I am so scared please lift my spirits

rosierosie

I went for a stereotactic biopsy last week because I had calcifications on my left breast it was birads 4, the radiologists said it was 80 percents chance benign and 20 malignant. The doctor called today and said I have cancer, he just told me it was early stage and that he feels he has 100 percent sure he can get it all. He said to come in this week bring someone, he said it would take awhile, that he has a lot of options for me. this is all before I went to work. I was in such fog after he said cancer. this is all he said , nothing about what type . He said he caught it early any insights I am losing it please any advice or thoughts thank you

Blessings2011

rosierosie - so sorry you are joining this club that no one wants to join, but trust me - there are AMAZING women here who have been in your shoes. Everyone is here to help you, and this site is actually the only one my Oncologist said I could visit, as they had the most recent, valuable information.

The hardest part, aside from waiting for biopsy results to come back, is to deal with all the anxiety and fear our minds produce when we have just a "little" information.

Once you have met with your doc, hear more details, and learn more about your options, you will start to feel more in control over what's going on. Having a treatment plan makes it possible to take things one day at a time, one step at a time.

Take another set of ears with you - that's always a good idea. I had a spiral notebook where I wrote everything down. Ask your doc if they have a Nurse Navigator to help you. They are wonderful.

This year will be my five year anniversary. I was diagnosed in September 2011, and had my surgery in December 2011.

Wishing you the best!

Jackbirdie

What Blessings said. Exactly.

All I can offer in addition is a warm hug and the knowledge that you will never be alone here.

rosierosie

Thank you I am just in shock, I afraid of the unknown, the doctor said there was a lot of options what does that mean?

, I worried about everything will I be able to handle this emotionally and financially I have such a headache. I not married and I take care of my elderly Mom, so I just scared about my new future. I always see the pink ribbons and all the hope they bring thank you for your kind words.

edwards750

It will be 5 years this year for me too Blessings. DX in Jan 2011, surgery in March and Rads were done in August. It's a milestone for sure even though we know there are no guarantees.

Diane

badger

((rosierosie)) hugs from six years out.

I was also dx with BC after a routine mammo found a cluster of microcalcifications. This is a scary time and your mind goes in a thousand directions. Blessings said it well. Definitely bring a notebook to the app't and even better, a person you trust. Best wishes!

mara51506

I had the same sort of situation as you. At first, I was told it was just DCIS and would have mastectomy and reconstruction. Then it was found to be Stage 3 meaning chemo and radiation. I am still in treatment, getting Herceptin every 3 weeks until September. I want you to know this is my first post and I wanted to tell you that this forum is AMAZING support, even if you don't post you can read something that may have helped someone. It will take a long time to digest everything you are being told and definitely you want to have someone with you. Notebook is a must. Write down any question that may pop into your head. Do not consult google for survival stats or scare yourself looking up different things online. Trust you onc and if you don't like that one, get a second or even third opinion. You will feel may things as you go along, all of which are normal. Ask people directly for help. ie "Can you make dinner, pick up kids, clean house etc". People will want to help, it is easier if they know. Most of all, get help from an antianxiety/antidepressent if it becomes necessary. I am only a year out from my initial diagnosis and am still dealing with things. Best of luck. Everyone here is wonderful and I have been helped even just by reading different topics depending on which phase of treatment I was in. I know I have missed a lot but wish you all the best with everything. Hugs. One day at a time.

StaceySue2U

I am also newly-diagnosed and mine was not caught as early as it sounds like yours was caught. I cried and cried while I was waiting for test results and then for a couple of days after but now I feel OK. I've been talking to many breast cancer survivors on here and in person and I know it's going to be fine. You will be fine. It's scary and not what we would choose to be going through right now but none of it is as bad as I imagined it would be. I'm having bilateral mastectomies with reconstruction and if I need chemo/radiation I'll get it and go on with my life. You will do whatever you have to do and when your treatment is done you will still be here.

