Hard Not To Worry

Anonymous

Hard Not To Worry

786tex

I had 3D mammo and ultrasound today and now have biopsy scheduled for next week. Dr today said she is fairly certain it is cancer given what she saw and the fact that the changes in my breast came on so rapidly (1month). I had biopsy last year that was negative but not obvious changes at that time. Now I have what feels like large lump under nipple and in side of breast also heard her talking about 2 lymph nodes in that area. She said it is likely lobular or intraductal. Anyone else have changes occur that quickly?

Moderators

786tex-

We're so sorry you find yourself in this waiting game; it is truly one of the hardest parts. We hope your results end up being benign, but either way, we're here for you! Please keep us posted!

The Mods

heidi16

Hi, I had a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound today after discovering a hard lump in my right breast. The radiologist said the mass had jagged borders and is very likely cancer. Two months ago a breast exam by my PCP and screening mammogram were both normal.I am also scheduled for a biopsy and trying to keep positive.

786tex

Sounds like you are very much in the same place that I am. I know I am trying hard not to worry but when the radiologist tells you that, it is hard not too. Does it run in your family? It doesn't in mine but I guess that doesn't seem to matter anymore.

Logang

I wish you both luck! Know that this site is great for information, advice, venting, and support! Try to do something fun in the meantime to take your mind off of the worrying.

My mass did appear rather quickly. I do have an extensive family history of BC which prompted me to get early screenings. Had my last mammogram in May and found a large lump in December. Whatever your results end up being, you can get through this! Feel free to message me if you want to talk further!

heidi16

786tex: No family history on any side. The radiologist told me that the only other thing it could be based on the ultrasound other than a malignancy is granuloma mastitis (which is extremely uncommon - not very encouraging...). Had biopsies taken today...I try to act normal around my husband and toddler but when I am alone I break down and cry. Hang in there!

Logang: Thank you! Did you just have surgery or also radiation and/or meds?

786tex

Heidi. Mine unfortunately just told me to prepare myself since it was most likely lobular or intraductal cancer. I won't have an actual diagnosis until after they do the biopsy next week.

Logang: What type did yours end up being and was it still local? My biggest concern is that if it is positive that it has spread outside of the area since they saw problems in my lymph nodes on that side. I have no problem with getting a full mastectomy either way but really dread the idea of radiation therapy.

ChiSandy

I think the hardest wait for me was the two weeks between diagnostic imaging and biopsy. Could have been a week sooner (I needed several days off any meds that could cause bleeding, like my heart mini-aspirin, celebrex and fish oil), but I already had a continuing legal ed./gig trip booked to New Orleans and Scranton, followed by a Labor Day weekend folk festival whose writers’ rounds I was running). The radiologist said "by all means take that trip--you need those two weeks of normalcy and R&R. The mass isn’t going anywhere.” Those two weeks drove me nuts, because she pointed out the mass to me on the monitor while I was still on the table--that it was jellybean-shaped with irregular borders and wouldn’t compress beneath the ultrasound probe. While I was making the biopsy appointment I voiced my concern, but the nurse-navigator said “it is what it is, don’t make yourself crazy speculating.”

As soon as I got home from the biopsy, I went online and learned 80% of biopsies come back benign, but bubbling just beneath the surface from the time I left the breast center, all through my trip (in the lecture halls, taxis, restaurants, hotel room, streetcars, walking through the Quarter, flights, car, our org’s table at the folk festival--everywhere except on stage) was the thought, “I probably have cancer--the routine mammo report said 'focal asymmetry' that wasn’t there last year or the year before.” Didn’t help when the imaging report came back in my patient portal inbox while I was still in NOLA, the day after my gig: "7mm hypoechoic ill-defined mass, BIRADS category 4b.” I knew that the probability just jumped from 20% up to anywhere between 40 and 60%. The radiologist who did the biopsy (a sweetheart I could easily see myself having drinks or coffee with) reassured me “It’s tiny, you’ll almost certainly keep your breast if you want to, and it’s more likely than not benign.” A day later came my next chapter of unluckily “beating the odds.”

