Tired of living with constant uncertainty

MinnesotaBarb

http://www.curetoday.com/community/barbara-tako/2016/01/tired-of-cancer-cancer-equals-uncertainty

Anyone else feel this way? I am tired of living with uncertainty as a bc survivor. Your thoughts on my article? Thanks.

Edited by Mods to remove highlight from non-linked text.

lola12

I certainly do feel this way. In fact, I posted to this section of board the other day for some comfort and no one seemed to answer. Hopefully they are all living their lives Unless I have an ache or pain or find something of concern, I feel I do take a break, but for 1 week every 6 months that break comes to a halt. This week is my week of uncertainty since tomorrow I go for my annual breast MRI. I had a unilateral mastectomy, so my remaining breast must be watched. I rotate mammogram and MRI every 6 months and have done so for 6.5 years since my diagnosis. So I pray. I even get my disc of the MRI and try to compare/read it myself. If I get the ok, I am on a cancer break until 6 months from now.

It is hard, but what else can we do? There is uncertainty in everything, and I keep trying to figure out why I let this one get to me so much, so often.

I know my response probably doesn't help, but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.

Lola

Lily55

The uncertainty gets really really wearing..........and it is hard to live totally in the present..........even though the Dalai LLama says its the only place to be....

DivineMrsM

I was diagnosed stage iv bc from the start. It is a surreal moment when you have lived over 50 years with good health to be told you have end stage bc.

That was five years ago. At the time, there was no way to know how I would respond to treatment. The uncertainty was mixed with all kinds of other emotions. Having this forum where I could read and learn from others at stage iv was the first key in moving forward.

Sorting out my emotions took time, and after six months, I asked for antianxiety medicine which I now take daily (buspar) and that also allowed me to move forward. I think about bc every day but not in a way that interferes with everyday living.

Doing much more of what I love, cutting things from my life that I did out of obligation, simplifying my life, decluttering my home, trying new things, keeping a journal have all helped me in living with uncertainty.

Recently, I read that the opposite of certainty is not uncertainty, it is open mindedness. I allow myself to think about that when I have those wondering moments about the future. Being open to the future has a better sound to it than being uncertain.

I do live much more in the moment. It allows for much fuller days. It is satisfying to think of all the living I've packed in to the past five years and am still moving forward.

I have scans every six months and am currently stable. Any progression will be dealt with when it happens. In the meantime, I try to be aware of and absorb the good things, I handle the crappy stuff as best I can, and it's not just bc, life likes to throw other crap our way, too. Life is never the same after a diagnosis of breast cancer and it's just something that I've had to accept and adapt to

newbcny

I haven't even started radiation yet and feel wiped already...2 months of Drs.,getting opinions etc have dragged me down already and now I feel scared thinking about the day to day worries moving forward

Traveltext

Divine, that's a great story and an inspiration to those worry worts like me. You really do have to find a way to get you though life with BC. Good adapters have a big advantage over those who think their life will somehow return to "normal". And as time goes on, treatments are improving, so we all have good reason to be hopeful.

Newbcny, try to get the best advice possible and read as much about this disease as as you can. Knowledge is power. Take heart in believing that you will follow thousands and thousands of people with this disease who overcome the initial hurdles to lead normal lives post treatment. The best advice my MO gave me was never to have preconceived notions about any stage of your treatment.

Sandylack

Hi Barb,

I felt like the way you are feeling since I was told that I have BC. I had mastectomy done and chemotherapy which I stopped because of the pain and serious allergic reactions etc.

I find comfort in praying and leaving everything in the hands of God.

"The glory of the Lord is upon you. Nothing is too hard for God. No matter what you're going through, don't give up. Have faith. God got you!" "God has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggles and a reward for your faithfulness. Don't give up!" This what the Lord says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears I WILL HEAL YOU. 2 Kings chapter 20 verse 5.

I find comfort in these words and when I am feeling I cannot go on anymore I read them and pray.

Best wishes,

Sandylack

nihahi

The reality of bc is a huge shock to anyone, and I've never met anyone who hasn't been at first stunned and dismayed. The hardest thing in life is to hit the "reset" button, when a life altering "event" smacks us in the face, but I think that is the key to moving forward. The people I know who struggle the most to get on with living a satisfying life, are those who spend the majority of their time looking backwards, and comparing everything to "before"... Yes, we are "changed"....but many things in life will change us. Life is about adapting, not maintaining.... It is also perfectly normal to get the "scaniexty", but with time, that also begins to fade. How you feel at 2 months out, is different than 2 years, and 10 years....etc.

I found the most helpful thing for me, was to make "positive" plans for the future.....keeps me looking forward.