I realized that my battle is not against cancer, it's against fear and anxiety. I have the choice to think about what I want to think about. I don't have to worry. I let the fear overcome me for a while and got it out of my system and now I'm enjoying each day. I've caught myself imagining what things will be like in the future - imagining pain, lots of Dr. appointments, etc. But if I take it one day at a time and only think about the day and not about what might happen, it's really not bad. Today I am not in pain. Today I did not have any Dr. appointments. Today I'm comfortable and the day is almost over and I'm going to walk on the tread mill. Tomorrow I'm going to visit my aunt and I'm pretty sure tomorrow will be a good day too. I'm not going to look beyond that for now. One day at a time.

Italychick

rosierosie take a deep breath. When the doctor says there are lots of options to discuss, there is surgery, neoadjuvant chemo, adjuvant chemo, hormonals, Herceptin if you have her2 positive, radiation, etc. there is a lumpectomy vs. a mastectomy, and even if you do a lumpectomy first, a mastectomy can still be done at a later date. And the hormonals have several different options. There is also genetic testing. You will feel better once you have an action plan. Some women have issues with treatment, most do fine. There are so many things available to help with side effects now that you really shouldn't have to suffer through treatments. I worked and exercised all through treatment, kept my grandkids, basically lived life mostly normally. Some parts of a cancer diagnosis are sucky, but take it one day at a time, one step at a time, and try not to look too far down the road at the what ifs.

As for cost, some of the manufacturers subsidize some of the treatments, your oncologists office will know. In my case, Herceptin and the Neulasta shots to keep the white blood cell count were subsidized a great deal by the manufacturers.

So my advice is take a deep breath, go to the planning meeting discussing your options, and then make decisions based on what you are comfortable with. The panickyest scariest part is before you have a plan.

And Google is loaded with inaccurate statistics, so don't trust it. If I read and believed what dr. Google says, I would have given up hope and be planning for death. And it is not the case. The majority of women survive treatment just fine and go on to live normal lives.

Big hugs, I know it is a scary time. One step at a time.

rosierosie

thank you so much for explaining to me what treatments there are. I never knew there were so many you made me feel so much better its been a rough day it not real.my head in a whirlwind.

from one Italian chick to another Grazie my friend

Italychick

we Italians are everywhere, aren't we? Just go have a nice glass of dago red I say!

Also, to add more to the mix, if chemo enters in at all, there are a bunch of different regimens to consider there too. Once you get more facts, please come back here with questions. There are women on this board who I swear are smarter than the doctors! They all helped me so much!

LisaAlissa

Hi RosieRosie!

I'm so sorry you need to be here, but glad you found us.

About your appointment, notebooks and another set of ears are great, but nothing beats a recording (so ask them if you can record, and then do it). You're going to have a lot of trouble listening to them discuss your cancer. Being able to relisten is very helpful as you ponder your decisions.

Separately, you don't need to make any decisions tomorrow. You have time, and even time for a second opinion if you aren't comfortable with this doc. For a instance, you might want to meet with a medical oncologist and a radiologic oncologist before any surgery. Increasingly for some types of cancer they are suggesting neoadjuvent chemo. And there are some types of radiation that are done during the surgical procedure. Others require placement of a catheter or a spacer during surgery to allow later placement of a catheter. These examples may or may not be on the list of things s/he is planning to discuss with you--they may not be applicable to you, but they might be.

Hang in there, and come back and talk with us!

LisaAlissa

Pammac47

I am not diagnosed still waiting on results, but I keep thinking of drowning my boob in a huge vat of booze, for some reason that cheers me up. Get it drunk, talk to it, make it see reason!! Oh Lord, I never was right...but neither is this. Maybe this helps, or maybe I'm venting who knows. Truth is if your diagnosed your gearing up for a fight and you give it your all. This thread and discussions have been a source of strength just to see the hope of others makes me stronger and I can't thank you all enough,

Pam

etnasgrl

I was diagnosed on a Thursday morning with zero information. It was the day after my biopsy and the radiologist who performed the biopsy called my doctor to let her know that the report was not yet ready, but the results were positive for cancer.
My doctor called me to let me know, but she had no other information. What a nightmare that was! All I knew was that I had cancer....I didn't know how large it was, if it had spread, or anything else. I will NEVER forget that time, it was honestly the worse time of my life.
The waiting is truly the hardest part....especially when you know next to nothing.