But I had thought the worst it’d be was DCIS--when my gyne’s partner uttered the words “invasive,” “grade 2” and “carcinoma" over the phone, a shockwave seemed to pass through me as if a bomb had gone off silently not far away. “What about hormone and HER2 status?” I asked. “All I can tell you is what I have in front of me,” she replied. “I hope it’s not triple-negative,” I offered. All she could say was “Me too.” My husband, son & I poured flutes of the pink champagne already open in the fridge and toasted, “F**k cancer--kick its ass.” Next morning, my gyne herself called to confirm, but she was able to add it was hormone+ and HER2-, with the largest core sample taken being 9mm long. “That doesn’t mean the tumor is that big, just that the samples, including surrounding tissue for comparison, were. And it’s the most common and treatable kind, and we’re catching it early.” That afternoon I made my appt. with the surgeon and indicated my desired surgery date. From then on in, believe it or not, it got easier. We were given from that point on, a definite time frame for every test result (surgical path report, Oncotype DX, genetic-mutation testing), and every result came in well within that time frame--and because of the portal, in writing without euphemisms, condescension or waffle-words. The surgical path report came back with “1.3cm” (nearly twice as big as on the ultrasound!) as the size--but the report was titled “GOOD NEWS! Your tumor is small, nodes are negative, margins are clean!”

You...will...get...through...this. And at some point, you will go through an entire day without thinking “I have cancer,” (or at least you’ll think, “yeah, yeah, but the world isn’t going to stop spinning just because of that”). And then you will know you’re a survivor.

heidi16

786tex: That is why we have the biopsies done, to get a definite answer so there is still a little hope they will come back benign. I admire your strength already thinking about treatment regimens, the surgeon said that radiation (daily for 2, 4 or six weeks) is always used after lumpectomy or mastectomy, however the side-effects are mainly local irritation of the skin. Please, share your tips on how to cope during this painful wait...

heidi16

ChiSAndy: Thank you for sharing your recent story. It seems like there was over a month between the surgery and start of radiation. Is there a reason for spacing the treatments?

Numb

I have been told by the Radiologist that my lump, which is the size of a marble, is more than likely cancerous.  She did a biopsy but I have to wait until Monday to find out what the result is.  The Radiologist then sent me in to a Surgeon who also said not to be shocked if this is cancer and he ran through lumpectomy with me.  So I guess the biopsy will just confirm what I have already been told.  Nobody told me not to speculate until the result was out but my guess is that the result is just to confirm my situation.   My lump has been detected before I even knew I had a lump so hopefully this is considered the early stages, but I just cannot help myself wondering how far this has gone already.

786tex

I sure do hope you find out today that it is negative. I know exactly what you mean about being afraid about how far it has gone. I feel the same way. I can handle if I have to have a mastectomy but it will be that much harder if it has spread to areas beyond the breast. I wish you the best today and let me know what the result is.

Numb

I got my result today.  I have ILC grade 2 and will have a lumpectomy next Monday and 2 lymph nodes removed for inspection.   I am nervous but grateful that I don't have too long to wait for the Surgery.  My Surgeon said this operation is 98% successful and if the lymph nodes are infected then 95% successful, so that's not too bad. 

ChiSandy

Numb, the usual recommended interval between surgery and radiation or chemo is 4-6 weeks, so that the incisions have time to heal and you can get enough of your strength back. In my case, I had an axillary seroma rupture and leak, necessitating sutures and two more weeks of healing. Timetable: surgery 9/23, seroma burst 10/16, initial radiation CT mapping scan 10/23, radiation simulation 10/29 and seroma suture removal 10/30, and first radiation treatment 11/2. So the interval was still w/in the ballpark, but had my seroma not burst I might have been able to start a week or two sooner.

