Suggestions to stay positive...just diagnosed

mmshea

Hello,

Newly diagnosed...about a week even though it feels much longer then that! I know how important a positive outlook is for fighting this disease...finding myself with a lot of negative thoughts...any suggestions to help stay positive? Positive affirmations? Etc...right now my life is full of appts in my extra time but hoping that once I pick my medical team and have plan in place, I can focus on me and staying positive. I notice it's hard especially at night. TIA!!

Golden01

I think remembering to breathe is most important. I literally would find myself holding my breath (especially at red lights, along with the gripping the steering wheel). I even asked people I worked with to notice and remind me to breath. The other thing I found helpful was when I just had "enough" of breast cancer, we'd just set it aside and my husband and I would go for a walk to the park, see a funny movie, or go out to eat. We could pick the breast cancer stuff back up the next day. Once I got into treatment, mindless funny television worked for me.

Good wishes all around.

Jujubee16

I was diagnosed on new year's eve...less than two months after losing my only sibling. Everyone around me is at awe. That smile you see in my profile picture hasn't left me. I have my moments. But I have them, wipe the tears and feel a little stronger. My strength comes from accepting I have cancer but also from constantly reminding myself I'm not going anywhere. I'm not afraid of scars, of losing both my breasts, chemo, nothing....my life is my priority. I have always believed there are no mistakes in life, no accidents. Everything has a purpose. At 33 you wouldn't expect to have cancer but I believe there is a bigger purpose to all I'm about to go through. My sister left behind a little girl. And I look at her and see all the motivation and strength I need. Look around at all the people who love you and need you. They are your strength. Think of all those you will inspire. How many women you can lend a helping hand to someday. Once your team is in place you will feel more at ease. But in the meantime know you have myself and all these fellow warriors here with you. Please email me whenever you need to vent or want some words of encouragement. You're all my sisters

MelissaDallas

Also, while being positive may make you feel better, studies show that a positive outlook has absolutely no bearing on outcome. You are entitled to your negative feelings and fear & they don't make your condition worse. Those feelings are perfectly natural and anyone who tries to push you to "be positive" is not helpful

Anonymous

For me, I sought out a lot of information so I wouldn't be caught off guard when the doctors explained things to me. The more you understand about your diagnosis, the less afraid you will be, because you will have the knowledge to do what's best for you. I won't say go and google everything you can think of, but search around on the forums here. You are in the right place, we're all here to support each other.

I can relate to some of what Melissa said. Everyone told me not to worry about my biopsy because it's going to be benign, but I mentally prepared myself for what actually could happen. It made it less shocking and put me in "warrior mode" so I could be stronger than the cancer and kick it's butt!

I wish you all the best and don't hesitate to reach out!

Meow13

In the beginning drugs anti-anxiety was my only relief. Talking with veteran bc survivors really helped alot. Look at them they are not constantly thinking about breast cancer. They are laughing and living I can too.

LisaAlissa

I'm with Golden (breathing is good--please keep doing it! lol) But Melissa has an important point. Outcome isn't dependent on a positive outlook. Nobody says you have to be strong. Or be "good-attitude-cancer-girl." All you have to do is show up.

The reason to work on mood is so that you'll be happier. Being miserable is a sad state of being. And we'd (and I assume you would) rather you weren't there (miserable). So find things you enjoy and that require your focus. If some of those things are "portable" (needlework, video games on your phone, zentangles, a sketchbook, books to read, whatever) then you can take a focus with you as you go to all of those appointments.

About sleep. Do you have trouble sleeping? If so, that might be something you should have evaluated. Maybe your PCP can refer you to a sleep center for evaluation. Good sleep is always important, and if you need help, march right out and get it!

If it's trying to quiet a racing mind as you lay down to sleep, try to use Golden's idea. Breathe. Focus on your breath. As you do, your mind will wonder off to other things. Just quietly bring your attention back to your breath. Keep breathing.

HTH,

LisaAlissa

NancyHB

mmshea,

Sorry you find yourself here, but "here" is a great place to find support, comfort and advice. Having been down this road four years ago - and finding myself here, again, with a new diagnosis - I can share that there will be good days and not-so-good days. Feeling whatever you're feeling is right, and good, and just fine. You don't have to put on a brave face for anyone but yourself. Having cancer and going through treatment can be hard - sometimes really hard - and sad, and scary, and lots of different emotions. Let yourself feel what you're feeling, be kind and patient with yourself, and do the best you can. Being positive can help you feel better overall, but give yourself permission to feel angry and hurt and upset, too. It's natural and part of the process.

Gentle hugs to you.