Being a warrior mom is hard

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Skittlegirl
Skittlegirl Member Posts: 428

Battling breast cancer is hard.

Raising kids is hard.

So this is just a place for us younger moms here to post whatever you need to. Accomplishments. Vents. Sadness.

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  • Skittlegirl
    Skittlegirl Member Posts: 428
    edited December 2015

    Chemo during Christmas time sucks. Lots of fun activities going on, but I am flat on my back dealing with chemo stuff and DH won't attempt taking our trio out solo, which I understand. I know that next year it should be different, but right now it just kinda sucks. We also don't have a lot of people begging to take the kids. More like me begging for some or one to go somewhere so we can have a break.

  • Abby20
    Abby20 Member Posts: 102
    edited December 2015

    I can totally relate! I had my treatment 3 years back during holiday season and it was so hard. Give it one year and you will back to life up and running.

    All the best,

    Abby

  • kcat2013
    kcat2013 Member Posts: 391
    edited December 2015

    I was smack in the middle of treatment 2 years ago during Christmas. It was hard, my kids (who were 6 and 10 at the time) didn't get to do alot of our "normal" holiday traditions because chemo hit me so hard I could barely function. We were lucky we had a tree up at all! However, 2 years out from all that, I can tell you that my kids don't look back on that year and bemoan everything they didn't get to do and how different that year was. Kids are amazingly resilient (way more so than I thought they would be). My kids have truly surprised me with how much of the bad stuff they don't carry with them and how their memories seem to be focused on the good things that happened during that time.

    On the other hand *my* memories of that time are quite different and still very fresh in how hard it was :) Two instances will stick with me forever. First, my 6 year olds birthday is 3 days before Christmas, 2 days after a chemo treatment that year. I don't remember a single thing from his birthday party--I had fuzzy chemo brain plus was really out of it because of all the meds I was on to combat the wicked nausea. It makes me sad that I can't recall celebrating with him at all--even though I know I was there. Second, I can remember throwing myself a pity party on Christmas Eve when the rest of the family went to church and I had to stay home alone, seeing as I felt like death warmed over at that point! It was particularly sad since I had to miss my 10 year old singing for the service. But, like I said, my kids don't even talk about me missing those things now, so I'm very thankful that they came away from that time less traumatized than me!Loopy Hang in there!!

    Kendra


  • Skittlegirl
    Skittlegirl Member Posts: 428
    edited January 2016

    Another member let me know of this summer camp for kids who have a parent battle the cancer demon. It's Camp Kesem and it's free. Registration opened on Friday for kids 6-15 (older teens can be counselors in training). My girls are so excited to go to camp. Just thought I'd pass it along if anyone else wants to look into their local camp. Our local one is run by UW students, but lucky for us the actual camp is in central WA instead of having to drive all the way to Seattle.

  • Stephmoen
    Stephmoen Member Posts: 563
    edited January 2016

    I was diagnosed at 29 with 16 month old and 5 year old it has almost been a year since diagnoses I sometimes can't believe. I was able to get through last year thankfully I have an amazing family that helped me through

  • Jenwith4kids
    Jenwith4kids Member Posts: 635
    edited January 2016

    Camp Kesem is wonderful. My kids went the year I was dxd and then again last year. I just registered them for their third year. Do it, it's free and fun!


  • jenjenl
    jenjenl Member Posts: 948
    edited January 2016

    So hard but they certainly motivated me during treatment. They made me be positive even when I wasn't feeling that way. At the same time when they would meet certain milestones I would be so sad and scared, worried would these be the last milestones. I'd then shake my head to snap out of it and curse myself for thinking that way. When I was worrying a lot i would push myself to do something fun with them, even though it was so draining. During all that I really did feel like super mom - i worked, had treatment and took care of the kids 100% of the time. My husband worked for two ass faces who didn't give a crap - he would have to argue with them to get time off to go to chemo with me...WTF? Karma is all I can say - their house caught on fire last year, all safe but karma.

    I am 3 years out and now when I ask my kids about it they say they don't remember. I never said I had cancer, I thought they were too young to hear that. I do find myself reverting back to snappy behavior vs cherishing every moment, I need to work on that. I am so sorry you don't have a better support system to come and scoop the kids up.

  • BlueKoala
    BlueKoala Member Posts: 190
    edited March 2016

    I am most worried about how my three-year-old is going to cope. I start treatment next week. Spending time at grandma's is still a novelty, but will she tire of it? She's a bit of a tantrum thrower, and stubborn as. Normally I can out stubborn her, but I don't know if I will be able to quite so well while I'm going through chemo!
    She told me this morning she is sad and cross that I will lose my hair.
  • Stephmoen
    Stephmoen Member Posts: 563
    edited March 2016

    I was nervous about my little ones as well my youngest was 13 months it was hard I had 2 lengthy hospital stays through treatment she didn't understand why mama was gone..but we made it through best advice enjoy every moment with them you can don't be afraid to ask for help and take care of yourself! Much luck you can do this!

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