Logang

Numb, I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis! I am glad that your surgeon isn't dragging feet. I was ready to get my surgery over with. I hated knowing that the cancer was in me! I wish you luck and sending prayers for a successful surgery and easy recovery!

786tex

Numb, my heart goes out to you. I wish you the best of success in your treatment and I am glad you don't have to wait long to get it started. Your good attitude will go a long way in healing. We will be think about you!

786tex

Hi Heidi, how are things going for you? Have you heard any news? I go in today for my biopsy (they are doing two areas) so I should know something by the weekend. Let me know how you are doing.

heidi16

I had biopsy Friday. They took from several sites of the mass and it wasn't painful. A bit tender after the anesthesia wore off but I did not need to take pain killers. The radiologist who took the biopsy gave me her cell phone number if I wanted to talk over the weekend (which probably indicates they are pretty certain about the dx). I have bad bad anxiety, constant rapid heartbeat and nauseous. I just pray that it is not too far progressed. Good luck on your biopsy and update us here afterwards.

Beatmon

Heidi, do you have any medication for your anxiety? Have you had anxiety before? Please call your Dr. For some medication if you don't have any. You need your rest. I'm so sorry

786tex

Heidi - I honestly feel like the waiting is the hardest part. Especially when people tell you not to worry and there is no way you can stop. I did read this today and it helped a little for me even though their problem seems minuscule compared to what you are going through: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/something-good-can-come-from-pain-and-struggle/ (you may read it and find it to be crap and that is okay- I think maybe the point to take away is that life is a journey and our experiences make us who we are or something like that I hope you hear soon!

__asher__

TX,

This ugly thing grew quite rapidly, but it's a grade 3. Last year, this time, a mass in the same area was declared a cyst. Right now it falls between a 4.9-5cm and it's cancerous. So, the quick growing thing is familiar to me.

I hate the waiting, too. Right now we're waiting for a PET scan next Monday.

__asher__

@heidi I hope you hear back soon. ((hugs))

Seedsally

Heidi I know waiting is the hardest part so far. I had a biopsy done last Friday and see my surgeon this Thursday. I am in agony. One minute I think it's nothing but then I remember the radiologist saying its a good thing you came when you did and I feel it must be bad. I had a regular mammogram, was brought back for special views of both breasts, followed by ultrasound of both. I have a 1" solid mass in my right one and microcalcifications in left breast. My right breast was biopsied Friday in the surgeons office. I am to have a stereotactic biopsy done on the 23 rd at the hospital. The roller coaster ride is so tough.

Moderators

Dear Seedsally,

Welcome and thanks for posting. We will be thinking of you. Keep us posted. The Mods

heidi16

Beatmon: I never had anxiety this bad before. I am breastfeeding so do not want to take any anti-anxiety medications...

786tex: Thank you for the link. It is certainly a good philosophy. How did the biopsy go?

Asher: That is upsetting they didn't catch yours last year! I have extremely dense breast and the mass did not show up on any mammograms (just ultrasound after I discovered the lump) so who knows how long it has been there for.

Seedsally: I hope you will have benign results of your biopsy! Did they mention if the mass had irregular or smooth borders? The majority of solid masses in breasts are adenomas which are benign but they are required to biopsy anything solid.

Seedsally

No Heidi but they said it had to come out or be treated. Two different doctors said that.

786tex

Heidi. Lots of fun at the biopsy. Sitting here now icing the areas. They did two spots in my breast which went as well as could be expected. They also did a biopsy on one of my lymph node but had a lot of trouble isolating one and were only able to get a single sample from it hope it was enough

heidi16

I have ductal carcinoma, grade 3, stage still pending...so scared. MRI and genetic testing will be scheduled before surgery.

786tex

Heidi I am so sorry. I know of nothing to say to make you feel better about that just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Beatmon

Heidi, so sorry for the IDC report. Come here often for support. There are so many sweet and smart women to help you through all of this. It sounds crazy, but it does get easier when your plan is in plan.

Love and support. Brenda