As the other ladies have told you, once you get info on your cancer and learn of treatment options, you WILL feel better. You will feel a little more in control. I highly suggest taking someone with you who can take good notes while you talk to the doctor(s). There really is no way to listen well and take notes at the same time, especially when you are so overwhelmed, scared, and stressed.
My sister-in-law went with me and she was a God send! She took pages of notes for me and wrote down things I didn't even hear the doctor say because I was overwhelmed.

The most important thing to know is that you're going to get through this! You may not feel like that right now, but you will. Please post here often. This is such a wonderful place, full of terrific ladies who understand just what you are going through. ((((Hugs)))))

rosierosie

Thank you, I am so confused, I have medicare and a medicare advantage plan, so that will pay 80 percent and I pay 20 percent I know I am getting ahead of myself but if I need radiation or chem. how does that work. How much does it cost. do you pay for the whole treatment at once or separate. I on a fixed income, I am 65 do they have payment plans I so distraught right know anyhelp or advice would help. thank you all for your support

ml143333

Rosie - I am so very sorry that you had to join our group, but it is a good group to join. You will get great information and support here.

Waiting and wondering truly is a horrible time. If you can't take someone with you to your appointment, take a notebook and a tape recorder or use your phone.

There are many treatment options available to you based on different diagnoses and it is daunting at first, but once you choose a path, it does become a bit easier. I echo what others have said - DO NOT USE DR. GOOGLE!

As for finances - yes this is a hard part too, but in my experience, every office I have visited including the hospital have made payment plans with me after insurance paid their part.

06elise

I was just in the same boat as you and all the other wonderful ladies on this forum! My first chemo dose was yesterday, and I have to say that a certain level of calm took over as soon as I decided on an approach;

In the mean time, the things that got me through that waiting period - and are still helping me deal with anxiety - were (1) the sheer number of people who approached me to say they were also survivors; some for 9-11 years! (2) hilarious and fanciful movies, and above all (3) faith. My doctors have treated hundreds of people in the same boat as mine, and there is something so *stable* about the thought of lashing my tippy canoe onto this

Golden01

Remember to breathe. While Medicare Advantage Plans can differ, my Mom was diagnosed in her eighties with breast cancer and chose a BMX. With Medicare and her Medicare Supplement plan, she didn't pay a penny. Sending good thoughts your way.

06elise

Oh, how I can relate! I was just in the same boat as you and many of the other wonderful ladies on this forum! My first chemo dose was yesterday, and I have to say that a certain level of calm took over as soon as I decided upon an approach. (Neoadjuvant AC-THP, BMX with reconstruction, Herceptin for a full year; most of which I had never heard of before last month!)

In the mean time, the things that have helped me deal with this anxiety the most are (1) the sheer number of people who have approached me to say they are also survivors; some for 9 years and longer! (2) hilarious and fanciful movies, and jokes and silliness, and above all (3) faith.

My doctors have treated hundreds of people in the same boat as mine, and there is something so *stable* about the thought of securing my tippy canoe onto this huge flotilla... knowing they have all weathered this same storm... knowing the experience is not a new one for any of them...!

Regarding expenses, I encourage you to speak with the financial resources at your hospital. They are quite possibly the only ones in the entire scheme of things who are more motivated than you(!) to find some form of insurance that will pay the full 100%. It's their livelihood after all. Mine found a cancer-specific form of Medicaid, for which I've just applied. (Medicaid can back-date coverage for up to 90 days. Cross fingers. Say a prayer.)

NatsFan

Rosie - just so you know, eight years after my initial diagnosis, I'm still alive and kicking at age 60! So there's a lot of hope out there.

As everyone else has said, right after diagnosis is absolutely worst time. Once you meet with some doctors and get a "game plan" in place, it gets a lot better. Second opinions are always great especially if your first doctors don't answer your questions fully or if you don't fully understand what they are recommending and why. If you want a second, it sounds like you're in the US, so you may want to get a consult at an NCI-designated cancer center near you - http://www.cancer.gov/research/nci-role/cancer-cen...

