help, especially if you don't have someone to share this with, or you choose not to share with family and friends.

I had very similar reactions when I first found out that I had BC. It was 4 weeks from diagnosis to lumpectomy and I was very anxious and sleepless during that time. Thankfully, my doctor was very understanding and put me on some meds that helped.

Heathet

thank you mustlovepoodles - I have been thinking about talking to my doc about an anti anxiety medication . I just want my mind to stop replaying the news over and over. This is week one for diagnosis and I hope the my lumpectomy will be within the next three weeks. It's not like in the movies where surgery is immediate! This is a process but I'll come out stronger.

Granny53

I have recently been diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Have had biopsy and MRI; however do not have MRI results until Tues when I meet with the surgeon. Although I am getting a lot of "heat" from others I am seriously thinking of not treating this. The reason: I have been fighting for my life for the past 8 years. Because of advanced scoliosis what was supposed to be 2 surgeries in 2008 has turned in to 20+ surgeries that have already left me with some long term problems. I am in complete bladder retention which means I have to use a catheter to empty my bladder, I am also in bowel retention which is causing me to use approximately 8 laxatives a day. Although I have no back pain (but very limited flexibility as I'm fused from C3-SI and iliac - which means my entire spine is fused with metal with the exception of the top 2 vertebrae in my neck) I am so uncomfortable and uncontrollable with all the laxatives that my quality of life is severely limited.. I am tired of fighting - maybe these problems seem small to you but living them day to day is terrible. I have promised my husband I would meet with the surgeon and see what he has to say (my husband lost a wife to breast cancer already) but I truly doubt I will go ahead with treatment. He isn't happy about it but understands as do my two children and closest friends that have seen first hand what all this has done to me. I appreciate this group and any comments.

Moderators

Granny, what a heartbreaking post. We're so sorry to hear you're dealing with so many medical issues. Please sit down with your doctor at least to discuss the options. Perhaps there is something that can be done about your quality of life, and also treat the cancer.

We can't pretend to know what you're going through, but we want you to know we're here for you -- no matter your decision. Please keep coming back and let us know how you're doing and what you decide. Welcome to our loving, supportive group. You're sure to get lots of great advice and support here!

--The Mods

LisaAlissa

Hi Granny53!

So sorry to hear about your troubles. And that your need to be here has added to them. Me being a busybody here, but I f you don't have a palliative care doc on your team already, you may want to add one. They focus on quality of life (note that they are not the same as hospice).

With someone focused on your quality of life, you may end up feeling differently about BC treatment.

But whatever you end up deciding, do come back and talk with us. And after you've heard what you BC team suggest, you'll be able to hear from women who have had the same (or at least very similar) treatments. And if you end up deciding against treatment, we'll support you in that too.

Hang in there...this post-diagnosis, but pre-treatment time is the pits. It will get better once you have a plan.

LisaAlissa

reflect

Ah, Granny, I am so sorry to hear of your difficulties, and to have BC on top of it. I agree with LisaAlissa, you need a palliative care person on your team, it could make a difference in your life. Your body is your body, and you get to make the decisions, however hard that may be for others. I hope your BC treatment proposal is an easier one, whether you choose to do it or not. Positive healing thoughts heading your way.

msphil

sending lots of hugs your way m prayers. msphil idc stage 2 0\3 nodes Lmast chemo rads n 5yrs on tamoxifen

CC-TigerDragon

March 17,2016Book

Heathet, I,too, am so sorry you are going through this, and you can do it.

I received the same diagnosis last August. I would like to double the caution of "stay away from Mr. Google", and stick to the factual and up to date information. Also, I think that searching through the most recent revision of Dr.Susan Love's Breast Book was very helpful in providing me information I needed to make good decisions. Good research and knowledge is also empowerment for me.

Also regarding medications, I know of several women who found antidepressants helpful when they were ready for them.

My advice to myself during the early post diagnosis time was: Pay close attention to the radiologists' assessments and reports. I had a diagnostic mammogram; ultrasound; then two MRI's. It was the excellent first radiologist who showed me my digital images and recommended the specific MRI.

Digest and reflect as much as you are able then keep asking questions. If you have a trustworthy advocate, bounce some of your thinking/questions off that person.

Sending you positive vibes,

CC-TigerDragon

Heathet

thank you CC-TigerDragon - I met with the BS yesterday and she spent 2 hours talking with me and my hubbie. She helped to put my mind at ease and we discussed treatment options. For me, it is a left breast mastectomy with a TE and then reconstruction on the right (also will needs TE) to make sure every thing is balanced. My surgery will be in about 4 weeks. I'm going to meet the PS Tuesday and genetic testing Thursday. Busy! I'm eager to hear the final date. Thank you for the positive vibes

heathe