You may want to get a notebook now and start writing down all the questions you have, and take it with you to your appointments. During your doctor's appointment, it's difficult to remember everything that you want to ask, so the notebook will help make sure that you get ALL your questions answered fully. I echo everyone else's suggestion to take someone with you, or if no one is available, record the appointment. The doctor will probably tell you a lot of things, and there's no way you're going to remember it all. The combination of your notebook, a trusted friend, and possibly a recorder will give you materials you can refer back to after the appointment.

BarredOwl

Rosierosie:

I am very sorry you are going through this, receiving information about a positive biopsy with no further concrete details. The period of time when you do not know what you may be dealing with is worse than actually knowing.

Different types of disease receive different types of treatment(s), ranging from surgery** alone (in the appropriate case), to surgery plus one or more of radiation therapy; chemotherapy; targeted therapy (for HER2+ invasive disease); and/or endocrine therapy.

Please understand that without any additional information about whether the results of the biopsy showed non-invasive disease and/or invasive disease, or the additional features of such disease, such as type or histology, estimated size, grade, as well as ER and PR status (for invasive or non-invasive disease), and HER2 status (for invasive disease), at this time, it remains totally unclear what (if any) further treatments will be indicated or considered beyond surgery, or the timing of such treatments (if any).

Additional pathology and testing will be performed on tissues removed during surgery, which together with lymph node status (e.g., as determined by sentinel node biopsy (if applicable)), may provide additional information regarding your treatment plan.

Please do not hesitate to request an appointment to review the results soon, and take a trusted person with you.

Please do not hesitate to contact the doctor who called you to inquire if additional details are now available.

You may also wish to inquire when a copy of the official pathology report from the biopsy will be made available to you.

BarredOwl

[Edit: **Depending on imaging and biopsy results, you may have a variety of surgical options, including lumpectomy or mastectomy, with or without reconstruction, and possibly a choice from a variety of reconstruction options).]

Blessings2011

rosierosie -

All my docs just shook their heads and smiled when they walked into the exam room... there I was with my three pages of questions I had written down before every appointment. And I wouldn't let them leave before those questions were answered.

That's why I suggested asking the doc about a Nurse Navigator. If the doctor isn't able to answer all your questions due to time limits, the Nurse Navigator is there for just that reason... to make complicated medical things understandable, and to make sure you feel like you are being heard.

Oh - also, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 60 - same age I was. In those days there were no fancy tests, no reconstruction, or a variety of options, so she had a single mastectomy, and no other treatment. Every year she would go in for a mammogram on her remaining breast and tell the nurse "Now remember, you're only going to charge me half price for this!"

She passed away, 28 years later, at the age of 88 from other health issues. She was still cancer-free at that point.

MomOfTwins98

Good Morning - I agree with the other ladies..the waiting is the hardest part. when I was first diagnosed, I called the Care Navigation team every day asking questions and waiting for results She would tell me, it is so normal to feel this way and the hardest part is "now hurry up and wait" - I also brought a notebook and wrote everything down and then looked up terms and procedures that I did not fully understand. Once you have information, and feel some type of control, it is better. I was diagnosed in September, 2015 so it is all still newish to me. I have a bag that carries all of my information and I still carry it everywhere and to every Drs appointment. The anxiety can be overwhelming at times but, take a deep breath, and have faith that you have good physicians. I even went for second opinion to Dana Farber to be sure that what I was being told was correct. I have 17 year old twins (boy and girl) and was diagnosed the day before their senior year began. All I kept thinking was that I was ruining their senior year. You know what, they've been AMAZING and my biggest support. My son even gave a speech saying that I was his hero because, through all the ups and owns, I've stayed strong. The truth is, Ive stayed strong because of my children. Its okay to cry and okay to be scared as this is the unknown but you'll be okay once yo know what you are dealing with. I wish you well and stay on these forums..the information is amazing and the women so supportive.

rosierosie

Thank you all for such support, All I do is cry, but I been getting information I called Breast Center in my area Good Sam Hosp West islip Ny, I talked to a women in camcers services, I told her I was freaking out, she said take one day at a time. I also mentioned about the cost I have Medicare and Medicare Advantage which I would pay 20 percent. she said there a lot of programs that help out with the costs. She is going to have another women call me to walk me thru what I should know and ask my dr. I will see him tomorrow. She said you have to wait to see what the Dr says and don't jump to conclusions. She made me feel a lot better. I will know a lot more on Thursday thank you all from the bottom of my heart

Mommyathome

Rosie,

Did they say if it was DCIS or invasive? If you are very anxious you can ask your doctor for Valium to help you relax a bit.

rosierosie

I find out tomorrow, yes I am going to ask for valium I need it, how do you feel? I am scared, he just told me that they found it early that's about it, and he was 100 percent sure he can get it out. Its so confusing , how did you make it thru? thank you for your support I sorry that you had to go thru it also

Kiks1

Rosie,

(((HUGS))). Take a deep breath. It will get better once you know more. I got through by the help of Xanax but now I don't even take one anymore. It is still fearful but the desperateness and intense anxiety will dissipate somewhat. One of the best advice that I was given, through this forum, is to make sure you bring something to record your visit with your drs. That way you can retain information. Please come on this forum when you need help, everyone is totally understanding.

MomOfTwins98

I so agree with Kiks1 - write everything down and don't be afraid to tell them if you need clarification. I even asked them to spell some of the words being used as it was the first time I'd heard them and I wanted to be able to go home and do research. I clearly remember my surgeon telling me he'd be doing a lumpectomy and when his nurse came in to have me sign the papers, it said "Partial mastectomy" - I said "no" - She explained that, in their terms, it was the same thing. I had no idea at all. I must have re-asked that question ten times before my surgery and then again the day of my surgery to be absolutely sure that we were all talking the same language. You MUST advocate for yourself and not be worried about asking too many questions. To help ease your mind about cost, I do know that, at our cancer center, they do have many grants that can help people in need. There should be a social worker and a care navigation nurse who can help you with all that. My husband works out of state and our insurance gets complicated as we live in MA but he works in NY. Just know that there is help out there and the American Cancer Society also helps fund things, if it should come to that for you. I really do think that, once you have more facts and know what you are dealing with, the journey will be a bit easier for you. It is the unknown that is so hard and scary. I think you'll also find that, as you proceed, you start to meet others who have also traveled this road...many of whom you may have known for a while and had no idea. That's what happened for me. I'm only 6 months out so still dealing with some scary feelings but it does get better and, as long as you have care and someone watching you, you'll do just fine. I'm glad they caught your BC early which makes it that much more cureable...and it is cureable. Take Care!

msphil

sweetie most if not all have been in your shoes here, i still remember my fear and dread and i am now going into my 22 nd yr Survivor(Praise GOD) so once things in treatment plan are in effect things will ease up, we will support u. msphil idc stage20/3 nodes Lmast chemo 3 months befroe surgery and 3 after rads and 5 yrs on tamoxifen.

roserosie

You will get get through this, trust me it isn't easy but you will find your way.

The beginning diagnosis is the worst because you have so many unanswered questions

but you will get your answers have a plan and move forward. I will pray for you, God Bless

iammags

I am going through a situation almost like yours. I have a lot of calcifications in both breast so I'm used to getting a closer look every time I have a mammogram. 6 months ago the radiologist found something in my right breast that he wanted to follow up on. After 6 months I went back to have it rechecked and it was fine. But (and big But here!) the radiologist found two lesions in another part of my breast. She biopsied the lesions right then and after 4 days of waiting for the results the pathology came back. Both lesions are cancer. One is DCIS grade 3 and the other is IDC grade 2. Shit. The BS says that it is very early and that she can remove it all. I'm having a lumpectomy on March 2nd and then the cancer will be staged and I'll see an oncologist. Then it's radiation. After that I don't have a clue.

I am also very nervous about all of the details. I find that researching the cancer and the treatments helps me to be less scared. Knowledge is power. Because breast cancer is so common I have know several women who have had it and who've gone through various kinds of treatment. I am now part of a group that I never wanted to belong to but it comforts me to know that I'm not the only one.

Good luck to you!